<p>[ February 14, 2002: Message edited by: mnca6713julia3 ]</p>

Julia,<P>I was just wondering if you have read up on Plan A/B? Since you are already seperated, you may want to look into the Plan B. The short end of it is that it provides you with a way to save your love for your H, but by having no contact. I know this would be a hard thing to do, but since you are already seperated, you could write a Plan B letter(first read up on what and how to do this), and keep with your plan. Let him know that you still love him, but need to do this to keep your love for him. <P>As for the OW being only 3 mos along and your question about her stomach, has she had other children?(I can't remember that part of your situation) Or is she a small person? Those two things can factor into how big she is/looks at 3 mos. I know though, that even being small to begin with doesn't make you show any earlier. With my first pregnancy, I weighed less than 100 lbs, and I didn't start to show until I was about 4 mos along, and then it was just that my pants didn't fit anymore. But, each of my pregnancies after that, I showed at an earlier point.<P>I wish that I had more to offer you. Definately look into the Plan A/B to see if this is an option for you.<P>Tigger

Dear Julia,<P>You had other motives calling ow. She had other motives telling you these things. She wanted to make you crazy. Granted H isnt helping at all.<P>Tigger took the words right out of my mouth. I really think Plan B is your only option at this point, besides driving yourself more insane. Please read up on it. We will be here to support you. And if you havent, read Surviving An Affair, by Dr Harley. You can order it on this website and its a lot cheaper than at the bookstore. It has a situaion pretty similar in there minus oc. But still I think you can apply it. It has to do with Plan B.<P>So many prayers go out to you...<P>Love<BR>bw

((((((((((Julia)))))))))))))<p>I just wanted to jump in here and let you know that you CAN Plan A while separated by distance or proximity if you so wish. You don't HAVE to go into Plan B just because you left. I just wanted to make that clear, because if you are not REALLY ready for Plan B, it can be very tough.<p>For me, I was getting nowhere with Plan A. He was still with OW, and every time he spoke to me, his voice was dead, so it wasn't WHAT he said, it was HOW he said it. It KILLED me to hear that no-emotion-whatsoever voice coming from him.<p>So coupled with the fact that he is never going to look in my direction anyway with OW around, and the fact that I was fast losing my love for him, and that I NEEDED to protect myself from further pain, I went into Plan B. It has been good for me, but I think I was ready, and I also think that I am prepared for the fact that this could mean the end.<p>Think very carefully about it.<p>Love and light,<p>Jacky