I have been married to my wife for 26 years and we have struggled with this problem through out those years. My wife married my not for being in love but rather for convience. We have 3 wonderful children, 24,21,21, and a good life. We have had to work hard on staying together because of verbal abuse, emotional problems, depression and job changes. I have been seeing a counselor for the last 5 months and have made great progress towards a more confident and self assured person. I struggled through mood changes through out our marriage and this drove a wedge in what feelings my wife had for me. My wife has told me that she is and never was in love with me. She loves me in her own way and that I am considered a friend more than a lover. We have a marriage of just commitment and not passion or intimacy. We are working to try and meet our needs and honor our marriage commitment. I have read MB articles and talked with my counselor on bulding love where no love is. Love was never there, so we are not rebuilding something that was. My wife has told me that in her heart she believes that she can never be in love with me. She has had an brief affair(non-sexual) and has ended and repented. She has asked for me to take her back. I love her and hope that I can trust her unconditionally. She has agreed to start counseling and she wants to see if there ever was love there and if there will ever be. Is there hope and if so what needs to happen for the love to be put into our marriage?

You know, for being married 26 years and proclaiming not to be in love, you did very well. Who is to say what true love is????? Is it the flush of your cheeks, the beating of your heart? Or is it the staying power of someone who truly cares about you and what happens to you? It is an honor to be married to one's best friend, while passionate love is fleeting and most often, shallow. Keep working at it. You have shown an honorable comittment and are to be commended. I have been married 7 months to a man I dated for two years and who has professed to be passinately in love with me many many times. He promised to love and cherish me and my kids forever in a beautiful ceremony. However, because of "differences" in raising our four children (two from his marriage, two from mine) he now tells me he thinks we should split up. Passionate love? Well, I would take your kind of love over his any day. She is lucky to have such a stable, forgiving, loving man. Don't forget who is the prize here....might it be you?