This is disgusting. Why does it not surprise me?<shaking my head>

Because , perhaps, you are an OW trying to get a look-in on things.<p>Go away back to your gloryb board will you?<p>Obviously you are one of "them".<p>Satans chosen.<p> With a soul created in the depths below.<p>Must be or you wouldn't be shaking your empty head!!!<p>SHOO patient one... He'll never come to you no matter how patient you are ha! ha! ha ! [img]images/icons/blush.gif" border="0[/img]

May as well close this one too, Xarelel.<p>Couldn't resist. Sorry <p>Love,
Debi<p>[ November 13, 2001: Message edited by: gemini1 ]</p>

Patient1

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>This is disgusting. Why does it not surprise me?<shaking my head> <hr></blockquote>

You're right this is pretty disgusting. I wonder however why you are bringing up a post that is so volatile and over a month old?

I do nothing much but lurk on MB anymore. I became familiar with this part of the forum months ago when there were various intruders here causing problems. Since I am an old timer, I keep my eye on this forum. I guess I feel a little protective. Maybe because I feel so blessed that I never had to deal with these issues that the members here do? My heart aches for them and I hate to see so much turmoil here when all everyone needs is a safe place to come to.

I'm not picking on you Patient1. but when I hit your profile and used the option of viewing most recent posts, I see that you have not posted on this particular forum since July? When I searched further I saw that you were one of the members who came here and posted in April when the biggest mess that I have seen started on this very part of the forum. You and I actually posted on the very same threads. Have you come here in hopes of helping with the discord that has been going on here as of late? Are you dealing with a similar situation regarding an OC? Any situation dealing with an OC?

Regarding BonnieBB and her abrasive words, well I have never posted to her myself before. I usually take the stance that if I don't agree or question the validity of a poster, I just ignore them. I must say in her defense and in the "spirit" of MB that currently BonnieBB has reached out for some advise and help on some issues that apparently are very hurtful for her.

Instead of resurrecting threads full of turmoil, wouldn't it be better if we spent our energy on helping her or someone else on this whole site who really needs some good concrete advise and encouragement.

I have to add that if the site had been like this when I registered or even the two months I lurked before I got to courage to register, I'd probably have run in the other direction. That would have been such a shame, since I believe God, this site, the wonderful people here are nearly solely the reason why I am in a recovering marriage.

Patient1 I really am looking forward to hearing your answers to my questions? If you need some help with something then perhaps if not me, someone else may be able to help? If I have misjudged your motivation here, I'm really sorry and there must be one or two members here that can tell you I don't judge people or cause problems. I just worry so much about this particular part of our forum. I hate to see it go all amuck again.<p>[ November 13, 2001: Message edited by: A blessed Samantha ]</p>

gemini<p>you have no idea what you are talking about. <p>samantha<p>I felt the need to express my disgust. Some people's history disgust me. This disgusts me. That's all.

Patient1<p>Hi, should I be ducking? I sure hope not. I'll get back to this/you in a moment.<p>Gemini1<p>You are off mark here and when I was posting my previous thread, or at least while I was composing it, you hadn't posted yet. Patient1 is not an OW. She has been a member of this site for quite a while. I'll leave it up to you to do the research to know what her story is. <p>As I stated in my previous post, she actually came onto this part of the forum when we were all asking for help regarding people who were intruding here and hurting the members of this part of the forum. Her only motive that I could see was to help in that effort. To support the members of this section.<p>Now, back to Patient1. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] I addressed you here for the reasons I stated previously and to try and understand why you posted on this old thread which of course brings it to the top. I hate to see all this anger and fighting here. It is counter productive to the goals of this site. I of course was hoping for a larger explanation and that it would steer this thread in an opposite direction. Guess I failed miserably huh? [img]images/icons/blush.gif" border="0[/img] <p>This is such a sensitive part of the forum. I can't fathom having to deal with these particular issues. Occasionally members come here and are abrasive (the whole site in general) or are augmentative and end up picking up the wonderful loving vibes of this site and joining in appropriately and becoming huge advocates of MB and it's principles. <p>I would hate to see a real BS who is hurting and needing help, turned off by our turning our backs on them because of past offensives. Let's face it, many of us have varying opinions. We all come at this whole infidelity mess from different angles and with different issues that haunt us. Most of us want to be kind, to help and to grace this site with what we feel is right or just. Some times we have to agree to disagree. <p>I too was disgusted by this particular thread. Not the necessarily just the content, but by the amount of hate and anger that is being directed at various members toward one another. I just really want to see this site be supportive and giving. Just like it was when I first arrived here all those many months ago. <p>I hope this thread is laid to rest. Maybe Xarelel will have to lock this one too? I see no purpose in keeping the hostility going at any member. It's totally counter productive. None of us can take back one second of the past. I say maybe it's time we give everyone a carte blanche' for their past errors (I know it's a very gentle word considering) and deal with today and what gets posted from this day forward? <p>If I am out of line or not making any sense, then maybe I should not have come here to post again and go back to my lurk dome? Probably the better idea.<p>Peace Patient1 I hope there are no hard feelings between us?<p>Gemini1 It's always best to do our homework before we make a judgment and proceed to post it. Just food for thought. I've done it myself on occasion in my life, it usually ends up hurting someone, including myself.<p>Love to one and all, can't we all just be friends?

Like Samantha, I come here off and on to offer support and check in on the most tender area of the forum.<p>I do not have OC issues, although I certainly could have, since my ex-H cheated many times with many women, and one woman in particular joked and called her unborn child "Little David"... I half-expect to hear of that child showing up on ex's doorstep one day. <p>I feel very strongly about the sanctity of this particular area of MB.<p>I am one of those "if we all had a candle what a bright world it would be" people. Okay, I'm obnoxious about it. My life is so riddled with litter that I search out places of peace. This used to be a place of peace. No longer, I'm sure many of you will agree.<p>I know it's sappy, but I do wish we could all just "get along"... especially here, in the forum where pain surpasses all other types of infidelity. <p>I do not pretend to know what I would have done had one of my ex's affairs produced a child, or if my affair had produced a child (one time hop in the sack, no protection, so I was the stupidest 40 year old on earth -- thank GOD I didn't get pregnant or any diseases)... but I do know this... I would try to deal with all parties with as much dignity and compassion as I could muster.<p>I do that all over MB, and for the most part, have been treated the same way.<p>I'm sorry, Xerelel for bringing this to the top again, but I wanted to support some lovely ladies and gentlemen who need it right now.

Patient1 oops!!!! Meaculpa....so very sorry....geeze...I'm not usually like that. It's just that the thread had me going and BBB has said some rude things to me in the past! As far as finding your story, I couldn't. I searched but didn't find it.<p>A Blessed Samantha,You are right...I DIDN'T do my homework! Can't say it won't happen again but I am truly sorry .
A few things went wrong that day and I mis-placed my anger.<p>Hope you all forgive me as I eat my words...gulp..gulp...burp...gulp!!!!<p>love
Debi

I think we can feel whatever we want to feel about ow and oc. That doesn't mean we don't hold our husband's responsible? Why does it bother you for someone to feel that way about ow or oc? I can't imagine myself being friends w/ow? You can and should be civil but I wouldn't be her friend.

just being a good person and bringing it on up up up

up up up

Just being a good person and bringing it up??!!<p>Do you honestly feel good about that?! You have alot of time on your hands! Let it go......

Enough. Please! Enough!<p>Please let old posts die, this is only bringing turmoil here. Total unnecessary and very unproductive.