<small>[ January 20, 2003, 10:37 PM: Message edited by: whatif? ]</small>

whatif, i am soooooo sorry if i have offended you. after i wrote the post, i posted again and said that i was very angry this morning but i have calmed down. i also posted that i realize that the OC is innocent also and i also stated that my hats go off to those who are a part of the oc life. again, i was sooooo upset, angry and hurt this morning, again i apologize to you.

Whoa whatif?. If you know your child is equal to all other children then why get upset at the word [censored]?<P>I used it to inform ow that her child was indeed illegitimate. To perhaps hurt her in the way I have been hurt. I would never call a child that to it's face. Never!<P><BR>If married ow wanted another baby so be it. If she were 1/2 a woman she would have kept it to herself as tiggerjdt has. She would have raised oc as another sibling of her other 3 kids and not upset so very many people's lives in order for her [censored] to have a dad...or rather a failed attempt to coerce my h into leaving me for her and her [censored].<P>I get so angry at people who get upset with a word that DOES mean illegitimate!!!!!<P>Doesn't mean child is any less but allows ow to remember to back off as h is only dad and they aren't married. Quit trying to insert herself just because of her baby. Had there not been a child it would have long been over and she knew that from the start! That is the ONLY reason she had baby, to continue to have a tie to him.<P>She's not moral as she had an abortion in HS and told my h that's something she could never do again. Guess what? We found out she was pregnant w/another man's child 4 years ago and again aborted! Hmmm...maybe he didn't turn her on as much as my h did?<P>Anyway, I use the term to piss ow off...guess I pissed you off too. Wasn't ever refering to your child!<P>If you're offended so be it.<P>I'll leave here.<P>It is now and always shall be a [censored] baby. Form non-married parents!!! Sheeze!!!!!<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

Why is anyone picking on gemini1? All she did was give a definition to a word. If anyone dislikes, or likes the definition, too bad. It was an accurate definition. It is not slang, and defines the meaning very well. It has been used in books for centuries. <P>I don't feel offense should be taken, nor a need to apologize, except maybe to gemini1.<P>Perhaps we should be a little less sensitive to facts, and more sensitive to each other.<P>ember

again, my intentions were not to hurt anyone feelings, i am going through a lot right now and i can't take anymore. i have decided to tell my h tonight that we must sit children down and tell them the truth and then he has to leave. if it is meant for us to be together than we will but at this point in time i can't go on like this. i need to be held and loved right now not trying to bring comfort to someone who has betrayed me. thank you all.

<small>[ January 20, 2003, 10:35 PM: Message edited by: whatif? ]</small>

Well whatif?, I also think ow is a bytch..(thanks Catnip for the new spelling)...a dog... a female dog...and has acted as such.<P>I have never ever done one thing to her except befriend her and H/ all the while she and my h were doing the wild thing!!!<P>Like an atomic dog.<P>A female atomic dog.<P>Bites and acts just like one.<BR>Can you tell my fall from grace has been because of MONTHS of bad behavoir by female dog? er ah bytch.<P>She posed as my friend. I owe her nothing as I never took vows w/her.<P>If my H just one time confuses me w/his intentions I will ask God to "show me the way" again! I will only take as much as I can swallow. From what I understand ow can "swallow" alot...guess it's not such a big deal...20 seconds compared to 27 years!!!heh heh heh ....<P><BR>Swallow= baby=ruined lives=recovered family=ousting ow forever inc. baby (sorry, too bad, me vs. him...I take the prize)= everyone isn't a winner= God loves all the sinners who ask forgiveness and begin to follow his ways=ow did not ask and cannot ask as she's in a delusional state about H and their baby=my h wanting to erase her and baby from his memory!=sorrow for all involved....<P>God knows ME and the holy spirit knows I am not usually vindictive...I have just put up w/enough and will never deal as second best again! So help me God!<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....

I was just sitting here thinking how sorry I feel for BB's husband. She speaks so nasty of the WS and the words hold such venom. God forbid if he ever disagree with her "gospel", she'd spit on him. <P>Unlike healthy marriages that work through disagreements!<P>Sounds like she has a POJA as long as it's according to what SHE enthusiatically wants.<P>Sounds pretty unhealthy to me.... just like she appears... unhealthy.<P>Does everyone here sleep well with the decisions you've made in your lives??? I do.<P>BB's husband must sleep in fear that his hateful wife will always DICTATE the course of their marriage. Pretty sad I think.<P>Open mind / Open heart. Gem... she just can't "Imagine".<P>Z.<P>------------------<BR>Zebra Baby ...<P>Lord, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

I've been thinking about adding my opinion for awhile. At one point I didn't think I could respect my H if he didn't have anything to do with OC. But when you are dealing with a crazy and deranged exOW who only wants to hurt you and doesn't care if your children are with you. You have to rethink your position and that's what I did I put my family first! My children having a healthy childhood whether it's with my H and me as a couple or apart. My children come first.<P>When does the BS and WS say enough? Does the exOW's have to take responsibility for their actions? How many W's are standing beside their H as they fight for visitation once exOW realize the WS wants their W's and regret their actions? I'm sick of feeling like we BS's have to defend our hurt and anger. I thought this forum was a place to vent. A place to say all the things I won't voice or can't tell anyone else. I don't agree with what everyone post or says. But I do understand why they are feeling the way they feel. I don't think they are wrong for venting here. This forum is about BS and a few WS supporting each other. This is only my opinion.<P>Unsure<BR>

Well just like every situation is different, so is everyone's reactions. If you choose to have contact with OC or if you choose to raise OC as your own or if you choose not have anything to do with anyone (WS, OC, OW, OM, etc) is entirely up to you. Debating about what is right or wrong is useless because everyone has to decide what works for them. What one person decides may not be what another would choose. Degrading a person for their choice does no good so what's the point. Everyone here has had their share of pain and doubt and they sure as hell don't need anymore from the people who are supposed to be helping. <P>Voice your opinion but don't degrade the choices made by others.