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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 11
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 11 |
it's been a while since i've posted, but things don't seem to be getting easier as i was hopeful for, oc just had his 13 birday, and on our anniversary, (was'nt that sweet) some days i can pull myself together, then other days it all seems so hopeless, you know what really bothers me is i actually find myself hating this child, and i know hes innocent, but so am i, i get tired of being the one always feeling guilty over the feelings and lot of hate that i have bottled up inside of me, how did any of you finally let it go and learn to live a peaceful life again, or does that ever happen
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 621
Member
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Member
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 621 |
Befar,<p>I'm not familar with your story. If contact is causing you this much pain why don't you take a step back. OC is 13 and that has to be hard depending on when you found out about him. We don't have contact I've only seen OC once and it hurt to see my H hold her. I pray to God that when or if contact is established I'm able to handle it if not. I'll probably walk away from the situation. That's what I think I'll do but when I'm face with it who knows. Most of us didn't think we would still be with our H after they put us through this. I'm sorry I wasn't able to give more adivce I hope things work out for you. Good luck and I'll keep you in my prayers.<p> Unsure<p>PS I always try to focus my hate where it belongs with my H (and exOW if she knew he was married) he/(they) put me in this situation OC's are innocent even though it hurts to even look at them.
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 1,169
Member
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Member
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 1,169 |
Befar, I remember you, wasnt you having alot of behavoir problems. I remember he was saying smart commets to you and upsetting you. Do you and your h still have contact? So sorry you are still in so much pain . I think you are dealing with the effects of what this does to these kids.I understand your pain but I just dont know what to say. We have no contact oc is 2 yrs old. I have raised a few kids though and at that age they can drive you nuts even if there not oc. Let us know whats been going on. with love flowerseed
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