Ok, this question if mainly for the ladies out there, but all opinion are welcome.

I am now divorced and interested in starting to date. I have always been a people type person and enjoy being around people.

I have friends, most of whom are married. When we go out I am the third wheel amongst my friends and their wifes, even though they are long established friendships and might I add, some very loyal friends, I feel uncomfortable.

I would love to start dating, but it has been over 16 years since I have done so.

I tried one date through the internet, to call it a nightmare is a understatement, that was my first and last time for that.

So, here is the question, where does a guy that does not drink and frequent bars, other than to watch a game at a sports bar, meet women now days?, what is the best approach to finding someone that is not into head games and looking for a soulmate on the 1st date?.

I am far from being dog meat, so I've been told by others, am neat in appearance, have moral standards which relate to being loyal, courteous, honest and not CAPABLE of dating several women at the same time to stroke my ego and am to this point financially secure.

So what is the problem????, wish I could answer that one.

If you are the religious sort then church would be a good place to start.

If you do the things that you like doing you will meet people that also like those things. For example, if you like bowling you could join a bowling league. There would be single women there that like bowling too.

Check your newspaper for local events to attend.

Our county has low-cost adult education classes for cooking and other stuff like that. That could be fun and you'd learn something new.

Take all of these ideas with a grain of salt because I met my husband the old-fashioned way (in a bar, although he like to tell his mother we met at church <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ).

Dear Rookie, (Reader Caution: Contains exlicit ideas)

I am not single, but I like the idea of the women at the Science of Mind churches. You can find the churches listed on the internet. The Science of Mind church teaches partioners to pray for others. Since my wife has such diverse interests from mine, it would be refreshing to have someone who had been trained to be supportive in prayer for a partner. I took the Foundations course there. It's a good way to know people better. Check out the first class, if someone seems interesting, sign up. Science of Mind Church Directory Address Directory

I like the Untitarian church because the women ther are often more along the lines of my poltical philosophies.

Any self-improvement course would be a good place to meet a woman, I think. Because, if a woman can admit that she might be able to improve hereslf, I think that indicates a good chance the woman may be able to compromise with you. There are a wide variety of self-improvement courses. The Dianetcs Centers and the Church of Scitology has flexible hours. You could sign up for a cheap course, or some are free, and check the course room out at different times of the day and night, to see who is around. They occasinally have free video tape viewings, wher you can meet singles. I have recently learned how to do links. Dianetics Center Listings

I agree that meeting someone in person is entirely differnent from over the phone, or over the internet. Chemistry is just different.

Happy hunting

Quipper
Husband of 28 years, raised 2 challening kids, still struggling

<small>[ November 22, 2003, 04:14 PM: Message edited by: Quipper ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Quipper:
<strong> Happy hunting

</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hunting?? Hunting? HUNTING???? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

What can of word is that to use...unless you consider women to be "PREY"? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Quipper,

Your verbage is getting to be more and more disturbing IMHO. Exactly what position do you place women in? Are they prey? Are they game to be pursued and then captured?

"Gonna go hunt me a woman"....<fade to maniacal laughter> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Women are Gifts...you would be wise to remember that. This isn't a "Tallyho" kind of thing.

committed

Dear Committed,

Did you ever hear of House Hunting?

Thanks for your reaction, though. I will put a cautionary note on my post.

Quipper

rook:

What do you like 2 do for fun? Sierra club hikes? Saving whales? Underwater arc welding?

You should do what makes you feel comfortable and happy. And if you shift your focus from "needing" 2 get back in2 dating and on2 something you simply enjoy for you, you'll find a companion before you know it.

Dianetics? Well, if that boats your float.

Hunting? Nah, even in the best of meanings (if there is one), it's forced.

Enjoy yourself, and somebody will choose 2 enjoy herself with you.

-ol' 2long

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Quipper:
<strong> Dear Committed,

Did you ever hear of House Hunting?

Thanks for your reaction, though. I will put a cautionary note on my post.

Quipper </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yes, I have heard of house hunting <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> ...I have never heard of "woman hunting"..unless it was in a predatory kind of way.

You can hunt deer....
you can hunt for houses...
you can hunt for cars.....
you DON'T hunt for a Wife.

Rookie,
Sorry for the threadjack...that word just isn't the right one to use and I didn't want it to go without speaking up.

2long had some good suggestions for you. Put yourself out there in a positive light and it will be noticed by others around you.

committed

Like I said, all OPINIONS were welcomed, some can be pretty entertaining.

Agree, have to start getting out, when married was a house body, too many chores, and with a job was too mouch to really develop outside interests.

Would like to hear from some of the ladies as to what THEY are looking for, I would use the term, know your prey, but that subject has all ready been beaten to death...lol.

Hello!
May be you find something at my site:
web page

Good Luck!

I think if I were looking for a mate, I'd be faced with the exact same dilemma.
In college, while dating around, I always felt like I was trying too hard. Turns out, when I stopped trying and just focused on doing things I enjoyed, he found me. I met my guy at a women's basketball game...I had no clue the man of my dreams would be there...I was just enjoying my evening doing something I liked to do.
I like the suggestions of getting involved in whatever public hobbies interest you. Obviously, if reading a book in your home on a rainy day is your favorite hobby, you won't get too far.
Just go live life. Let life happen. She's out there. Just do what you like to do and keep your eyes peeled <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Smile

'allo Rookie,

I'll go along with the notion of just getting out there and doing what you enjoy - I've had 3 g/f since my WW declared her betrayal to me back in July, 2 of whom I met just doing what I wanted to do and one through a Web dating site (whom I'm still seeing).

I'll also go along with the idea of getting in to the mindset of not needing a partner - It was when I became happy in my own skin that things started to fall in to place and I met the first g/f.

Our local paper lists things that are going on and I used to scan through that to see if I fancied trying any of the things out, but there are also coffee bars, sports clubs, shopping......anywhere. I really have found that you can meet a partner absolutely anywhere. And I'm a short ar$e (5'5") so if I can find it easy, I'm sure you could ;o)