Dear Mills,
I don't often post here because I really don't have any real advice to offer others in our situation, just support.
You and I do have one thing in common, my H also works with the OW. I am 7 months past dday. They have worked together for the past 10 years, she is his assistant. There are 2OC out of this relationship, so I understand your feelings about the working relationship. It is difficult, but not impossible. H has changed many of his habits, no more lunches, or idle chit chat. They are to friendly as the counselor told him, not friends, that is over. It is a struggle for both of them, but H is making every effort. I have had a meeting with the OW and expressed my concerns about them working together, I can see that she is going to be a problem, not understanding why she should have to give up their friendship. It takes time. How am I handling this? Some weeks are better than others. It is tough like you on visiting day, the one OC is 4 months old, so that visit takes place at OW house, she leaves. I have expressed to him that it is time for those visits also to take place at our house. I don't really care how inconvienient it is for OW to bring over the necessary items for the visit. It took me about 5 1/2 months to be even able to have the 3year old to our house. I have agreed to give my marriage and acceptance of OC a try. It is very difficult to walk out on a 28year relationship. 26year married, and two adult children 19 and 22. I also have not told any of my family about this either, so I have a lot of emotion bottled up. So if you ever feel the need to vent, I have two good ears, and plenty of sympathy.
Tina

Tina,
Just wanted you to know that our OC has visited at our house since 1 month old. Sounds like your OW still has some control issues. Your H might want to put his foot down a little harder in that respect. Does OW take OC anywhere at all? She has to get "stuff" together for those trips. Sounds like a bit of bs to me. I am sorry you have to go through the games people play.

Dear Tryin,
To answer your question about OW taking infant anywhere, she manages quite nicely to pack her off every morning to daycare with no problems. I guess I am finally beginning to stand up to H and be more vocal about these upcoming visits. So I would expect that within the next couple of weeks the visits will all take place at our house. OW likes to whine to H about her trusting people to watch OCs, oh please...somehow our two children grew up to become well adjusted, responsible young adults. Surely we can take some credit for that feat.
Thanks for your support.
Tina

Dear Tina,
We have been there and done that with our exOW and OC. I am kinda excited that I actually have some experience to share! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] I guess I am no longer a newbie...
Anyway, our exOW had a trust issue because she didnt "know" me and was nervous. I talked to her directly and told her that I could say all the right things but until she took the leap of faith with me, it would be pointless. Until she picked up OC after he visited with us a couple of times and saw that he was still alive, well, fed, changed, and happy, there was nothing I could do. She would either have to learn to trust me or would eventually end up in a nasty court case over something silly. She has since come around and I visit with OC alone and have him without H there sometimes as well. She doesnt bring up any trust issues now. I will continue to pray that your exOW's heart becomes softer.

By the way,
I pray alot about God working on exOW's heart. He has softened her heart many a time.