Last Monday H and I had wonderful news. We got two strong fetal heartbeats and my medication was reduced to 2x a week. My backside was so relieved LOL.
I'm so happy that our two attempts at invitro were and are successful.
Anticipating the birth of our children has made our relationship so much stronger and loving. Even before knowing about IT, I wanted more children and I am so glad that IT hasn't changed my decision about what I know will make me happy. Being a mother is the best experience I have ever had. Especially since all of my children are truly MIRACLES**** Our first miracle will be 3 next month. (How time flies when you really enjoy it.)
I'm still not out of the woods yet so please keep praying for a successful and full term pregnancy.
H is thrilled. He is so attentive and involved during this pregnancy. He wasn't during the first because he was so involved with "IT".<p>While everything for the most part is wonderful,there are moments of reality.
I don't know if it's the pregnancy, the hormone injections, me, etc.... or just a combination of everything, but recently I had such graphic images flash in my head about IT. I usually am able to let it go and let it pass, but this time around I haven't been able to. I finally spoke with H about it, not in detail, but enough for him to get the message.
Surprisingly, he hasn't really addressed my feelings other than giving me a hug. I know that part of it is his own guilt and he really believes that there is nothing he can do to help me since nothing can be changed, but I want him to at least try. I have told him specifically what he could try, but I guess he is just waiting for it to pass since I have done so in the past.
I don't know how else to make him see that even unsuccessful attempts of reassuring me do actually reassure me.
I know that he really loves me and is committed to me and our family. I'm just not as strong as he thinks I am and I am pretending to be. I need his support all of the time.
When does all of the insecurity, images and feeling of helplessness go away or at least stay away for a longer period of time?<p>For those of you who are not familiar with my situation, I originally posted as Tormented. Since believing that the only person who can save me is me, I changed my name to Healing my Spirit.
I am now 1 1/2 years post D-Day and living each day as if it were my first and last. I know in my heart there is hope and light at the end of this tunnel called LIFE.
