By today the results should all be in, and we just mailed out the balance of the amount owed so the results will be mailed to everybody by next Friday...Lord willing....<BR>This is absolutely killing me. DO I want to know? (Of course...) there is the element of doubt to the paternity...BUT.....all these thoughts are streaming through me. *ugh*<BR>Regardless, it will be good to know. I am annoyed though at the people at the dna testing place. My H gave permission for me to discuss the case etc. (I was the one who paid for the darn thing to begin with) and they send all the info to his place of employment, so my H had to ask once again to send the stuff to our home as he isn't "hiding" anything...the secretary/person who handled our case is annoying with her, "hush hush" attitude like he is trying to hide it from me...sheesh!<BR>The thing that makes me feel better is the fact that it is annoying him too. He wants me involved in all of this. We are trying to make a better life for ourselves.<BR>anyways, thanks for letting me vent. I will probably get something in the mail by Friday if ms. hush-hush will actually read my H's request-- IN WRITING-- and send the results to our home and our attorney and to the OW.<BR>Time will tell......anyways, I told H that if OC is his, he owes me a steak dinner and if OC isn't his, I owe him one...so either way, we both get a steak dinner out of this...when and if I ever can eat again...lost 60 pounds over this junk...<BR>My son turned 6 mos old today...sniff sniff...they grow soooooo fast.......<BR>Thanks for listening..er...reading!!!<BR>Hugs,<BR>Twiisty

Twiisty,<P>Good Luck! i hope things work out for you.<P><BR>Unsure

Twiisty,<BR>At least the OW has agreed to a paternity test. I my case OW alleges that my H is the father of her child, however, will not cooperate by taking the child to the health facility so tissue samples can be obtained.<P>I have a feeling that we will have to go to family court in order to get a court order which will make her comply. She is some selfish piece of work! My H believes that if the child is his, he will take an active part in his life. He is has stopped all contact with the OW and OC, (17 months old) until paternity can be established. We are at a stalemate now.

Twisty, Gem is right. Be glad OW is having the tests done. In hubbys and my case, OW refused, as hubby was already paying CS. We will never know if H is the biological father.<P>It's funny, if I were the OW, I would make darn sure he knew he was the father, if he is. This is another reason we have NO contact.<P>You go figure!<P>ember

twisty, i agree with others, be glad she is taking the test my ow didn't gave my dh the story that if she had to be embarrassed and be finger printed then they had to get the test done together. i refused to let that happen. did you use the diagnostic center for you DNA. if so, the same thing happen to me. i paid for the test--i called and made all the arrangements but ask women not to send mail to my home with the centers name on it. wouldn't you know-when i called to see if OW showed up--they had the nerve to tell me they couldn't talk to me--i told the women to go check her file and see who's paying--only then did she talk to me. hope it works out for you.

G'mornin All,<BR>My H stated to me this morning that he believes that the OW refuses to have the test done for fear that we might try to obtain custody of the OC. We have already paid for half cost for DNA test (not at all inexpensive!) and this was done in March. We have until March 2002 before we lose the money.<P>I suggest that he inform her of his/our intentions to escalate this issue to family court. Therefore she either gets test done on her own or by court order, and if results are positive, we will request either joint custody or court ordered visitation. Sure, I know that court will also assign CSP, but, this is what can happen when you have sex outside of marriage.<P>The other alternative is to pay for an 'at home DNA kit' where you collect the cheek cells and send them in sterile containers provided to DNA center. At least we will know if this child is my H's or not.<P>I think that she may not want the test done because she is not sure if my H is the father or not. But I am the BW, and its more comfortable for me to think this way.

Gem,<P>IMO, what you should do is try and get a DNA sample from the child and run a test without the OW knowing about it. If it comes back negative, jump ugly all over her in court - go to family court demanding a test, and when it comes back negative file civil fraud charges against her. If it comes back positive, file for joint custody with as much time as possible. <P>Bystander

Bystander,<BR>Thanks for the advice; thats what my H is in favor of. However, he will have to contact the OW and plan for a visit w/OC at a time when she is not home (her mom provides child care while she works) going against his vow of 'no contact' until she gets the paternity test done. I really doubt that she is concerned with anyone else, selfish to point of destroying life as my family knew it, and even denying the child the security of knowing and loving his biological father. <P>Yes, I plan to 'jump all over her' sometime in the near future, regardless of the paternity test. I have been patient and pretty quite over the past 9 months. My agner was so great that I did not want to come close to her for fear of my reaction. However we will meet face to face real soon.