We have been paying cs and have had visitation at least every other weekend since oc was 1 month old. Nothing legal, just mutually agreed upon by all parties. When we first sat down to discuss visitation, exow was terrified that we would take oc and run. I gave her my word that would NEVER happen.
So, last Tues. she drops a bomb to H that she is moving to another area about 45 minutes away. She is trying to get a job there and apparently has to have residence in the area. She tells H that she doesnt have a forwarding address or new number yet but will be moving in a week...RED FLAGS!!! [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img]
Anyway, the conversation ended with H making arrangements to get oc this evening to go to a kiddie haunted house and take pictures and video with him in the costume we bought him. Exow says just pick him up from daycare and she'll work some overtime.
We call two other times to verify and make arrangements for next weekend as it is our visitation weekend. Left messages and she never returned them.
Go to daycare today, oc is not there. Daycare says his last day was Friday and he wont be back. Call exow phone and it has been disconnected and changed to a nonpublished number. Called her work and they said she would not be in today. [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img]
H is beside himself. I am so angry, I cant see straight. We called our lawyer and will meet with him Thursday. What the he)) is she doing?
Why would you allow the oc to develop a relationship and then bail? She never said anything about being angry or concerned. In fact, things had been going smoothly for several months.
Part of me thinks that I should not be complaining and I brought this on myself because I agreed to contact and stayed in this marriage. Part of me wants to bail on my H, because I am so tired of this chaos! [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img]
Please pray for us and give any advice. What do we do now?

Tryin,
Wow, I can't believe she fled like that! What a shock!
I must admit however, that if the OW in my situation fled right now (she is 4 mo pregnant), it would be A-OK with me! But I know that you are in a different spot than me so I can try and understand your H and your concerns.
You don't even know where to send the cs then, huh? I wonder if she is just trying to get H attention and turn your lives into chaos again. Stay focused on eachother, draw strength from the Lord. Whatever decisions she makes she will have to answer to God, and it sounds like you and your h have done everything fair where OW is concerned.
Hope everything works out ok, let us know if and when you hear from her.<p>Julia

If I was in your shoes and wanted to keep contact:
1) Find out if she&#8217;s still employed at the same job. If she is,
2) File a petition with the court for joint custody ASAP and,
3) Have her a** served at work!<p>With the established history of active participation, documented by pictures, video, paid for child care, etc., chances are you&#8217;ll get joint legal custody (standard) and probably joint physical (if you push for it). If this is a battle you want to fight, start putting your ducks in a row. Start writing down everything you can remember that involves OW/OC i.e. visitation, payments, conversations. Dates and times are important. From here on out, you will want to keep track of everything that transpires&#8230;better to go overboard than be ill-prepared.<p>Also, see if H, as the concerned father, can probe the childcare provider and employer for any information that may clue you in as to what OW is doing. She may have let info slip.<p>Good luck!

Tryin,<p>I remember your post that you were afraid of this but I honestly didnt think she would do it. My goodness! I totally agree with ohbratti!!! God bless and let us know how it goes.<p>Love
bw