I am sorry for your pain. You cannot commit suicide, and leave your children like that!<P>When I found out about my H's 10 year affair, and two OC's, I almost did the deed. I asked my counselor for advice when I had these feelings. Very wise words, "This moment will pass. Do not act on it. It will pass." The next day you can reconsider. I also have a bi-polar C. I just felt it was good advice, and took it several times. <P>Life is too precious to give up on. <P>Love to you, and yours, ember