<p>[ February 14, 2002: Message edited by: mnca6713julia3 ]</p>

julia,
I'm so sorry you're going through this, but like you said, the bright side is your H is catching on finally.<p>Our XOW gave her child my MIL's name, sent MIL (long distance) a birth announcement and pictures after the birth; keep in mind she's never even met my MIL. Most XOW are sad, desparate people. Their behavior is immature and crying out for attention that presumably they did not get in childhood or something... whatever. My MIL saw her for what she is and has had nothing to do with her. If the OC wants to visit us when she is older, she will be treated well by us and H's family, but I expect this OC to be as immature as her mother. It is a sad fact of life and nothing anyone can do about it. I have to remind myself of this regularly.<p>Prayers for you and your H in YOUR recovery!!<p>Jenny
recovery 3+years and marriage is great!

<small>[ January 20, 2003, 10:23 PM: Message edited by: whatif? ]</small>

How did this woman get your mother's number? I know that our exOW would not even know where to begin to find that information. I agree with all who say these are desperate women. As I told twiisty in another post, as hard as it may be, pray for this desperate soul. I always pray that God will soften her heart. He always works his miracles and the still waters return. When is your h coming to you? It just sounds to me like exOW is trying some last ditch efforts. This will actually work in your favor because h will finally see that you are the only true woman in his life and leave the little girl behind.

Jenny, whatif, tryin,<p>Thanks for your responses. I realize that ow is just immature and desperate - willing to do whatever it takes to see me suffer more. Well, my mom handled it better than i surely thought she would. She was sad for me and wondered how in the world i could put up with so much, but i told her that i have already gone through all the stages - from suicidal to depressed to denial, etc. but now i am at a point where i am soley focused on God. The ow is not that powerful enough to destroy my marriage, no matter what.<p>Tryin, unfortunately when i left my h in MN, I also left my parent's address and phone number (where i'd be staying) in CA on a dry-erase board in the kitchen. Well, my h let her in our apartment and the rest is history. I truly feel that my h is stronger now and unwilling to let her get away with her manipulative ways. As it is, the day my h let her come to the apt, she wanted him to sign some papers stating that he was the father(h didn't sign), but anyways, she showed up with HANDWRITTEN papers...LOL.<p>Not like this is really significant, but i went out again tonight with my cousin and his friends and i had so much fun. I never thought i could actually have fun again. <p>God Bless,
Julia

Julia,
Just caught up with the posts...man oh man...I went into orbit for you!!!! After my H fanned my face with a paper fan, I had to sit and send you another (((((Hug)))))....
I am glad you are doing well with that. I saved our ow the trouble by calling my H's parents myself and wish I never did tell them. I got "betrayed" again by my in-law's!!! I have known them since I was 15 and they wanted me to "embrace the child" and gave me the "blood kin" story etc.
I wanted to divorce the whole family. Unless you walk a mile in our shoes, don't presume to think that everyone just welcomes this kind of thing with "open arms". For those that do, God has given them an extra measure of strength and grace that I admire. I was in the wrong line when He handed it out!!! LOL!!! But I guess in our case the OW is Glenn Close personified.(which was a factor in our consideration of whether OC was going to be a part of our lives or not, we still have four innocent children at home too we had to think about.)
It's rough all over. Glad to see you are having fun...still waiting for that e-mail you promised to send!!!!
(((((((HUGS))))))))))
twiisty [img]images/icons/cool.gif" border="0[/img]

Julia,<p>exOW called my MIL and told her she was expecting my H child. MIL asked her if she knew he was a married man before she got preg. she said yes. Mil said you should have thought about that before getting preg. don't call my house again and hug up. She's been great she's stuck by me and supported my decsion even when I filed for a divorce. I hope you get the support that you will need from both sides. Good luck and you handled this like a lady which exOW is obviously not. <p>Unsure<p>P.S. Her crazy behaviour will knock any fog the was clouding H head out. exOW crazy actions and antics made my H realize he was in love with me and he also realized he had nothing with out me. She's making your H realize how much he loves and needs you.<p>[ November 26, 2001: Message edited by: UNSure919400 ]</p>

Julia,
I can't imagine what you must have felt after getting that news from your mom. That is the one hope I have in this whole mess is that my parents never find out. Like whatif, I know that my parents would lose all respect for H. I don't even know if they would "play" nice. <p>Jenny, I also agree with you about the OW sometimes being immature, desparate people. OW in our case did have from what I understand a troubled childhood. Unfortunately for me, H became too involved in trying to help her overcome those problems. <p>Tina