I have already posted today so I am sure that everyone knows that we are OK. We live outside Boston. Friends were worried because they know Mr. Job was supposed to fly Boston to Calif. this week for job interviews. The company has been slower than we thought in making arrangements and he won't be going until next week. We flew into Boston on Sunday night (coming home from seeing Precious) and I would fly again the day they reopen the airport. What is wrong with me? How can I be so cold?<P>Logan airport in Boston is our normal airport. We both fly out of there on business frequently. Mr. Job usually averages a flight a week (when he was working). It is a little scary that security can be so easily breached to have four planes at three airports be so easily hijacked.<P>In the face of true tragedy, I don't want to be seen to be borrowing other's tragedy and dressing up in their clothes. I know that we are far removed from the grief others have suffered and are suffering. Our church secretary lost her husband on one of the flights. A friend in the choir at church has three family members who worked in the Twin Towers and as of last night were unaccounted for. A husband and father of three from the next town over was killed as were two others from that town. Grief is all around us and hasn't really touched us so I don't want to steal anyone's grief.<P>We are OK and I am thankful. <P>Something about this past year and its deep, deep losses (tumor surgery, loss of our adoption of the children, affair and child, loss of employment, two major depressions--his and mine) has left me detached somehow. I try not to worry about what I can't control. I hope that doesn't mean I am becoming cold and heartless. I try to remain kind and loving but I have had enough tragedy, I can't absorb others'. Is there something wrong with me?<P>Went to prayer vigil last night and may go again tonight.<P>MJ

Mrs J,<P>I am greatful that the company your H was to interview at is dragging their feet. Who knows, he could have been on one of those planes! <P>I don't think you are crazy for being willing to fly again! I still believe that it is the safest way to travel, and you have a greater chance of dying from a car accident that in a plane crash. I would do the same.<P>Hopefully, any others in your area who post here are ok, and I will keep them in my prayers, along with everything else.<P>My father shared this verse with me this morning, when talking about my S and his trouble knowing how and what to pray for in this troubling time. I just want to share it with you:<P>Romans 8:26&27<P>In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself interceds for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accorcance with God's will.<P>This not only makes sence in this trying time, but also in each situation on this board. When those times just get you down, know that you don't even need to express what is so hard to express, in words. The Lord knows what is in your heart, and hears even our silent prayers.<P>I hope I don't sound like I am preaching, it just struck me this morning when my father quoted this scripture to me.<P>Love,<P>Tigger