We were fixing to get screwed in Juvvy court, when the OW approached our atty and asked to settle out of court. (God bless her!!!!)
They (The three of them) went to the atty's office and hacked out a deal....
$400 a month broken down to two hundred every two weeks
we pay 2/3 of insurance on our insurance (she got a better deal with medicaid, the sheriff is cheap)
she pays 1/3 of medical.
We pay until the kid is 18
she keeps her last name (found out we can't change the kid's name because Husband signed the birth certificate...doofus!)
and OW gets full sole custody, My Husband has no say, no rights except the right to pay for a mistake that he made when he stepped out of our marriage for a moment in time.
Then Hubby told OW that there was never a "THEM" and that she is raising the kid herself. SHe looked sad. (Actions have consequences).
He told her no contact...EVER...no mail, no phone, no work.
We are still working out the details of how to pay medical bills without her having all our personal info. Hubby will contact insurance later about that...any advice on that before Monday?
Anyways...it's managable. God did protect us from having it settled in Juvvy in which they tax 20% and review every three years.
She never asked for daycare money.
So it worked out for all.
She still owed back child support for the child she gave up. I guess she didn't want to rock the boat in court either.
Hugs to you and now Hubby and I can go on and rebuild our lives.
Thank you all for your love, support and prayers.
I hope to be able to be there for y'all as you have for me.
Hugs to y'all....
Twiisty [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]

twiisty , I think you will find you made it through the worst. Glad things went well for you guys.
We went shopping today and got all brand new dishes, I already patched all the holes and now we dont have to eat dinner with a bunch of miss matched dishes. No more flying objects allowed in my kitchen [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] . with love, flowerseed

Glad things worked out for you and H.<p>Unsure

It's just a really sad sad situation for everyone involved, but it's for the best.<p>At least it will cause H and OW to think before they just act on impulsive feelings from now on, believe me... It's sad that it took possibly ruining people's lives to get to this conclusion, tho. God will take care of everyone. His mercy and compassion for us is endless. You'll see...<p>Sorry you have to be going through this twiisty, you didn't ask for any of it. At least it looks like your H is committed to you and refocusing on his marriage. That's terrific.<p>AND, it sounds like OW is not one of those types who is all after your husband. That's really great news... If she were in love with him, she would have fought for as much as she could get, if not more... & you can read all about those types of OW on MB!<p>Good luck to you! It's a long hard road dealing with the rollercoaster emotions of infidelity. God will provide the money so that you will not have to feel it in your budget. I truly believe that.

BinThere wrote:<<AND, it sounds like OW is not one of those types who is all after your husband. That's really great news... If she were in love with him, she would have fought for as much as she could get, if not more... & you can read all about those types of OW on MB!>><p>I am not so sure about that. I think she knew she couldn't have gone on. She owed back child support for a child she had with another man and didn't want to rock the boat. The fact that we took her to court stunned her. She thought she could blackmail us indefinately.
The things she told me on the phone, coupled with what I knew about her before we were married showed me that she is just slinking back to her corner.
Time will tell if she will stay in her corner or wait another two years to try to "catch" my H in a weak moment again.
She did that when she found out we got married.
I am not at all secure about her "sudden" niceness.
She still is fatal attraction-like but I have to watch and wait and pray that this is the end.<p>
I agree with you that hopefully NOW OW and H will think twice about impulsively doing anything again. Although this would be the second time OW did that. This time she gets to keep the kid as H doesn't want it.
Never figured out why she gave up her son though.<p>Oh well....not my problem!
Hugs to y'all......
twiisty<p>[ November 05, 2001: Message edited by: twiisty ]</p>

Twiisty,<p>Your exOW owes back CS? She had a child by someone else and they have custody of it? That's funny that she owes CS. She probably had a pending warrant that's why she changed her mind and settled out of court. Good luck again with everything. <p>Unsure<p>[ November 05, 2001: Message edited by: UNSure919400 ]</p>

Twisty
"Actions have consequences" Yes, they do. Because of the selfish actions of your H and the OW, the child pays the consequences. It always amazes me thet the H in these situations is called a "dufus" and "had a weak moment" yet the OW is the one to pay the consequences.<p>Well, I am glad your H is at least being made to pay financially. Maybe now HE will think again before willingly taking part in having sex outside the marriage. Poor child!

Twiisty,<p>Man, she is like one of those annoyning little gnats at a picnic isnt she....<p>Anyways, I am glad to hear it went so very well. I was really wondering....<p>Love
bw

Yeah right, glad it went so well. Glad a child who had no say in any of this will have no Dad. And it's great that you are so happy that there will be No contact, EVER. Glad to see you think that's a positive sign about your H integrity. Does anyone here see the hypocrisy in this? I cannot see even looking at my H if he ignored his children. I am so afraid for womankind. To accept the H and reject the "kid" It's so backward to me.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>It always amazes me thet the H in these situations is called a "dufus" and "had a weak moment" yet the OW is the one to pay the consequences<hr></blockquote><p>Ow pay consequences?<p>Here's a headline for you BBB:<p>MAN SENTENCED 18 YEARS FOR NIGHT OF UNPROTECTED SEX<p>Outrageous isn't it?<p>Again I must say if our H's WANTED a child and ow said NO they could do absolutely nothing in preventing her abortion.<p>If ow chooses to keep baby, again against wishes of the MM, then MM again can do nothing.<p>After the fact...ow has ball in her court in all of the decisions!!!!

NO NO NO NO, my fault. That was a typo. I meant OC pays the consequences! Not OW.

However, I disagree with you when you say H could do nothing. Had he kept his pants on which he CHOSE to take off, there would be NO OC? NO ONE made him have sex. He SHOULD pay for 18 years and I don't care if it was for one half of a second of sex!

Bonnie, [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img]

Twiisty,
I am also glad to hear that things came to an agreeable settlement. Now to focus on rebuilding. Best of luck. <p>Tina

Flowerseed,
Exactly. And the relavance here is.....

Ladies, don't waste your energy with negative response to someone who doesn't get it....we have a moderator to deal with these things if warranted. How 'bout you let Xarelel know how you feel.

Yes, I think that's a good idea. I will do that. Thanks.

Thanks for your *warm* welcome Bonnie, you are entitled to your opinion. Since I am the one living my life with my H I think our decisions are best left with us. Before the board here updated, I happened to have read your profile and it read that you hail from Philly...I was born and raised there. One thing for sure, Philly-people pull no punches...thanks for making me really feel like a part of the board here...I was beginning to feel left out from your flaming arrows....
Hugs,
Twiisty

Ladies & Gentlemen (in case I missed one)<p>I just know you're all going to "Play Nice! <p>Let's not allow this thread to get off in a bad direction like some of the other threads have gotten. It's imperative that we treat one another with respect! Possibly we should not interject our point of view or opinions when they aren't wanted. The purpose of these forums is to help and support one another. When we can't do that in a clear conscience, then perhaps we shouldn't add to a thread at all?<p>[ November 05, 2001: Message edited by: Xarelel ]</p>

Xarelel, perhaps you have a point but.......<p>BBB so glad you're not a juror in a trial about this.
Ow LIED about taking birth control too.<p>Therefore I say EXTORTIONIST.<p>It's true.<p>Ow said she'd take care of c on her own..wouldn't accept "help".<p>LIAR.....<p>
At the very LEAST there ought to be laws to govern this exchange of money....A trial of some kind to tell the truth. MM can tell jury he never intended a c to be born of the situation. Add in all of the above. Lies and power to control ones future by the mere fact you are pregnant. She IS still married. Has other c's. What jury would completely fault MM? What jury would sentence him to 18 years?<p>Oh that's right...could be a jury full of scorned ow's.........hmmmmm.......