C&Y caseworkers have officially informed our attorney that they will be returning custody to ow as soon as possible, which will be within the next couple of months. The county that now has jurisdiction says that the other county's C&Y workers "erred" in removing oc from ow's custody to begin with. They do not feel that ow leaving oc (who was 3 years old at the time) alone for an hour and a half in the middle of the night was anything more than poor judgement and says that it does not reflect on ow's ability to parent. They told our lawyer that they will not be investigating any further into the matter, and aside from attending parenting classes, ow will have custody unilaterally returned to her. They will not consider us for placement because "there is no valid reason" to take the child from the mother.<P>We were dumbfounded at this news. Our attorney tells us that we can refile for modification of custody to get the matter before a judge, but that it may indeed be "throwing good money after bad." Our other alternative is to keep up with our visits and wait until ow screws up again, which she probably will do. Or we could throw in the towel on the whole thing. Right now we are undecided about what approach to take. <P>This morning I found out a couple more things that I didn't know:<BR>1. Ow's sister is best friends with some of the caseworkers at C&Y - apparantly, they are great partying buddies. gee, I wonder why their siding with her?<P>2. Ow's former boyfriend of three years - the drunk, married one that she left oc alone to pick up that night - committed suicide last week. No word on whether or not oc has been told of the death of the man she called daddy for the last couple of years.<P>I do not know where we will go from here with this situation, as far as court goes. We're still exploring the possibilities, but at this point it looks very grim.<P>I feel like we are going to have bi-weekly visits with a child who will undoubtably be taught to hate us within a couple of years. The prospect of this is daunting, to say the least. For now at least, C&Y is holding ow to the court ordered visitation, but once they are not involved anymore, we're going to have to fight for each and every visit we have with oc.<P>On the up-side, I am now teaching accredited classes for a local university, and they have just told me that they are so pleased with my performance that they are definitely keeping me on-staff for the next semester. You may call me "Professor cd" So at least, when ow gets custody back and hits h for child support again, we'll be in a little better position financially, between my new job and having my cs order already in place.<P>I am working almost every day teaching these classes, and often am gone from 7 in the morning until past nine at night, but I still do get a day off now and then.<P>Also, C&Y have told us that they are prepared to start the all-day visits at our home soon. That means that ow will have to drive 2 1/2 hours to our house, drop oc off, spend all day in our one-horse town, then pick up oc and drive 2 1/2 hours home again. Wont be fun for her, but it will be the greatest victory we are going to get out of this at this time.<P>that's about it right now.<BR>-cd

I am so sorry you are going through all of this. i must admit you are a better woman than me because i will NEVER have anything to do with the OC for fair of all the nonsense you are going through. Good Luck in school and hope all works out well with your visits with OC. Remember, the OW can tell the C whatever she wants, it will be your actions the child will really remember in the long run.

CD,<P>I am sorry for you. You have been so noble and gracious through all of this. I am mostly sorry for Darling; she deserves better than she is getting.<P>MJ

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>I feel like we are going to have bi-weekly visits with a child who will undoubtably be taught to hate us within a couple of years. The prospect of this is daunting, to say the least. For now at least, C&Y is holding ow to the court ordered visitation, but once they are not involved anymore, we're going to have to fight for each and every visit we have with oc.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P><BR>cd I know what you mean about fighting all the way. I don't know where you get that "fight" from, but I'm pulling for all of you.<P>love<BR>Debi<P><P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

CD,<P>About Darling being taught to hate you, Dr. Bill Harley mentioned just that problem when I talked to him on the radio station. I hope our exOW has more class than that to teach Precious to hate us, well me mostly. I think that she does; so far nothing in her behavior has indicated that she is going to do that. In fact, she keeps pictures of us around and reminds OC all the time of who we are. When we went out last weekend, OC knew to call Mr. Job "Daddy" and knew me by first name.<P>In fact, when I put her down for her nap in the crib at our hotel room. She stood up, raised her arms and said "Mrs. Job, up, up, up." So I was a softy and laid down on the bed with her to get her to nap.<P>MJ

CD,<P>I am sorry that I didn't respond sooner. Obviously, I have had a lot on my mind. I just want to say that I am continuing to pray for you and your family in your situation. I have no advice for you, and if you should continue your fight. I would not know what to do in your shoes. Just know that I do pray for all of us and our situations.<P>Love,<P>Tigger