Topic says it.<P>The question is, does the law consider my W's child automatically (if we are married when the child is born) to be mine? Of course, if we show up at the hospital and we want it that way, we could just list me as father on the birth certificate. But if W doesn't want it listed that way, but we are still married, what's the deal?<P>-AD

Hmmm... Your wife could probably put anything on that birth certificate as she would not necessarily need the bio father's permission, whether or not it's you...<P>I put the bio father MM's name on my OCs birth certificate without permission. Looking back tho, I probably should have asked if it was okay... Hindsight is 20/20, right? Oh well...<P>Nevertheless, there are people out here who can help you with your question. Hopefully, your wife will decide to raise the child as yours and you can recover from the A and be a happy family again. <<<<HUGS>>>>

Dear AD,<P>I know that my H is listed as the father on Abbi's birth certificate. We have not, and do not plan on telling XOM ever about Abbi, so unless he finds out some how, her "parentage" will never be questioned and my H will always be her "Daddy" in every way that counts. That is something that you will need to discuss w/your wife, and decide together how to deal w/OM.<P>Tigger

Hi Abandoned Dad,<P>Sorry you find yourself asking these painful<BR>questions. Try checking out the presumption<BR>of paternity laws for your state...they vary<BR>from state to state. If you and your wife<BR>are willing to raise the child as your own,<BR>then om never needs to know, IMHO.<BR>Hopefully, you wont need to worry about it.<BR>Take care!

AD,<P>Briefly, the law considers you the father of any children born of the marriage. This is true in virtually every state in the US, and these laws are called "assumed paternity" or "presumption of paternity." So the simple answer is that if you don't do anything, and the OM doesn't do anything, the child is automatically yours after some period of time. This time is usually two years, but it depends on the state. <P>Some states allow an OM to litigate paternity proactively. That means if the OM wants to be legally declared the father, he can file a lawsuit to establish this. In doing so, he will also be ordered to pay "child support" to the tune of about 25% of his net pay for the next 20 years. That's enough of a financial disincentive to keep most OMs away. On the other hand, some states won't allow an OM to litigate paternity under any circumstances if the H doesn't consent. You'd have to check.<P>Now, my own view is that if you don't have any children and your W is pregnant by an OM, you should do everything within your power to legally deny paternity. And I mean up to and including divorce. The reason is that by allowing the "assumed paternity" laws to cuckold you, you risk a huge "child support" judgment in the event your marriage later ends. The risk under the circumstances simply isn't worth it. All the talk of "raising the child as your own" will seem hollow if you later get divorced and your ex-W uses the "child support" to buy the OM a new truck while telling the child that you're nothing but a "fake daddy." And I know of cases where exactly this has happened.<P>In my view, you should formally deny paternity and see where your relationship with your W goes from there. You shouldn't have to risk hundreds of thousands of dollars to stay in a marriage - and especially because its your W that cheated, not you.<P>Bystander

Thanks for the info.<P>It hasn't happened yet, but I just wanted to know.<P>-AD