Ok, for those curious...<P>I am in a situation that many here will probably disapprove of. Amanda as moved back into my house. She is not divorced yet but is in the process. I am not helping her with that situation. She lives at my house and for all intent and purposes chooses to act like she is married to me. She wears her engagement ring. She was wearing the wedding band but I put it up when she took it off to take a shower.<P>Personally I am rolling with the flow. I am trying to enjoy the "good times" that we are having right now without getting completely sucked in case something happens. I don't completely trust her of course. I take everything she says and does with a grain of salt. I'm sure if she up and left tomorrow I would be hurt but I think I would be able to handle it.<P>Like I said I know some won't approve but the kids are happy and that in itself makes me happy. And yes I have thought about what it would do to the kids if she left again, and are we just building their hopes. Answer is I don't know. I hope that doesn't happen, at least not any time soon.<P>So there's the skinny on my current situation. For what it's worth. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Dear Paul,<P>I'm sure I'm not alone in my initial reaction when I read your post... something along the lines of ... "yep, thought so"... so, no, you sure didn't shock me any.<P>Whether I approve or not doesn't matter a lick, and I certainly WILL NOT judge you... clearly, you always loved your W, and you also feel that her 2nd marriage was not binding, nor valid... there are others like you, Frank (PLEASE HELP) is one. He is remarrying his wife after a similiar situation (although she did an annulement and divorce, I believe). I wished him peace and a renewed marriage and a new beginning, and I would like to be able to with the same to you and Amanda.<P>But still, I am worried about your heart being crushed into a kazillion pieces. Amanda has NOT shown you that she is a changed woman... why is she wearing the engagement ring, and why did you have to hide the wedding ring? If she seriously thought she made a mistake and was willing to come back and try, why didn't she give those rings back to her H, or throw them away herself? <P>Is she in counseling, Paul? Are you? This is sooooooo deeply troubling to me... you guys need HELP to navigate this VERY VERY VERY rocky road she created. Please, please, get some help with this.<P>Paul, I have SUCH a soft spot in my heart for you. You are so sweet, and yet, maybe you remind me of my ex, who is such a tormented man. I can't help him, so I'll help you... I really don't have any idea.<P>What I do know is this: Amanda needs to understand the gravity of her decisions and she does NOT at this time. You rescued her, yet again.<P>Paul, be VERY CAREFUL with that precious hear of yours -- PLEASE.<P>I'll be praying for you and your family, and I send my love,<p>[ October 19, 2001: Message edited by: Nyneve ]

Clarification...She is wearing the ring I gave her. She wears the engagement ring from our marriage. She never had an engagement ring from the other one.

Okay... thank you for that... that does ease my mind a bit.<P>NOW, about that counseling question...

No counseling as of yet. I wouldn't mind it myself. Being this close to Christmas though I doubt that will happen. I'm not poor but I sure flirt with it alot. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]<P>I'm really trying to be careful. You know me though. Usually I'm all out. I am trying to stay reserved without limiting and being unfair to our new "relationship/friendship".<P>I'm doing the one day at a time bit right now, although if things stay on the course they are now then the future will be most pleasant.<P>Keep me in your prayers that the Lord may keep me in the center of His will.