Someone mentioned in the past few days that we needed a roll call, so here goes....<p>Broken_Wings Age 25, H 25, ow 25, oc 2
Houston area
D-day (day you found out) was April 1999
Oc born Oct 1999
Not much contact and have never seen oc, except in pics
Marriage is doing really well with the help of the Lord
Latest on situation: Miracle upon miracle, ow is married and wants new H to adopt oc. We have recieved our papers, signed them and sent them back. Now we just wait on her H who is in the military and in Korea to get back and do his half. This may take a while, but it is well worth it.

Unsure age 29 H 29 exOW 31
Connecticut
D day 9/2000
No contact H seen OC 3 times (exOw brought baby to his job twice and he saw her once in court) shes 10 months old<p>Marriage doing great H feels as if he has no life with out me.<p>latest situation: exOW tried to embezzele $250 a week child care only to tell a close relative of mine who lives next to her. Her mom takes care of OC. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] Mailed her a letter she never responded I wonder why?<p>
Unsure

Julia3 age 28, H 28, OW 21 OC (fetus,4 mo)
Separated from H for 3 weeks now.
I'm in S. CA, H in MN
Dday (affair discovery) July 27,2001
Dday#2(OC discovery) Sept 9, 2001<p>Praying that my H moves to CA (my hometown) and proves to me that he loves me more than his job, ow, oc. So far, he just says that he doesn't feel that God wants him to move. (Than I guess God doesn't want him to reconcile his marriage).
OW is a controlling, manipulative brat and my H is weak and allows himself to be a pawn at her disposal. Although I don't desire a divorce, I will more than likely seek one if he doesn't move here. We have no children of our own.

Tigger4jdt & Sailorman59<p>Me-32 H-31 OM-27 OC(Abbi) 7 mos
Son-11 Daughter-9<p>D-day for H July 11, 2000 Pregnancy around July 25 D-day for me around July 27<p>Abbi born March 19, 2001<p>Current situation: H in Navy, supporting the country, away from us. Marriage is going very well, I have pretty much overcome my own guilt for what I had done. H loves Abbi as if she were his own, is her Daddy in all the ways that count.<p>OM never knew(to the best of our knowledge) about pregnancy or Abbi's birth. Hopefully never will.

Jenny 30s, DH 30s
2 children
XOW 20s, OC 3<p>HI all. Over 3 years since DDay. We are long distance; never see OC (pay ch-s); send OC things and open to visitation when older.<p>My heart goes out to all newbies forever. The horror and grief we each feel is overwhelming. Oprah once called adultery "soul-murder"; personally, I think that's why it's one of the 10 commandments. But there IS healing and there IS a better tomorrow!<p>[ November 03, 2001: Message edited by: Jenny ]</p>

Gem 48 H 48 OW 32 oc 6mos. ow is still married w/other c's
Ohio<p>D-day nov 2000<p>One visit w/baby at my request. No contact since as ow made things wildly impossible still telling h she loved him...also been horrible to me.<p>Marriage doing fine now. With God all things are possible.<p>Jenny, soul murder is a perfect analagy........

Why (40) H (45) OW (late thirties I think)<p>Massachusetts<p>D-day (day you found out) was July 27, 2001<p>Oc born July 6, 2000<p>H sees two older children with OW (from before we were together) every other weekend. I don't talk about OC with him. I think he "sees" her but doesn't spend time with her.<p>Marriage is doing well. The affair doesn't bother me nearly as much as the fact that there is now another child.<p>Latest on situation: Filed papers three weeks ago to have cs reduced and haven't heard anything. I've asked H when he visits children not to go into OW's apartment, to get the girls and leave (the older are 12 and 10 1/2. I don't know how he sees OC and I don't care as long as he has extremely limited contact with OW. He should have thought of that before he took his pants off. (yes, I'm still bitter!)

Tina 48, H 46, OW 33
2 oc 3yrs, and 4mo.
Married 26 years two children 22 &19 Children are humilitated and want no contact
Dday March 2001
H and OW still working together
Agreeable Visitation schedule and CS all done out of court.
Current marital situation: Still trying to deal with length of A (5years) in counseling, H is changed person for better. Lot of work ahead of us,I not comfortable with visitation yet,I have not yet seen the infant.
My parents will never know.
Terrified when this all comes out in the public<p>[ November 03, 2001: Message edited by: Tina71 ]<p>[ November 03, 2001: Message edited by: Tina71 ]</p>

Broken Wings,
Thanks for starting the topic, I did suggest this recently, as I am getting so darn confused whos who.
Tina

flowerseed 40, h 34, easy sleezy around 24, oc 2yrs
H confessed to cheating on me May 1999.
Found out about oc Nov 1999.
No one knows about what he did that matters other then my oldest who is 25yrs old and my friends here.
No contact pay support only h seems to think she will find someone else to raise her kid. I hope so but cant see it happening way to nasty.
H did work with her but quit right after telling me he cheated. She was after him for about 6 months before it happened. I knew she was after him but didnt believe he would stoup that low.Still havent been able to feel proud that he is mine hopeing someday that will return. She knew about me and our little girl 6yrs old we didnt matter.I didnt want to believe a person could be so rotten. I dont trust anybody anymore, I really dislike this part of my life I never use to be this way.Things are better between us then they ever where before, but there still are times I really dont care if something happened to me and I was gone from this messed up world. I feel so much better then I did in the beginning so I'm hoping in time this will pass also.
with love flowerseed<p>[ November 03, 2001: Message edited by: flowerseed ]</p>

tryin4 33, H 33, OW 28?, OC 9 mos.
D-Day Nov. 28, 2000
Married 6 years
Marriage improving. H is trying. I have grown spiritually, God is shouting at H, but H needs "Miracle Ear"
OW is a bit unstable. She uses OC as a pawn and plays games.
We have visitation every other weekend and pay CS, but nothing through the courts.
Latest on OW: However, due to her latest disappearing act, we should have it all legal and in place by mid year 2002.

me 39
H 41
OW 29
oc 4<p>We have no contact but do pay cs , medical insurance and day care.
We are lucky that the only time we hear from ow is when we recieve medical bills.
H and I are doing great. D-day September 1998.

twiisty: aged 31, H 31, OW 28, OC 2 on 11/12
H and I have two children together, 2 on 11/30 and 7 months old. OC and our DD are two weeks apart.(no comment....grrrrr)
H and I married for 4 years. Known each other for 16 years. High school sweethearts...soulmates...but that wasn't enough to stop what happened...*sigh*
New Orleans, Louisiana area.
D-day 05/01/01
H minimal contact before d-day...saw kid through car window while paying OW "hush" money in public place.
(Had to throw that in there.)
H chose life with us and children from the start. He wanted OC adopted out. OW personifies Glenn Close in "fatal attraction".
Now after court on 11/2 we have settled and are moving on with our lives with marraige counseling etc. etc.
NO contact with OW/OC ever anymore.
I think that's it for now.....
still in recovery, I suppose....
Hugs,
Twiisty
[img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]<p>[ November 04, 2001: Message edited by: twiisty ]</p>

Hi everyone.
dacasrest 38, H 45 married 17 years with three daughters 14,11, and 2.
ow 40 oc 5(boy)
D-day for knowledge of affair and oc July 1999. OC was born in 1996. I was completely blindsided by the whole thing. My H had ended the affair before the baby was born. We pay a large amount of child support, but although he has visitation he doesn't visit, we have spent the last two years in "recovery" trying to save our marriage and make it strong enough to entertain the possibility of visitation. Virtually no contact with the ow. H and I doing very well since Retrouvaille.<p>[ November 04, 2001: Message edited by: dacasarest ]</p>

ZebraBaby<p>Married 5 years this November
Two kids (5yrs boy and 2.5 years girl)
D-day of PA and OC December 15,2001
H had second affair (emotional) while we were in recovery of first affair.<p>It's been a long road. But our marriage is flourishing under God's grace.<p>Currently H has chosen to suspend visitation indefinately. Many reasons including horrible OW.<p>Keep praying ladies, he will see us through.<p>Z.

Me - 48 yrs, H - 48 yrs
married 1974, 28 years in Jan.
five children, one OC
He was involved with OW Mar 92 thru May93 I learned of OW in April 93.I learned of OC in April 94. If I had learned of OC during my pregnancy or right after my son's birth I might have left. by time I learned of her I had worked too hard to throw it all away and he was totally committed to me and our children.
My son was born 9/93, her dau born 1/94
Have no contact with OC per husbands choice.
we live in TX, she is in NC.
we pay child support
If the OW ever dies will pursue custody. If she marries will offer to give up to step-father.
OW is 15 years younger than us. She was 23 when she started seeing my H, he was 38.

just bumping this up

neverforget:38 H 44, OW 28 OC 5 DD dec 2 97<p>No contact with OC, Husbands choice, he did try to do it but realized he can not live 2 lives, we have 3 other children his mother and sister know my family does not, we do not pay CS as She would not ask for it anyway because she knows she would have to deal with me not H, I will unfortunatly never forget what has happened and will always remember the day I found out about the OC, But In the end the OW will pay because when you treat people the way she does it tends to come right back at ya

Unicornlove: 31 H-56, OW-27, OC-Oct. 97 4 years old
D-Day March of 97
I have a 12 year old daughter, H and I have a 9 year old son.<p>Affair lasted 94-97, she would call me every time she had gotton my H back in the palm of her hands which amounted to 3 until pregnancy. When she was pregnant got a job working at my childrens school and befriended my then 8 year old daughter. Before I could find out she left the school [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] <p>OW and I have horrible relationship which led her going to jail for 3 days. We do have contact w/ OC. I love her but it is hard on her and occasionally hard on me. <p>H and I are doing great!
Unicorn

hutch<p>me: 29 years old, W: 28 years old
married 3 years (13 Nov)
child from one night stand due in DEC
D-day 7 May 2001 at 6:01 PM<p>We are in recovery and things are going well. I have decided to raise child as my own. OM has no idea about child and has no part in our lifes.