Hi to everyone,
It is may be a long story But I'm lost here. I'm 31 My husband is 40.
We have been married for five months. Before we knew each other for 4 years. But it was a long distance relationship. We went thru all the Difficulties to be together as we are from different countries and it was not easy for us. I move to his country. Before marriage everything was ok. After marriage seams like he is not interested in sex with me ... and....... we never passionately kiss
I'm very attractive woman ... everything is ok with sex. Every day I was trying to have sex with him and he kept saying :" be patient ... I need to do it on my own" ....
Once we had a great weekend wich we spent together with his brother's family. My husband took us to highlands and we had fun. We came back and watching TV together. It was 3 am The movie was not good actually and my husband told me :"I'm bored. I want to go out" When I asked where he wants to go, he said he wants just to drive around … may be have a cup of tea …. when I said:” what about me? I'm bored too.”.. He said:” I want to go alone I need my space”. I was shocked ... I know everybody need space sometimes ... but I never thought it can be 3 am ....
I was crying and we had a big disagreement so this time he did not go... but after that sometimes we go out and he says me after we go out he will drop me home and after he need go out after 3 am because his friend is available only after 3 am ... who is his friend and why he can meet him only after 3 am he refuse to answer He says he dose not have to tell me because there are things nothing to do with me.
One day he bought a new pillow just for him... May be it is strange but it hurt me ....I took it like there is no me on his mind in our bed .... May be I'm too sencitive ...
Sometimes he wants to go out midnight -1-3 am ... I don't understand if it is normal... As for me it is not But he keep saying he need his space sometimes ... Sometimes it is may be once in 2 weeks sometimes more ... sometimes less... When I ask why it must be late night time He says he want his space any time he need it...
Some times ago somebody call his hand phone 2.30 am ...When I asked him who call him he answer just somebody playing fool Then I asked why then you were talking to this person... He become very angry and said I'm so bad and I'm so suspiciouse ... I don't trust you... From that time I noticed he started to hide from me his phone ... he made no sound ring... It is very strange ...
I said him that I can't accept his going out late night because it hurts me ... He says that I can't compromise and I can't sucrifuce anything for family ..and that . I should not be married.
Now I'm not sure what is right what is wrong ... We don't have normal sex ... only when I insist very much ... He wants to go out late night and I don't have to ask even where he is going because he dose not want to report. One more thing he is reading a forum where guys talk about local girls who sell their body… which is good which is not good ….
He is a nice guy Caring and loving …. May be I’m really wrong??? Please help me to understand Am I selfish????
… Sorry for my mistakes because English is not my language
Please help me to understand what is wrong with me or with him?

My heart goes out to you - this is so difficult and distressing. Especially if you are in a foreign country and without friends and family for support.

This website offers a lot of good advice. Use this discussion board but also do read the materials on the site - they work in practice.

I'm sorry to give you bad news but I think your husband is having an affair with another woman. For some reason she is available at around 3am - probably she has a husband who works unusual hours.

Please post more information. What is your husband's background and yours? How long have you been married?

Do not be shy about gathering evidence. Phone records, email accounts etc. I know it seems like spying but if you go to him without firm evidence it will just get an angry denial.

This site has helped many people to survive an affair but it's not easy and we can't promise 100% success.

You're in my prayers.