[img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

catnip i am sorry but my emotions allowed me to "assume" that with your agreement of wh and her bitter reply to fh that you somehow felt as bitter. that is where i felt you grouped fh into ow's. my appoligies. you are right there was a ton of emotion on many fronts yesterday. as far as the featherbrain/halfwit names they were meant just as an example that anyone can be belittling in many ways just as the finding fortune 500 exec's was being sarcastic. i am not the type who would resort to name calling just wanted to make the point that though all opions are welcome i would like to think that diplomacy is the rule. and again fh is not trying to pass blame and she was not complaining about cs. what she was refering to was that the hell was from my oldest son's mom. she was as you say an op.
gemini1 you are correct. fh and myself agree with all that the cs system is not egual and does not consider bs and original c's. and this is a crime that has wrecked many lives.
BINthereDUNthat thank you for the warning but i believe that we all have been in a place taht makes this forums bite is a mear bark. i just feel again that the attacking and blameing here is a waste of good time and space.<p>hope everyone has a great day and remember a smile can brighten the darkest day.

p51, thank you for your kind words from both of us. you are right it took me a lot of persuadeing to get fh to post here as she felt the emphasis was from the bs/w's. she has become a little disolutioned feeling that she has been beat up on a couple of occassions. we are trying hard like all of you and are searching for a way to move on with some joy in our lives again. it's just that there seem to be so many things clouding the way right now as you well know.

I was going to stay off this thread, because I am not contemplating CS, unless xOM finds out about Abbi, and then only to keep him out of our lives. I know that most of you know my views on it. But, in reading the posts by fullhouse and pops, I just had to make a comment. I know the pain that fullhouse is going through, and if you would recall my past posts at the same stage of my pregnancy, you will recall a few with the same tone as she used. <p>I think that what hit the nerve of many here from fullhouse's post was the mention of CS. Fullhouse and Pops are doing what they need to to repair this damage that has been done. I have read from Fullhouse that she is repentant of her sins, and that Pops is diligently trying to be forgiving, but you all know how hard that is. Look at those who are still on the major rollercoaster vs. those who have graduated to the kiddy rides. <p>I know that there are a few out there who are in similar situations with the age factor, and I too would feel the way that Pops does. In fact, we did for a little while, because at the age of our other children, when Sailorman retires from the military, would have been one out of hs, and the other only 2-3 yrs from graduating. Now, we will have an additional 10 yrs of school that Abbi will be in. All those plans, and I screwed them up for us! Yes, we aren't at the same stage of life as Pops and Fullhouse, but we probably had some of the same type plans, that are now put on the back burner.<p>I just wanted to ask why the responses seemed to be so harsh to Fullhouse, when before there was understanding? I know that posting here is very difficult for her, as I was afraid to post very often when I first arrived, and then, when I did, it was very long, because it had all been building up inside. I know that this topic is THE hottest on these boards, as it is very unfair to the innocent parties, but you also need to remember that it has been posted by both Pops and Fullhouse that she is not the one who wants to seek CS. <p>To be honest, I remember reading posts to Sailorman that he divorce me, avoid the CS trap if we were to later divorce, and how that enraged me! I even blasted out at Bystander(I believe it was my first post here) that we were going to work our marriage out and whatnot. We need to understand that everyone has their own pain, and their own solutions to their situations. I guess that I am just concerned that someone like me was accepted, but now that there is another woman, who wants to save her marriage but is expecting the OC has been treated in such a way. <p>I know these views are unpopular on this board, because so many of you have been treated so unfairly by the CS laws, and outrageous CS amounts, but this board is for all those who are dealing with this situation, from all sides. I has, for so long, been mostly BW's with a couple BH's thrown in, but rarely has there been the WW. In fact, every time I see one post, I reach out to try to help them! <p>It is a horrible guilt that we deal with, to see the pain that we have caused others while we were being so stupid! I still struggle with that guilt! I am not trying to excuse what I have done, and have prayed that it will never come to CS, and have even posted that I pray that the xOM's W is now his xW, so that if it ever does come to that, they have the "first cut"! We are struggling with 3 children on an enlisted salary! We are paying for our sins in that way, as our C are doing. They don't get as many nice things as they used to, but they still have both parents to love them!<p>I'm sorry this post go away from me, but I have been dealing with things, and sorta having a hard time right now. It just hit me, as I'm sure it hit Fullhouse, that her post was viewed the way it was. I don't know if it is from the recent problems we have had on this board, and I don't care. I think that everyone needs to take a deep breath when it comes to this subject, and read with an open mind. You don't know how many times I wish that I hadn't been so stupid, even now. I love Abbi with all my heart, as does Sailorman, and now have a hard time imagining life without her, but there are times that I still regret it! That is when it hurts the most, and I realize that even though it wasn't what God wanted me to do(the A), He took the situation back, and has blessed us with such a happy healthy little(big [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] ) girl.<p>There are times when I feel that I need to stop coming here. I wonder what good I am doing for those here with my advice and experience. But, then there comes along someone in my situation, or my H's situation and I reach out.<p>I'm sorry for this post. I almost decided not to post it, but I decided to anyway. I am not pointing fingers at anyone. I just wanted to make my feelings be known. I may just lurk for a while, as I'm not sure what good this is doing for me in these trying times.<p>Tigger

Dear Tigger<p>Never apologize for posting!<p>Emotions are running high these days. Part of it is the stress from the holiday season, part of it could be the negative influence from a member or two who are combative, abrasive and instigating chaos.<p>I know you identify with Fullhouse because your situations are aligned and I am grateful you are here to guide her (and Pops) through the most difficult period in their lives.<p>The harsh replies she received from Worsehalf were definitely not delivered with gentleness and kindness, for whatever reason. We do not know anything about Worsehalf or his/her story. That being said, there was so much truth to the content of what was expressed regardless of how it was delivered. It was pure logic and tough to argue, which brought out a lot of defensiveness on FH and Pops part, understandably so.<p>The point here is that truths must be told to each other, as we see them, to offer many different points of view, so each of us can take what we need and leave what does not apply to us, to make more informed, realistic judgments, so we don't constantly run on emotion and become ineffective. My ONLY complaint is deliberate bad manners and disresepctful judgments and hidden agendas and troublemakes. <p>Even though Worsehalf's points were painfully and absolutely valid and true, they were not delivered to fragile people with care and concern, so he/she is guilty of not being considerate of feelings. This is why I spent so much time explaining things to BBB yesterday, trying to guide her to use a soft touch rather than a sledge hammer so she isn't so ostracized. Same thing for Worsehalf. Being a newbie, she needs to learn to be sensitive to these emotional and difficult issues we all face. He/she can tell the truth without sarcasm and disrespect. Many of us here do not want to hear the truth in the beginning, especially right after discovery. During those early months, nothing makes sense, we lick our wounds, we grieve what has been lost, and the guilty make excuses for themselves, and the betrayed make excuses for their WS because everyone is desperate to get back what they have lost. They are mourning and beginning the stages of enlightenment and the healing process.<p>Think about yourself, Tigger, how far you have come over the past year or so since you came here. Think about the amazing decisions you have made with Sailorman and the progress the two of you have made in your marriage and how you two stick to your POJA regarding the OM and CS. You have gained so much from MB and this site and have made rational decisions in part to your enlightenment. Fullhouse will have to go through her baptism by fire as you did. No one gets out of here alive. We all get our chastisements from time to time. Sometimes we may squabble among ourselves but basically there is the ever present love and care and concern and most of us offer each other opinions from the heart.<p>It didn't kill you to be told the truth, harshly or otherwise. It won't kill Fullhouse, either. And she will be able to to eventually remove the emotion and the defensiveness from her decision making process, as will Pops, and hopefully, come to a more logical 'cause and effect' conclusion to their dilemma.<p>Because all of our situations are the same, yet have their own particular side bars, there is the basic understanding and the ability to look at life from both sides.<p>We all need to tell each other the truth as we see it. To do anything less is a disservice to the members who search for their truth. If we always coddle, if we go along with stuff we know is harmful ultimately harms the member who is searching for answers.<p>Let's all ready Emily Post (haha) and learn decorum and diplomacy and manners and treat each other with respect and make an effort to deliver the truth as we each see it with kindness and care, for we are the beaten and bloody walking wounded.<p>You're the best, Tigger. Thanks for reaching out to FH and Pops...only you and Sailorman really have an idea how the next few months and years will play out for them...because you've been there and you are there. God bless<p>Catnip =^^=<p>[ November 28, 2001: Message edited by: catnip ]</p>

FYI Pops....Worsehalf is a man and he is my partner. Thank you Catnip for the clarification to Pops and Fullhouse. I think you hit the nail on the head.
Worsehalf does have a great deal of anger around this situation. He is being garnished to the tune of 1700.00 a month for a child he does not want. The ow quit her job shortly after the judgement. He has no contact with this child out of principle. But don't think that this decision doesn't eat him up inside every second of everyday. The ow wants to be with him and this cs is a perfect way to punish him for not coming her way. It is pathetic that women are allowed to make these choices completely on their own and then force responsibilty onto a unwilling party. It's not like it's a choice to buy a couch or something....IT IS PARENTHHOD!!!
I struggle greatly with my situation. I have to live with the fact that my husband screwed someone while he was married to me and then to make sure that I can be reminded of it everyday, she has a baby and sues my husband for support. We end up looking like the evil people while she walks away looking like the victim, the martyr...
Catnip thanks for e-mailing bystander. I want to feel like I am doing something positive in the face of all of this negativity.

Ms clyde<p>OK. This explains Worsehalf's lack of, mmmm... gentleness...he may have used Fullhouse as a surrogate for the OW in your lives and spoke to her in a way he wants to speak to the OW....I get it.<p>This might make it more palatable for FH and Pops to understand where Worsehalf was coming from.<p>Perhaps you can edit his posts before he hits the submit button...haha<p>I must admit he has a good handle on the obvious and his adamant feelings your situation.<p>Bystander has been alerted, Msclyde, however, he has not responded as of yet.<p>Stay tuned<p>Catnip =^^=

Pops...If I am understanding you correctly you feel om should pay the price for having a with your w. You do not feel that your family should suffer the financial burden of this child without cs from om. Guess what....I would love for ow to pay the price for having an affair with mm but I have no recourse. Not only do I have no recourse but ow gets child she so desperately wanted and she gets to have us carry her financial burden. You have some legal remedy for your situation. A payment for your pain and suffering (however inadequate) if you will. We just PAY, PAY, PAY...no joy surrounding a new child in our family, just shame, pain and powerlessness. Pops, I really think we have more common ground than you think......the laws just treat the situations differently because of the gender.

Bonnie,<p>I feel so strongly about a comment you made about being bi-polar that I could not continue reading all the posts and went straight to a response. Being bi-polar is a serious illness that can and does change you from Jekyl to Hyde. You act irrationally and without any logical thought. I&#8217;ve lived through the tragedy of what bi-polarism can do to loved ones. My cousin was bi-polar. We grew up together; laughed together; cried together; loved each other; hated each other. He was not my &#8220;brother&#8221;, but he was the closest thing to it. He was diagnosed as bi-polar about 7 years ago. He was on meds and they did wonders for him, but he wanted to be &#8220;normal&#8221;. So every once in awhile he would stop taking them because he really believed he would be okay without them. He wasn&#8217;t. Sometimes we were lucky and we could intervene before something bad happened. Other times the police would pick him up and bring him home after he decided it was okay to go jogging in his birthday suit. It sounds kind of funny, but it&#8217;s not. He had no idea that what he was doing was not acceptable or rational behavior. The last time he went off his meds, he decided to run the hills near a high traffic area for illegal aliens. Smugglers in this area were considered dangerous and were dealt with by our local law enforcement as such. That included deadly force. The last time my cousin went off his meds, he was killed! The police and border patrol thought he was an illegal alien or a smuggler and were &#8220;tracking&#8221; him down. He was paranoid, scared, and acting without reason. He started throwing rocks at the officers to keep them away. They considered it a threat to their lives and shot him. He was only 30 years old and was very kind and gentle person. Who he became when he stopped taking his meds was an unrecognizable being. <p>Bonnie, your assessment of a serious illness was pretty harsh. I would give anything to have my cousin back. That&#8217;s not going to happen, though, is it? My family has to deal with the aftermath of what this illness did and how much we lost as a result. Being bi-polar is life-altering. It is controllable with medication. Without meds, it can and does lead to tragedy. I hope you understand what I&#8217;ve said here. I know I&#8217;m rambling a bit.<p>Claudia

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by BINthereDUNthat:
[QB]<p>1. The thing is, when these stories are retold, it's easy to tell who has healed and who has not, and who is still bleeding profusely. In the meantime, life is passing us by! We all have to get to the place where dredging up our painful memories of the past don't literally rip off the scab & cause more bleeding!! <p>2. Do whatever you need to do to get closure. If you believe suing the OW will get you the satisfaction you need, then go for it. Be prepared for whatever the outcome and don't set yourself up for disappointment. <p>3. You really want to know she is suffering but you can know that without lifting a finger to force it to happen. <p>4. There is suffering going on in New York catnip, you just don't realize it.
QB]<hr></blockquote><p>Dear BTDT<p>I think you misunderstood what I have been trying to relay and why I have gone to lengths trying to explain things in detail.<p>1. BonnieBB challenged me and I needed to meet that challenge with the entire story because she was completely missing the point. I don't dwell on much of this any more, and it is annoying (not painful) to reiterate, however, I felt it necessary to try to reach BBB in an attempt to come to some kind of understanding. She has given so many of us bum raps and gotten almost everything all wrong because of disrespectful judgments and inaccurate assumptions that it caused her to be redundant. I am so tired of the buttons getting pushed...it was time to blow the dust and cobwebs off my story and relay it once more. <p>Healing? Slow but sure. It's a process and a long one at that. Too many other things are occupying my time and mind these days to spend much time obsessing. That's why I was gone for so long and stay away for long periods of time even now. This is a difficult 'anniversary' time for me right now which I suspect is a subconscience reason for my posting a lot.<p>2. I have no illusions regarding the lawsuit. I am fully aware it may turn out to be a horror for me. However, my reason for doing it is twofold. Certainly, it will give me a measure of satisfaction to strike back in some way, but largely, and on a much bigger scale, I am hoping that it might draw some attention to the CS injustices many of us are facing. My attorney wants to address the double standards, challenge the 'laws' and fight for reform. Disappointment is not a factor nor will it be a factor in any of this, regardless what happens. The important thing here is that reform begins even if it is with a squeak. This isn't so much about vengeance as it is about justice.<p>3. I am not sitting with my voodoo doll wishing terrible suffering on OW. I just don't care if she is suffering one way or the other. I have momentarily wished her ill will in the past when she hit me with a phony Order for Protection and lied, or when she begged the judge to throw my husband in jail, but that was a reaction to her action. My days are not spent ruminating over her discomfort.<p>4. This is the weirdest statement, preposterous in fact, BTDT, in light of the monumental tragedy in NY that took thousands and thousands of lives instantaneously leaving behind thousands and thousands of grieving families. I would have to be a brainless vegetable not to "realize" there is suffering in NY...did you really say that and mean it that way? I'm not catching your drift here, BTDT.<p>Thanks for all your input, BTDT.<p>Catnip =^^=<p>[ November 28, 2001: Message edited by: catnip ]</p>

oh catnip, you are online. how i wish you had aol aim. <p>broken wings, ngu and i are chatting right now and would love to hear you purr live.<p>zebra

FH-
Your defense to my reply was nothing more than a defense of your ego. You failed to discuss any issue relevant to this string. I don't know what or how to say it to you. Forced parenthood is wrong, period. The wicked combination of our unjust legal system, and women who refuse to take responsibility for a choice that they alone have, is unconscionable. Yes, I am angry. I would be unbalanced if this situation didn&#8217;t anger me. Like Catnip reiterated earlier, I will fight to make any small change in this unfair system, even if I die trying. I see your consideration of choosing to keep the oc and force om into parenthood as a cog in this system, and I will fight you. I do not apologize for tearing apart your post, or for being very angry at any person who would EVEN CONSIDER using our unfair system against om. I don&#8217;t feel I would be doing anyone any favors by replying to the specific points of your rebuttal, but I will ask you to keep &#8216;em coming&#8230; I can find so little to laugh at these days. (was that mean?)<p>Tigger-
I know that you did not make any specific defense for FH&#8217;s views, and your desire was not to get involved with this topic. But after reading your post, I had to respond to you for the same reasons I responded to FH. Your choice to keep Alli a secret from om is heartbreaking. Not forcing paternity (yet) on the om is one thing. Not giving the om a choice to be a father is quite another. Your actions surrounding the om are despicable. Men deserve the same choices women have&#8230; to be or not to be a parent . Your abuse is a perfect example of this inequity. The om doesn&#8217;t even know he&#8217;s a father? You had a choice to become a mother&#8230;He should have had a choice to become a father. Fair is Fair. And you would go after this om, who doesn&#8217;t even KNOW he&#8217;s a father, for C$ (+3 years in arrears) as blackmail to keep him out of your and the oc's lives? I&#8217;m sure that not even the psycho-nazis who dreamed up our C$ system saw that one coming&#8230;they would be proud of you!

tigger, our prayers go out to sailorman and all those who are willing to put themselves at risk for us here at home. i know it is of little consulation but he is on the best team in the world. i to wish he were here so i may possibly heed some of his advice and learn from his experiences. i am glad that you posted your story as it has allowed a few more rays of light to shine through my overcast world. thank you
msclyde, thank you for explaining who worsehalf is. it helps to learn who's stories go together. if you and your h read our posts you would have seen that we agree that in cases such as yours the system has been misused. agreed about our common grounds of gender, feelings of shame and powerlessness. although my feelings may be from the opposite side as yours. you are as disgusted with ow as i am with om (and i hate referring to him as a man). and if it weren't for some great Christian counsel from some close friends i am sure the animal cemetary would have had another hole to dig. although you are powerless as far as ow and cs are concerned, i was powerless to stop the a but feel i have some power in kicking him where it will hurt the most, in his wallet. sorry that is ME and not fh. please remember that in my situation this snake willingly (NOT EXCUSING FH IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM FOR HER PART) persued her knowing my concerns and fears that she was not her true self at that time. he would drive 15-20 miles out of his way to pop in for lunch. it was him that gave her support not to abort (i didn't know of preg. at that time) and encouraged her to keep the c.. he also told ME directly that he would pay if she wanted him to. so I am saying dig deep for the opportunity to get it on with MY w. again i am sorry for that attitude but thatis ME. and i think it sure would be nice if some of the bs/w's here had the power that i am trying to use on this chump. imagine that ow sleeps with your h. chooses to have oc THEN has to pay you retrobution. how sweet that would be for you all.

worsehalf, your comments about forced parenthood and men should have the right to choose to be a parent or not kind of amaze me. i may be assuming here but how exactly is that supposed to work? a man can be married and go outside of that marriage to knock out a little strange with any woman he finds available and because neither uses protection and HE chooses not to be a parent he forces her to have an abortion. great idea and maybe all cheating men should just carry a small black medical bag with them instead of CONDOMS!!!
how about this for choosing not to become an unwanted parent, the next time a man gets the urge to purge somewhere else other then with his wife he simply goes to the mens room and spanks his monkey alone. i ahave never heard a more myopic view in my life.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Bonniebb:
<strong>There is a much simpler way to avoid these situations....for people to not have sex outside marriage, when pregnancy would pose a problem - period! It would also help to use birth control since there are many available. While none are 100% effective they are close. To have an affair with someone and to knowingly risk pregnancy....I think you get exactly what you deserve. Whatever happened to personal responsibility? The H CHOSE to have sex - end of sentence. If they believed the OW was on birth control - shame on them! They should have protected themselves! Especially if the OW "meant nothing etc etc etc" They should have known she was lying. THESE are the consequences!</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Bonnie- The consequences you speak of are forced paternity and C$. The unjust family laws that are being discussed in this string are the exact same laws that allowed a woman who raped an unconscious man for the sole purpose of getting pregnant to later sue him for C$. Here's the link: http://www.nas.com/c4m/rape_case2.html
How was he to avoid this situation&#8230;what was his personal responsibility?
I post this to help you understand that this dicussion has nothing to do with &#8220;who&#8217;s at fault&#8221; for an unwanted pregnancy, and everything to do with the legal post-conception choices afforded only to women. You also seem to be stuck on the idea that biology is destiny (pregnancy always means a child which must have a biological mom and a biological dad.) This equation simply isn't true.

Worsehalf,<p>If you would welcome a person who threatened your life, and those of your family, go for it!! I have NOTHING to be ashamed of, and will never, ever tell xOM about this child! I know what this xOM is like, and would never invite someone like that to have any say in my child's life. Let's put it this way, he attacked my H, with our D watching in the window, and would have killed him, as he had told me he would, if he'd had the chance. So, if you think that me keeping this from a person like that is such a wrong thing to do, go ahead. I also have the police report for the harassment/assault from D-day, and will use it to do whatever I have to do to keep someone who intends harm away from those that I love. If you have a problem with that, oh well. I am paying for what I have done, and have been forgiven by those who count. You don't have the full story here, and until you do, please don't attack me. I didn't attack anyone, and was just making a statement. I am also dealing with a lot of stuff that has nothing to do with any of this that had a lot to do with the way I was feeling when I added that post. I am not looking for a fight, but I also will not back down from our(mine and my H's) decision to keep our family safe!

Worsehalf<p>I can see you are completely enraged, but attacks and disrespectful judgments against other members of this site willnot be tolerated here. We protect each other on this site, regardless of the circumstances. If they are sincere and come here for help, they deserve to be treated with kindness, diplomacy and a measure of respect.<p>Your rage and hostility is acknowledged and even accepted but DO NOT ATTACK OTHER MEMBERS HERE ON THIS SITE.<p>Please refrain from snide remarks, sarcasm, finger pointing and focus on your own problems and how to deal with them. We will help you and get you through this if we can, if you will allow us.<p>I admit I do understand your pooint of view and agree with the content, but you must watch your delivery. Everyone here is so hurt and fragile, we must treat each other with care and consideration. We do not need to agree with one another to get along and be tolerant. You do not know everyone's full story so you cannot sit in judgment. This is not the place to strike out.<p>Please, Worsehalf, your eloquence and logic is valuable here but the steamroller approach will turn others against you where you would not be welcome, and I think your opinions are pragmatic and direct.<p>We are taking up a collection to send you to charm school. That's a joke-haha<p>Catnip =^^=

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by catnip:
<strong><p>Dear BTDT<p>I think you misunderstood what I have been trying to relay and why I have gone to lengths trying to explain things in detail.</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Thanks for clarifying. I think you misunderstood some things I said too, but no biggie... I would like to think that by now, you know me better than to be personally challenging you on anything and not be supportive. [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img]
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr><strong>This is the weirdest statement, preposterous in fact, BTDT, in light of the monumental tragedy in NY that took thousands and thousands of lives instantaneously leaving behind thousands and thousands of grieving families. I would have to be a brainless vegetable not to "realize" there is suffering in NY...did you really say that and mean it that way? I'm not catching your drift here, BTDT.</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Yeah, I guess it does sound pretty stupid when you take it completely out of context like that. What I said about your H's OW "suffering in NY" had nothing to do with the terrorist travesty whatsoever, but it did have everything to do with single parenting--in and of itself. I just happen to remember you saying OW lives in NY.<p>If she lived in Boston or Brazil or Cucamonga, then there would be suffering going on in Boston and Brazil. That's all I was trying to say.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>THEN has to pay you retrobution. how sweet that would be for you all. <hr></blockquote><p>I suppose it would be sweet, for a day or two. I would think the monthly checks w/om name coming to my house each month would be a constant reminder I wasn't the father. Sort of like adoption where the birth mother sends a reminder check each month to let you know you're not the real parents. Please substitute "real" for "biological" in those statements.<p>CS for us equals a constant reminder of the horror of what has happened in our marriage. Even if it were a penny a month.<p>I agree w/Msclyde and Worsehalf on most of their "reality check" points that were made.<p>As far as Fullhouse and Pops, it's painful all around. He may soften his views in time. God will tend to those sins of all of us. In this life satisfaction sometimes does more harm then good.<p>I would love nothing more than to drive to ow's home and scream in HER driveway in front of neighbors as she did to me. I'd love to leave pictures of mine and HER H's baby soon after birth for her to find. I'd love to drive past her home screaming obsentities at her as she did to me. I'd love to walk right into her h's office and argue and not leave as she did to my H. I'd love to see her H at a gas station and take the baby from the car and walk up to him and ask him if he's like to hold his baby. I'd love to send her letters describing in detail the sex I had with her H and how wonderful it was...how her H said unkind things about her while in the A.....<p>
OOPS! Sounding bitter? YES!!! I was a different woman before ow tangled with me. I have been mostly silent....Oh! I forgot..she e-mailed me horrible things and up until last week when I completely changed my sign-on name was IM me whenever she and I were on line together. I printed and ignored them. Sent them off to my lawyer.<p>Yesterday we had all our phone numbers changed to prevent all the "unavailable" cell calls to me. I tried privacy blocking but it won't work with a cell phone. We now have another private number.<p>All I'm saying is A would have ended long ago. Ow decided in her sick mind a baby and her money would surely have my H leave home. Nothing is farther from the truth. Now after all of this time she's asking for cs....Still married. Goes around our community carrying baby on her hip as if it were her trophy!<p>I for one and H for two are SICK to death of this.<p>Prosecute? Ok. She'll have her hand smacked and continue. She can well afford any "fine".<p>
Now skipping to tigger4jdt....don't you dare leave us. Your perspective from the other side has helped me so much. The fierce protection you and sailorman have to protect your family and love for one another is inspiring. God be with Sailorman and his friends as they protect us all here *****ing about life.....
love
Debi

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by BINthereDUNthat:
<strong>
I just happen to remember you saying OW lives in NY.<p>If she lived in Boston or Brazil or Cucamonga, then there would be suffering going on in Boston and Brazil. That's all I was trying to say.</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Hahaha...BTDT. Thanks for a great morning laugh. I guess we did misunderstand each other. And I am impressed you remembered that detail.<p>I'd like to think of the OW in Cucamonga...I'm pretty good at geography, but I don't have a clue where that is...it sounds really, really far, far away.<p>Cucamonga...hahaha...you slay me. Excellent.<p>Have a great day, BTDT. Thanks for the clarifications.<p>Love<p>Catnip =^^=