HEY!!!! I thought *I* was the twiisted sister????<p>I only found out about my oc when she was 18 months old...I don't know HOW or WHAT I would have thought if I had to endure a whole pregnancy wondering "what next???"<p>I do know that this is a great forum to post at, vent, and genuinely work out issues so you can move on. Emotions run high. I admit I was mad at God when I found out in the beginning...but thank God He's there to pick up the pieces after I yelled at HIM (GOD) and hold me and still love me.<p>These emotions are very powerful when you find out not only your H had an affair...but a child on top of it? Something that stabs your very heart and soul??? I don't hold anybody accountable upon finding out for what they say...the emotions are so raw. So surreal. So awful and unless you experienced it...then don't judge.<p>Walk a mile in our shoes sometime....I wouldn't even wish this pain on MY OW and she's engaged!!!<p>Oh well.....I can see how far you have come Julia since the beginning and I'm glad to see the Lord at work in your life...Thank God we have a God that continues to work in our lives and change us daily.<p>Hugs,
Twiisty

Distinguish, <p>Yes, i do know what it is like to endure a miscarriage.<p>Yes, i am a child of God, much to your dismay (and if you are saved, i am not too thrilled about being in Heaven with you someday, but i am not going to argue who God has chosen).<p>I am no better than the terrorists, the Bible tells me that, and neither are you. <p>I am an innocent wife in this matter. No i am not perfect by far, i have made my fair share of mistakes, too. I am sure you are just another ow out for a meal ticket and betted on somebody's h choosing you, but you were WRONG. He probably went back to his w as soon as the blinders came off and you were exposed for who you are. I love my h, he loves me. Go ruin another marriage, you won't touch this one, it is NOW guarded by GOD. <p>Your info is old news, do you realize you replied to a post that is 4 months old? I have matured and no longer post so angrily, but i would be lying if i didn't want this baby gone. And my h feels the same way. It is in God's hands. <p>I don't know where you get off posting for the first time and targetting me. You are the crazy one, in my opinion. Yea, the fetus is doing just fine (glory be to God). But unfortunately, there are consequences to sin and the ow is finding that out, and unfortunately, the child will NOT know his father - h's choice...again, consequences. <p>Go ahead and continue to bash me or anyone else here at this site and soon enough God will show you how He feels about condemning.<p>[ January 24, 2002: Message edited by: mnca6713julia3 ]</p>

Julia<p>It is completely and entirely normal to wish unspeakable things in the beginning of discovery. The pain is so horrendous, Betrayed Spouses can hardly breath or survive the glaring light of day or the tormenting nights. None of us have to apologize or feel badly for our knee jerk reactions once we hear the words that change our lives forever, battle the confusion of how something so despicable can happen to us and feel the seering pain of betrayal.<p>It's OK to think these things, say these things and post them here. This is what the forum is for...to vent our rage, confusion, express our grief and to apologize to no one for how we feel. If the OW would have aborted, no one would say a word about a child being dead...even the OW's...so why is this any different.<p>The crashers who come here to spew their sactimonious crap onto us as if it is our problem or our sin that we don't embrace their sin and their ugliness are just sour old prunes stuck in their myopic little world, having no clue whatsoever what it is like to loose everything and then be forced to pay extortion for the next twenty years.<p>OF COURSE! Of course, we all wished the same things...God knows this! And He who matters understands our pain and confusion and completely forgives us...so don't be concenred with the idiocy that comes across these forums from people who don't belong here and are looking to create disharmony.<p>What is so hilarious to me is how these idiots come here to try to make us feel guilty about their [censored] spawn. I couldn't care less about them and neither should any of us. Why the hell should we care about any OC more than we care about the kid down the block? <p>None of us have any ill will to any OC even after the horrible things we all say after discovery. It's just venting for Cat's Sake.<p>What you felt, what I felt, what most of us here felt was very real at the time and normal under the circumstances. Big deal.<p>Dear Saint Distinguish<p>Tell someone who gives a [censored]<p>Catnip =^^=

Looks like the hellish gates of GloryB have opened and the sewage is seeping out.<p>Get a life ladies. Don't be pissed that no one here particularly cares about you or as catnip put it... your "spawn".<p>It's OW like you that keep the vile taste in our mouths. Just think... if you left us alone we may one day grow to love all OW of the world and plan a love fest to show it. <p>Spew you trash somewhere else.<p>Z.

Zebrababy,
I wasn't trying to offend you but that's NOT trash, it's the pure truth. I'm not from gloryb and I am not an OW. I am someone who KNOWS the truth. People come here and only tell what they WANt you to know about the situation. they don't tell the whole truth.

Rain,<p>I guess my post hit your right on the head.<p>How exactly do you assume I was addressing you in my post???<p>Perhaps you identify with being the type i described??<p>Z.

um NO. Your post came directly after mine---that's it.

Hello everybody,<p>I have been monitoring this little dicussion for sometime now but never have written in before. There is somethings i would like to say but first i need to tell my story. I am Julia's H. Now im sure some of you may be booing or itching to tear me a new one, go ahead but listen to what i have to say first.<p>I accept full responsiblity for what i did and know there is no one else to blame but myself and my weakness. Take my weakness and add too it someone that i shall say was needy and oppurtunistic and we get the present day results. I mistakenly put faith in birthcontrol for the one time she coulda got preg( ow said she was on the shot). I know God punished me for the arrogance and pride that was filling my head at the time. <p>I would like to invite such people like Distinguish, Rainstorm77, Whateveruwant to post their stories. I know some of you have said that you are not ow; what then is your purpose for being on the site?<p>Unless you would like to share with us i dont think you have any business criticizing Julia, or anyone else for that matter.<p>Whichever one of you so sagely stated that it doesnt sound like i want to work on the marriage you are sadly mistaken. I love my wife whole heartedly and we are going to get through this. I admit i have made many mistakes along the way but i dont think any recovery is perfect and instantaneous. Julia,along with some of the other bs deserve a lot of credit and respect for how hard they have been fighting. Broken wings my heart and prayers go out to you.<p>I might be criticized because i have made a decision not to be involved in oc life. You nay-sayers think that i probably ran outta fear but you do not realize that it is out of committment to my wife and respecting her and our marriage covenant.<p>I accept the consequences of what i did,am prepared to pay cs pending dna, and realize that im not the only guilty party. OW needs to accept her share of responsiblity for ruining her own life. I am accepting mine.<p>Thank you to all that have supported Julia [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Thank you from a repentant husband

David,
Thankyou. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I always appreciate words from BS husband/wife.<p>My own H won't post but often when I ask his opinion will tell me what to post.(he doesn't use a computer).<p>May you and Julia continue to pull together and appreciate each other always.<p>love
Debi

David,
THANK you for posting...feel free to continue to post...we could use more perspectives from your point of view...I'm trying to get MR. TWIISTY to post...but I'm not sure he likes that handle...he will probably make up a cool one of his own! (Keep your fingers crossed)<p>Again, thanks for sharing, I know that would make Julia know that you two are going somewhere....forward.....to a healed future....<p>Stand strong, stand firm in each other's grasp and handle OW together as a team. <p>I'll be thinking about posting more later Julia... [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Praying and thinking of y'all and really encouraged to see your H post!<p>Hugs,
Twiisty [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

Wow! Davidv2, I think it's great that you have decided to speak up here. As a betrayed wife whose husband is now in the process of divorcing me after three years of him living with a very controlling, egocentric, vindictive OW, I, too appreciate hearing your side of things.<p>What most of those who come here to bash and demean us have forgotten is that as the most innocent of all of the adults involved in these situations, we have no obligation to anyone but our own families. Most of us who harbor ill feelings toward OW do so because we need to direct our anger and hurt toward someone - and it is certainly counterproductive to the recovery of a marriage with this level of damage for us to direct it toward our spouses. We are sharing feelings that at times make us wonder about ourselves - are we normal to feel this intensity of emotion? And we find by talking to others here in this reasonably anonymous environment that YES! We ARE normal! These feelings are not the kind of thing we can share with our family and friends - the anonymity of the forums protects us and we can vent in the same fashion that a pressure cooker must vent ... or explode and hurt everyone around us.<p>Leave us alone here. You are doing no one any good by your intrusions - in fact, you only reinforce our beliefs in the selfishness of OW. Unless you are here to offer support (and NO, I don't believe that the only way to support people is by agreeing with them - there are ways of KINDLY and GENTLY disagreeing) or to GET support, then, just go away. This is NOT a "public" forum - the administrators of it have created it for a very specific purpose, and your posts do not belong here.<p>Davidv2, thank you again for your post. You are a good man who apparently is working hard to right a wrong that you have done. It would be wonderful if MORE people who have made these kinds of mistakes did what you are doing to admit them and take responsibility for them. I wish you and Julia much happiness and love.

Julia,<p>You got sucked in. Right or wrong, good or bad, your feelings are your own. You don&#8217;t owe anyone an explanation, nor do you need validation for feeling what you feel.<p>OB1