It didn't rule my H out...95.5%...I want to go on a rampage right now. I did kick two holes on our bedroom wall to complement the ones my H punched and broke his hand about 7 weeks ago in an argument with me.<BR>I am enjoying a nice cold heineken right now as I type this. <BR>H tells me this doesn't change what we planned to do. I don't know what to believe anymore.<BR>I opened the envelope, walked into the room where he was sleeping and said, "congratulations a**h***, you're a father."<BR>I want to kick him out. I want to leave. I know things will go up and down.<BR>when I have time I will post more.<BR>I hate everybody. I hate that tramp. <BR>I hate H right now.<BR>I am angry and hope to calm down...it does my 6 month old son and almost 2 year old no good to see me like this. I should have expected this.<BR>But there is always that slim chance...well.....not for us.<P>I hate both of them right now.<P>Twiisty [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img]

(((((Twiisty))))) I am *so* sorry!!!! You sound like you are in so much pain!!! <P>We too need to have a DNA test, but I'm afraid what it'll do to me if the results come back positive. Nobody else really wants to know, except for me. <P>We can talk more later maybe. I really feel for you. Is there any way that you can get out of the house for a while without the children? Go sit outside or take a walk? <P>I'm probably going to be in your shoes in a couple of weeks [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]

Twiisty,<P>I am sorry to hear the results point your H's way, but I would direct this result to some of our legal beagles, like Bystander or K, there are a few more too. You might want to contact a lawyer because I am thinking that 95% isnt enough for the court to consider him the father. I could be totally wrong, and I pray I do not get hopes up if I am, but it is something to look into....

I read it wrong..it is 99.5%... I was in a fit of rage......<BR>anyways...doesn't make me happy.<BR>Oh well, all I can do is pray that the court would go okay for us.<P>Twiisty

I will pray for you also Twiisty..

[img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]

twisty,<BR>so sorry for your pain. It is bad, bad, bad. Good time to bash fruit! (see my post for newbies) Grief hurts. <P>There will be a tomorrow, and a 10 years from now, and a 50...<P>Jenny<BR>(in recovery 3 years)

I cannot believe that it has been 7 months since I found out that my H was 99.5% the father... Seems so long ago. I had time to prepare myself for the inevitable. I cannot say that the pain ever truly goes away, but it does get more bearable. I don't know if you and H have decided no contact or not. We have contact. For me, in a wierd way, it gives the situation more meaning. Something tangible to deal with. It is not for everyone...DEFINITELY NOT...but I don't regret getting to know OC since birth and growing with him. I will pray for you and your pain. Keep on keeping on.

My H chose no contact as the OW is kind of like the stalker on the movie "Fatal Attraction" and H wanted to give the OC up for adoption, but of course OW said 'No'. She wants to be a part of His life no matter what. She gave the OC our last name without our permission and are praying the court would allow a name change.<BR>It kills me that OC and our first daughter together are two weeks apart.<BR>H wants no contact EVER. The OW made his life hell for two years. It was only a one night stand too, that's the real kicker too.<BR>Thanks,<BR>Debbie [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]

My H and I are awaiting results from his DNA test...they were supposed to be in today, but delayed by a week or so. Will this nightmare go on forever?!!!!OW had been living in another state for last 6 months but is back in our town for a month. Isn't that wonderful. She has not contacted us to let us know that OC was born. We heard about it thru the grapevine. We also heard she named child H's first name. What will she do next?!!!!I am pretty certain that H is OC father, but I am anxious to know how I'm going to respond to the results of the test. Any suggestions on what to do while we wait?

Holes in the wall made me laugh. I'm sorry to giggle during your time of crisis, but I have a lovely set in my bathroom too!<p>
Anyone else like to make swiss cheese out of their dry wall?<p>Z. [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img]

Doors seem to have sprotted lots of holes in them in my kitchen in the last couple of yrs. I just fixed them all 7 in all . [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] . with love flowerseed

twiisty and mbm,
as far as the name goes.....h told MARRIED ow he would fight her in court for our name! for the best interest of the child he should share siblings name.....ta da!!!! atty faxed us baby will use ow MARRIED name!!!!<p>
No court date yet or cs yet......<p>
Atty said being the circumstances of ow being MARRIED w/3 kids a judge would give oc her surname to match others in the best interest of the child.<p>No closure yet.<p>Told H if he wanted contact let me know so I could leave and be in peace. IT IS VERY THREATENING TO HAVE OW CALL W/LOVE MESSAGES TO H!!!!<p>Never want to deal w/her ever!If boy comes on a bike un-attatched to ow I would never turn him away for it's not his OR my fault he exists.<p>OW CHOSE THIS LIFE IN HOPES OF TRAPPING H!!!!!<p>No morals had previous abortion!!!!!!!<p>Pray for her and her H and 3 kids.<p>
love
Debi<p>
ppss H said he'd pick a life w/me anyday over baby...sad eh? Necessary for me to continue on and welcome future grandchild....May God look upon us and give us grace.......

Looking back, I have to laugh at my bedroom wall....H and I don't think the "swiss cheese" decor is really the effect we were looking for.
We had a good talk today and I am reassured that we will continue on as we are...working together.
Our plans haven't changed and I need to focus on that and the four children we have at home with us.
I am feeling better and thank y'all for your kind words and prayers.
I had a really good talk with H tonight. He is planning his "letter" to OW for the attorney to give to her after court is over. It basically states the real truth about the fact that there never was a "them". It is based off of the letter ideas in the Harley's book, "surviving an affair".
I didn't realize how much my H really does love me and really how this was a grave mistake on his part. It is definately a costly one night stand.
We will get through this. I am just sorry that my H chose a stupid way to deal with his depression. instead of having a three night stand....he should have been able to talk to me.
Time will tell. This really grieves my heart, but for the first time in 6 months, I am hopeful. I am praying that God would be merciful to us and allow the name change. We have decided that no contact EVER is the best for all concerned. H doesn't want to ever see OW EVER.
Hugs to y'all
twiisty
(Debbie)

Twiisty,<p>I'm glad things are working out for you. I have the swiss look in my bedroom. H favorite spot. Good luck!<p>Unsure

Man am i smiling. <p>First I'm so glad things are working out and you are feeling better Twiisty. <p>Second.... that wall thing has got me grinning from ear to ear. I never imagined other people had holes in the walls. They are quite amusing when you look at them and realize how mad you were when they were made. I hung a picture of a zebra over the one in the bathroom. Did I mention my husband HATES zebras all over the house? Anyway, I told him if he makes another I'll hang another zebra. Preventive threats!<p>My personal destruction is the dent I put in the bathroom door. You know those metal accordian types. That hurt like hell. I thought I broke my hand. Won't be hitting that again. I'll follow husband's wall lead next time.<p>See ya,
Z. [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img]