flowerseed, thanks and you are right--they usually don't get it. the OW left me a message also and told me she is sick of the grief i am causing her and she has had enought. can yo believe the B.... i'm causing her grief.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Annoying spice wont get it though. Very good reply. <BR>with love flowerseed <HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Yup!!!!! Annoyin' Spice will NEVER GET IT!!!! She may even be MY ow!!!! ha!!! ha!!!! Get OVER the loss! H's obviously choose us...the real woman in their lives!!!<P>You were just a boink in the night for boyhood pleasure and will NEVER be the MRS.<BR> no matter what!!!!heh..heh...heh.. Toooooo bad slut! Look up the meaning~!!!! of slut....Child didn't even matter to H marriage DID and legit kids did too!!!! ha..ha...<P><BR>Gemini1<P>love<BR>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....<P>[This message has been edited by gemini1 (edited September 21, 2001).]<p>[This message has been edited by gemini1 (edited September 21, 2001).]

Hey gem, I have a new song but cant seem to think of more words for it. <P>I dont wanna grow up I'm dealing with a sluts R us wanna be wife. <BR> <BR>Thats all I have been able to come up with this runs though my head everytime one of us is told to grow up. Maybe someone can help finish it.<BR> with love flowerseed<p>[This message has been edited by flowerseed (edited September 21, 2001).]

lemonpie,<BR> I know it just boggles the mind that this type of ow only concern themselves with themselves. I wonder how long it takes before they figure out the grief could have been prevented. Just makes ya wanna smack em. Just keep telling yourself one day the slut will get what she has coming.I cant see it being anything good. Thats the only way I have been able to keep from doing something I shouldnt. with love flowerseed<p>[This message has been edited by flowerseed (edited September 21, 2001).]

Hey I been there too and I was arrested for uttering threats, all I said was her life would never be the same as it was and life as she knew it would end, all I meant was I knew and she could not get away with it anymore but the wonderful little policeman beleived the ugly B**** that I was threatening her life and I had to go for probation but no record luckily, my conditions were no go within 2 blocks of her house but as my sil lived 1/2 mile from her I had to go, court is screwed up, anyway what I mean to say is watch what you say because unfortunatly the courts have sympathy for the OW they cry and carry on how they are the ones that were wronged and so on, bunch of Bullsh** I say, I really hate my OW and I really want to screw up her life just waitng till she actually has one to screw up LOL, take it east lemonpie, oh and by the way how old is the OC in your case and did you get a DNA test done?

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>I dont wanna grow up I'm dealing with a sluts R us wanna be wife.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>She still is trying to ruin our life..giving strife...like a knife.<P>Using her "love child" just to extort money...<BR>Sorry it won't work, honey.<P>Thought that the baby would surely guarantee....<BR>A shared life forever with hubby and me....<BR>No room here for three. <P>We've had it with her sophmoric ways....<BR>We are heading for much better days.....<BR>Together.<P>In the end she did lose.<BR>Happy I'm not in her shoes.<P>Let this be a warning to all who cheat....<BR>That MM isn't about to leave...we don't have to compete.<P>What God has joined together let no man put asunder.<BR>Don't doubt those words, never wonder.<P>We are together in spite of all you've done.<BR>In the end it's WE who won.<P>love<BR>Debi<P><P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

first let me say thanks to all of you who are responding, I can't tell you how much your words of encouragment and guidance means to me. neverforget, the OC will be 3 in NOV. i just found out about the A and OC in July. NOW let me fill you in on the latest event with my OW.<P>Well,the OW called my job and e-mailed me at work (i didn't know she knew where i worked). in her telephone conversation she told me not to call her job and if i had anything to say to her, call her at home and left her #. she went on to say how does it feel having her call my job. she then e-mailed me at work and told me if i told her neighbors, job, etc. she would send an e-mail to all the employees at my job describing her and my h relationship and she was sure the fine institution i worked for would not want a lunatic working for them. she also went on to say that she had no intentions of taking my dh to court and that my dh had told her he had no intentions of not remaining in the C life and that i need to let her and my dh set up visitation because there is no way she would have her C around me. she also said that i have caused HER enough grief and the C isn't going anywhere so i need to accept it so we all can go on with our lives. can you believe the bit....said i''m causing her grief. i also had to admit to myself that i wrote the check and the OW cashed it.<P>i saw my therapist that same day and i told her what happened she told me to stop all contact because i'm just giving her power. unfortunately, that advice went right out the window. i called the bit.....again and told her my job already knew about the A and I thanked her for providing the e-mail giving me proof that she is harrassing me and i also told her that my boss told me if she continued to e-mail me at work that they would deal with her directly. i also told her she forgot what role she was playing, i told her "in case you forgot, i am the wife--you are the whore... my job sympathizes with me not you". i ended my conversation with she was the lunatic and i had proof and that i am sure the board of nursing would be interested in her behavior. therefore she need to be concerned with keeping her license.<P>guys, i'm telling you i don't like myself right now. why am i allowing myself to act like this. i want to stop but it just bothers me that she has the upper hand. my dh doesn't know about these events. by the way, we are going to family court next week so i can file for CS. we both agreed it would be best for me to file before she does. my dh called family court and they told him we did not need a lawyer involved if there isn't any disagreement to pay CS. my dh said he would agree to pay the hightest amount because once the amount is set, they will not be able to reduce CS once it is in effect. therefore if he has to support OC the CS being paid to me will not change thus leaving less for her to receive. (AT LEAST THIS IS WHAT I'M HOPING--I GOING ON BYSTANDERS ADVICE -LOL) my dh is still not seeing the OW or OC for now but one truly never knows. I just decided to take the necessary precautions for my own family. got a little long winded, sorry.

lemon,<BR> What state are you in? In many states cs are adjusted once new cs's are fikled for. The first to file usually gets a larger slice but it usually does get ajusted. Pleasesstoppushing the ow buttons I did and because of that the ow made sure that EVERYONE found out about affair and oc long before i wanted people to know including family members.<BR>

Lemon, <BR>Sorry for the late response, but I too have done things I regret after dday. I wrote ow a letter telling her all the pain she has cause me and my children, also a few things that probably I would be ashamed to reread now. I did let my H read the letter before giving it to her. I also just a week ago had my first meeting with ow. Sometimes it amazes me what they are thinking. There were no tears or shouting, but a few very tense moments where emotions were ready to erupt. Believe me there have been some very difficult times in my life, but dealing with the pain of an A is the most overwhelming thing I have ever had to deal with, and believe me I have said some very hurtful things I am very ashamed of. But that didn't mean that I didn't mean what I said.<BR>Tina

Lemonpie,<P>Sorry I have been late responding also...but I think you already know what you need to do. Take back the control. Do not allow her to rule your emotions anymore. We all say things we regret, but remember every time you talk to her or email her you are involving her in your life again. That thought right there is what keeps me from contacting ow/oc. I would keep the emails she sent in case you need them in the future. My ow sent a whacked letter one time and i was soooo mad when i found out H had thrown it away. That was my only solid proof as to her state of mind. Keep that proof. Also, I think I would tell H about what has happened so if he finds out later he wont be so shocked. I know you owe him NOTHING, but try to remember that you must rebuild this relationship on trust and that trust and honesty has to come from both ends. It really stinks to always have to be the one to set the example, but as someone said earlier...think of your kiddos. <P>As to reponses like BBB, they are just bitter. Who cares what they think.<P>And Gem,<P>I just love your little poem. I think it should be posted on that stupid sub-section of gloryb, where those pathetic poems are. Just MHO.<P>God bless and keep all of you...<BR>bw

whatif, i live in PA