I was going to ask a depressing ? but I don't need more depression. Anyways, today I get home from work w/ an apology note and a postive preg test on the table. I've posted in recovery so I'll be brief, w left today to think and to get help for her issues. She took our 3 1/2 yr old d w/ her and says she wants things to work out between us. She will call Monday.<P>knight

Are you all right? Do you know what you guys plan to do? I'm so sorry this has happened to your marriage, but there are plenty of recovering marriages represented here to prove that you can make it.<P>From what I have observed in these forums, the strongest marriages seem to be found here in Pregnancy/Child, where the deepest wounds have been inflicted. An OC is sort of like add insult to injury, and pile shame on top of shame, but then it's like--NO, WAIT! this is another person's LIFE involved here and who is now also touched with infidelity forever! UGH!!! <P>What to do, what to do? Do you keep the baby? Abort the baby? NO! You're a Christian. What will people think? Oh, who care's what people think, this is YOUR life! Do you tell the OM or raise the baby as your own? Do you adopt the baby out? Then, the OM will have to know IF it is the OMs baby? <P>No easy answers to this dilemma. However, I suspect that deep inside your heart, you already know what you intend to do. That's just how God works. He gives us peace inside regarding our destiny and somehow we just *know* what to do. Forget about everything and everybody around you, you are not on the spot. GOD is on the spot. He's going to get you through this.<P>You've come to the right place for understanding & plenty of hugs. Sometimes there is not much to say, just give a hug and feel the everlasting pain that only God can heal and keep healing. <P>I said a prayer for you tonight, that your wife would come home so you can figure out together what to do.<p>[This message has been edited by BINthereDUNthat (edited September 05, 2001).]

thank you BTDT<P>You are right I know what I want to do. #1 make this marriage work. I will raise the baby as my own if given the chance, the downer is I'm not sure what nationality the father is, who cares? thanks for the prayers!!!<P>knight

Try not to worry. My OC's bio dad is a different race than I am. OC was extremely different from me growing up. I married a man of my same race. One of our twins has exactly the same complexion and hair color as OC?!! So please don't worry. God will work it out. I'm still praying for your wife to forgive herself and come home. You have a long journey ahead, but something tells me you have what it takes to make it. It's called character.

thanks BTDT,<P>your encouragement means a lot to me right now.<P>knight