Hello,
I was advice that you might be able to help out.
My h had an affair back in Janurary. He was told my the OW the child was his. I was alos pregnant at the time and at risk of losing the baby. The OW wanted my h to go the dr. appointment and u/c he said no and told her that my wife does not feel comfortable me around you and going to the dr. appointments. After a few weeks she stopped talking to him. My h saw the OW a week after she found with a other guy. He started to have doubts that it was even his because even before this happened she told that she slept with all this guys. I know the OW likes to go out to the bars every night.<p>Anyway, the friend that introuduce them was the that told my h that she had the baby on Oct. 16 2001. She did not call my h. He wanted to go to the hospital but his friend told him the OW did not want him there. She has not file for child support so far and when my h tried to call her to talk to her she hung up on him. He called back and left a message on her answer machine to call him back so they can talk. We moved so my h gave her our phone number. She does know where we live.
The guy that my H saw her with is now dating her and he has been there through the whole pregnancy. There is a good possiblity that he is living with her now. It was his voice on the answering machine.<p>I live in WI and my h says that for cs they can only go back four months from the court date. I am not sure if that is true or not. I know for a fact that there is no name on the birth certificate for the father. She is still telling everyone that it is my husband's child. I just lost my job so we are justing waiting to see what the OW does. We are just making it as it is with 3 kids. I really wish I knew what her plans are but my husband really does not know what he wants to do yet. If he should go ahead and get the paternity test done or just wait and see. He seems think that she could only get 4 months back pay from the court date. I really think that at this time the OW has no attension of doing anything but that can change. She is only making around $7/hr. Her parents and her boyfriend are helping her out. I really don't how long that will that last. It is just this clound hanging over my head. Uncertain what to do. <p>Dawn

Hi Dawn! I hope that Bystander has the answer because I am interested as well.<p>Must be the water in WI!!!<p>What was your e-mail address?

tinlizzy,
my e-mail address is dawn7016@wi.rr.com

i hope its not your h's baby
the ow in my case did some things the same
she 's out terlling everyone its my h baby(WHY??)
after a couple weekend nights together while we were separated
she also gets around and was seen many a night in the bar even while pg with cig in one hand drink in the other
we know of many other guys around her place the same time
though seh adamant h's baby
one guy her x bf ends up living there 1 bderoom place while she is pg and was staying there before too supposedly now platonic friends
once she realizes im back in the picture she leaves h nasty note he shows me i call her
i was very nice i thought it all went well then we get a no contact letter from attorney in the mail
t/o pregnancy she tells everyone my h will 'never see HIS child" says she wants all rights to herself
she did tell me on the phone she wanted him to sign over all rights
told him she wanted nothing no cs
which if so i odnt even understand WHY shre called him up to say she was pg after not seeing or talking to him for 3 weeks
anyway baby born nothing
at about 2 months we get letter wanting cs
so we got dna (this is so paraphraing cuz i was going through so much waiting for results) it WAS h's i still have to believe she didn;t know for sure to keep myself sane
i finally get h to call her night before court she says "i want your money"
nothing gets settled in court its been months now and we haven't heard anything else
buyt i live int he fear of geting another letter from attorney any day and i will for years<p>
but as far as your state laws try doing a search
i found some that way
even a calculator for support
search child support laws or state cs laws or specifically your state
GOOD LUCK!!!

never_be_same,
I feel the same way you do. Your situation seems similar. I am so parnoid of getting a letter in the mail saying that she wants child support. I pray it is not his. So do you guys pay for child support? I think that it is why my husband was considering to get custody because of her life style. I don't know her. i pray that she will change and come around. <p>apparently, she has sezuire. If she does not take her medication promptly she will end up having seziures and I am not sure if she is suppose to be drinking because of her medication. My husband has his doubts that she will take care of the baby well. I think as long as she as this boyfriend she will be o.k. It sounds like he is a decent person. But who knows if he will stick around if so goes back to her old habits. I told my husband that I do not think that I could handle of custody of this kid. Unless, he thought his life was in danger I would rather not try for sole custody. If he wants joint custody that will be hard on me but I won't tell me that he can't see his son.<p>Dawn

Dawn, no we aren't paying now
we haven't heard anything else.
We talked to our lawyer about getting custody
he pretty much didn't give us any hope. I think ow does drugs, pretty sure, heard she was smoking pot while pregnant, asked atty if judge could order drug test. Our atty said we really wouldn't have a chance unless she got into trouble with the law.<p>Nope you are not supposed to drink with most seizure meds.<p>well, I don't give you much hope and encouragement, do I?
Sorry Just letting you know how it went for me.

never_be_same,
You said that you went to court. What happen there? You did not come to agreement so it just goes on until you guys come to an agreement?<p>Dawn

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Dawn71,<p>I'm sorry that I've been offline awhile, and in fact just got an email from a lurker who mentioned I was being paged.<p>The short answer is that most Wisconsin CS orders are now retroactive only to the date that the paternity action is filed. There are exceptions, such as someone intentionally threatening a mother if she files for CS. But in your case, the OW would only collect CS if she filed a paternity action. Wisconsin has a fairly strong presumption of joint custody, and courts are expected to favor (and enter) joint custody unless there are mitigating circumstances. In short, if the OW wants CS she will have to prove paternity through DNA testing *and* yield to joint custody if your H wants it. This is exactly how things should be, IMO.<p>The relevant URL is here:<p>
http://www.wisbar.org/wislawmag/2000/04/custody2.html<p>And the relevant quote is this:<p>"Sections 767.51(4) and 767.62(4m) will limit retroactive child support awards to the date of filing the paternity action. This reverses the 1997 Wisconsin Court of Appeals case, In re the Paternity of Brad Michael L.,4 where 15 years of retroactive child support were awarded despite the fact the mother had denied paternity to the child’s father. There will be exceptions, however. Child support can be awarded retroactive to the birth of the child if there was a delay in commencing the paternity action because of the father’s threats, promises, or representations, provided the mother relied upon them and then acted promptly once the delay ceased to operate. Child support retroactive to birth also can be awarded when the father has evaded the paternity proceedings."<p>Another nice thing about the revised Wisconsin law is that they are at least recognizing access intereference should be criminalized. However, until custodial parents who interfere with access are tossed into prison with the some vigor as deliquent "child support" obligors, I won't expect much change in custodial parents' behavior.<p>As far as the guidelines, Wisconsin is one of the notorious percentage of income states. It simply does not take into account how much the custodial parent actually earns (they *say* they do, but they don't in practice). Its an asinine system and should be abolished in favor of a cost shares model. But the good news is that if the OW sues for custody, you can limit your "child support" by demanding shared physical placement. The relevant URL is here:<p>
http://www.divorcenet.com/wi/wi-art07.html<p>and the quote you want (to reduce the "child support" amount) is this:<p>"Child support may be reduced from guideline percentages  if each parent shares physical placement. Shared physical placement is presumed when the child support payer  has the child in their care no less than 30% of the time or 110 nights per year. If the payer cares for the child between 30-40% of the time, his/her child support obligation may be reduced from 100% of the guideline percentage to 67% of the guideline support figure. If the payer cares for the child between 40 and 60% of the time, his/her child support may be  reduced from 67% of the guideline child support figure to $0."<p>To recap, she would only get "child support" retroactive to the day she starts a paternity action. You can aggressively push for a joint custody, and you should get it. You can further limit your "child support" sentence by pushing for 110 or more nights a year. As someone who believes in a rebuttable presumption of 50% joint physical custody with no "child support" ever changing hands, Wisconsin laws are pretty good.<p>I hope all this helps.<p>Bystander

Bystander, I want to tell you that you are just awesome! You are *so* good at finding and relaying this kind of information! I am really impressed and grateful as well.<p>Thank you!

Bystander,
What percentage will she get if I have three kids at home ages 5,2, and 4 months?
I know it is 31% for 4 kids but what percentage will she get out of that if she was to get sole custody and if we got joint custody?<p>Dawn

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Dawn,<p>I can't imagine not knowing for sure but my thoughts on the subject are instead of living in fear of her contacting you why don't you and your husband take her to court to have paternity established? Just a thought...

Hey Dawn, <p>It is my understanding that in Wi, the courts do not take into consideration the other children that you and your husband have at home when figuring child support for the child born as the result of an affair.<p>My husband and I were just talking about this. I brought it up because someone on here got a divorce so that ow wouldn't get as much money. (who was that, anybody?) <p>I am the only one in our situation who *really* wants the DNA test done. Noone else seems to care. Well, one of the reasons that I do want to know is because I don't want to live in fear regarding this child and what's going to happen to him and to us and all that. <p>Well, now that husband's brother refuses to take the test, I refuse to take that chance (by taking the test without him) and pay out $ when the boy might be my husband's nephew and NOT his son. <p>So, anyways, I brought up the divorce so that if she decides to come after us in 10 years or whatever, and my husband ends up being the father, we won't have to have taken away what we've been used to having. I know that that sounds kind of selfish, but I don't think that myself and my kids should have to suffer because of dh's mistake.<p>Just a thought. I would talk to a lawyer. I am going to, myself. There are many that have 1/2 hr free consultation.<p>love and light, <p>p.s. it does sound like the ow wants nothing to do with your husband anymore. it's that fear of the unknown for the next 18 years that keeps me wanting to find out the results!!!

Tin,<p>Well, I do know that CDCollins is "legally seperated" from her H for that very reason, and it did work for them, as the xOW's CS was reduced, and she now receives CS for their boys. I also know that they have to use seperate addresses. They live in a home in which this was possible, as it has two seperate entrances, and was, at one time, used as seperate apartments. I can't remember which thread she had responded to with more detail on just this subject, and I know that she is quite busy now. Hopefully, she will see your questions, and be able to answer them better.<p>As to you thinking that you are being selfish about this, don't feel that way. You are protecting your family and children. If you were to pursue this, it would be to actually save your marriage, and the divorce would only be on the papers. I would be careful how you bring this up to an attorney. Make sure he is one that will fight for keeping a family together in whatever means necessary! Those are usually the ones that are more willing to help with matters such as this.<p>Hope this helps somewhat.<p>Love,<p>Tigger

Bystander contacted me and said he knew he was being paged and would be by sometime over this weekend...stay tuned<p>Catnip =^^=<p>[ December 01, 2001: Message edited by: catnip ]</p>

There is nothing selfish in protecting your family and your assets from possibly liens and attachments. This system is so corrupt and dangerous, that everyone here must do what they must to survive and protect themselves.<p>I divorced to protect the equity in my home from being confiscated by the very aggressive OW, the NY Family Court and her amazingly tenacious attorney.<p>Catnip =^^=

Hello,
Does anyone know how to sue for paternity testing? I was wondering.