Please see the latest post i wrote under your topic i hope it clarifies some things.

whatif, I just read about your misfortune w/the courts. I'm sorry for you. I hope the days get brighter for you.<P>You know whatif? You are a strong lady. I do not have the mental fortitude to go through the court system. For my marriage to survive I need the whole issue dropped. I tried in the beginning w/a wonderful attitude..ow would not allow me to call or set things up. I know why. This past weekend she dropped off letters w/o envelope to h's office enticing him w/money, more c's..,herself....said she'll wait forever and loved him enough to have his son. I feel that is very harmful to both h and me. Said she is young and I am old...in 20 years I'll be old woman and she will be my age and beautiful. Calls herself "the italian princess".<P>I have a wedding to plan and a grandchild on the way. I do not want to spend one more minute w/that ow....She literally tires me and H out.<P>I understand your heart, whatif. Understand mine. I am amazed at your capacity to love.<P>love<BR>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

Whatif-<P>Thanks again for posting! I'm sorry your going through all this crap. I hope things work out for you and your family. I like Gem admire you. I was willing to go through going to court etc... Just like you are but exOW is violent. She's actually threaten to get her so called crazy family from NY to do me and my H in. That's an exact quote.<P>This is painful for everybody. Like a lot of woman here I blame my H more than I blame exOW. I dedicated my life to him not her. I would have never been exOW friend but I would have been cival with her. Instead she chooses to attack me at every angle. We had one conversation a few days after D-Day. And once she realized my H was going to do everything to keep his family she did everythig in her power to make me look crazy and deranged. I think she felt that would make her look like a better person. Not sure. I'm just at the point where I'm exhausted with her antics. <P>There was no harm done your intitled to your opinons. I do appreciate you rereading your post. No apology is needed. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. We all need each other to get through these crazy things. <P>Gem-How old is your exOW?<BR> <P>Unsure<P> <P>

She's 32....I'm 48 and H is 48. How "bout you and your exow UNSure?<BR>love<BR>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

Debi-<P>ExOW is 31. (She acts like she's 18) My H and I are 29. Your still young exOW is just jealous she can't have your H. She has to remember your H has more things in common with you. Like the fact you've been married 20 something years! She needs to get over H and move on with her life. She pathetic and pitiful. And hey with your new boob's I know you keep him occupied. j/k<P><BR>Tee<P>

OOOOHHHHH Girl I do my best! I think it's my new DR. office job and the boobs combined.<P>Honestly I don't look 48. I'm mistaken for my 34 yr old sis ter at work by the patients...who BTW say I look great w/my new blonde hair!!! HA! HA! HA!<P>ow is fat and large compared to me!<P>love<BR>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

UNsure and gem, I give you both credit for even trying I didnt have that much in me to even go there. Everyone of you ladies that have been willing to involve the oc in your lives have something I just dont think I'll ever have. Just thinking about it makes me tired.<BR> Unsure so sorry this nut has been doing the things she has done to you. The way you have handled it is something to be admired. When I read things like this and how even threw all this insanity you ladies can still keep it together it restores my belief in women. It has really helped me. There was quit some time that when this all began that I was ashamed to even be the same gender as these ow. <BR> Gem I also found the working out of the home really helps with the self image. I wanted to tell you that a long time ago, I cant remember if I did. I found that out before this all happened but couldnt seem to even make myself want to go to work. You sure pulled through all this in record time. It really feels good to be back working. Hubby got someone to help finish this job were doing so I could stay home and clean the house go figure . We have been working nights all week is yuky, glad its over for now till the next one comes along. with love flowerseed <BR>

Thanks Flowersex! Yes my job has really made H see me differently. I quit all work on d-day! I could barely make it through the day from shock and hurt and all the other emotions.<P>It was a miracle I got this job! My sister let me go to work w/her(office manager) to pass some time. I would do whatever the girls up front needed me to do. Stuff envelopes...get patient charts....call the next days list of appts. to confirm patients. It worked out so well I was offered a job! I work 5 days now and LOVE it.<P>I'm sitting here laughing at how your H "let" you have time off to clean! lol<P>My H is still on partial disability from his neck injury lifting trusses in June. We are awaiting the results of a myelogram he had last Fri. It was an awful test!!! Anyway H has cleaned, vacuumed, washed loads of clothes and really helps out.<BR>I'm telling you all he is a changed, happy, man.<BR>Tells me he's so relieved he doesn't have to sneak around anymore. Wishes he would have let ow tell me a long time b4 she got pregnant...which was her threat to him and they'd argue about it. Thing is by the time he told her he didn't care anymore what she did...she was pregnant. His biggest fear was me finding out he had been unfaithful...he can't believe this happened and I stayed w/him. Calls me his "life" and his "gift" from God.<P><BR>Sometimes I think this happened to call him back to prayer. He never really prayed for the right things before.<P>Sorry I went on and on.....<P>love<BR>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

Flowerseed,<P>Thanks for the support. Sorry about the late reply I had a busy weekend. It wasn't that hard for me to say I would support H involment in OC life. But when I thought about it in detail and thought about all of us going out as a family I knew people would ask if OC and my D were twins. (they are 5 days short of being 9 months apart)(that still pisses me off) Or friends we have would question who child she was? But I figured it would get easier as time when on. I can't lie I felt really relaxed this weekend knowing I didn't have to worry about any OW & OC issues. <P> Gem-I know your handling things with H in the sack. My mother is very young looking too people ask her if she's my sister. Isn't it funny how our H's always cheat with someone that's worst looking then we are. We were talking the other night about stars, who was pretty/handsome who wasn't. I say I don't want to start an argument but did you ever think exOW was pretty? He's like no but she looked a heck of a lot better before she gained that extra 50lbs. Anyway, I'm feeling good this morning.<P><BR>Tee