Yes, I agree that we are all here to learn how to forgive our husbands..I also think letting someone vent(even if it's about the ow) is a form of support too..We don't all have to agree all the time? It's hurtful to listen to someone being told they are blind, stupid, etc..for their thoughts/feelings/opinions. True, I don't know what ow is going through, but I know what I am going through and even after all these years, I still place a percentage of the blame on ow. If it's wrong, oh well, that's what I feel...and everyone has their own way of dealing with their pain..But I will say, she's not the focus of my thoughts, My focus is rebuilding my marriage...<p>just my opinion..

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Bonniebb:
[QB]Do you mean to tell me he was sooooooooooooo sick he didn't know how to roll a condemn on? QB]<hr></blockquote><p>A condemn...hahahaha...let's all roll on condemns...<p>Does your boss know, BBB, that you are cheating him by homesteading on his computer every day when you should be giving him what he is paying you for?<p>Catnip =^^=

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Bonniebb:
[qb]<p>1. I am under the impression that this is a board about marriage healing and building. I thought I'd meet women who are in the same boat as me and are trying to really heal themselves and their marriages.<p>2. how to forgive and move on and build a better life. Yet, all I see is a lot of anger and a lot of blame. I don't see how it heals anything. <p>3. until you see that the problem lies with your H and the marriage, you've healed nothing. You want to believe she's to blame so that you can somehow justify why you are still with your H.<p>4. I am embarrassed to be a part of a group of women who don't even want to see reality. <p>5.did any of you ever stop to consider that had your H loved you the way he should, had he any honor or any respect for you, it wouldn't matter if 20 whores were chasing him naked down the road. qb]<hr></blockquote><p>Ahem, as I was saying....<p>1. Regardless whether or not anyone believes you are in the same boat with us or not...everyone here firmly and deeply believes in the Harley prinicples and Marriage Building. The comments that come from you have been the farthest things in the world, light years away, from anything remotely Marriage Building. In fact, your terrible comments and vicious attacks pretty much confirm to me that you are an OW and you are here to Marriage DESTROY.<p>2. The only person on this site that displays the kind of rage, anger, bitterness, blame and keeping wounds open and causing more hurt/harm has been, has always been and continues to be YOU..no one else<p>3. No one here just blames the OW...you just have selective listening and twist our words around and try to make trouble...you assume things and are completely innaccurate most of the time.<p>4. You're not part of this group...never have been. So don't be embarrassed.<p>5. Oh YOU, who are so without sin, keep on casting all those stones! Jesus Himself has forgiven our husbands...how can we do any less? In time, perhaps forgiveness for the OW may come...but it really doesn't matter to any of us that much...because we are basically indifferent of her and speaking for myself, she's insignificant and pointless in my life. My energies go to fixing my marriage and building a new life with purpose and meaning.<p>The kind of expectations you have of our husbands (and your obsessive focus on us to blame them) are akin to the divine! Our husbands are not Christ but imperfect men who have sinned, strayed, and to say that it wouldn't matter if they were chased by naked women is ridiculous because there was a time when that was true of my husband and true of many of the waywards here. Sometimes soimething happens in life and alters the balance for whatever reason...it doesn't mean they are lost casuses or should be shot like dogs. You continue to dismiss the history, the sublime, the magic, the good things the intensely meaningful things.<p>You don't belong here, BBB, because this IS Marriage Builders and you have done nothing except try to harm the marriages here with your disrespectful judgments and mean and hurtful comments.<p>Catnip =^^=<p>[ December 04, 2001: Message edited by: catnip ]</p>

Hello Members of the Pregnancy/Child section of the forum<p>You may continue with your discussion on this thread. I'm sorry for the interruption of the topic. I do hope you will all continue with your postings?<p>Please refrain from making reference, bashing or calling any member past or present names.<p>Thank you,

There was an interesting article in the latest Good Housekeeping (the one with Sally Field on the cover) about the role she is playing on ER as the Bipolar mother of a doctor.<p>She discussed the mercurial behavior of those afflicted with Bipolar disease and the incredible ramifications of their actions while in a manic state. She went on to explain how she spent time with Bipolars in therapy and asked many questions to better understand the illness. She learned that Bipolar people become so grandiose and arrogant when in their full manic state that they feel completely powerful and can do anything. This is how my husband was nearly the entire year in 1998.<p>She also said that it is common for Bipolar people to just disappear for long periods of time causing the family to wonder and worry what became of them. Often they commit suicide, especially the men.<p>I was glad to see the article because it validates for me and for my husband that this disease is as insane and as destructive as they come and that the network and producer of that show thought it important enough to make it an on-going topic in their medical drama series.<p>Anyway we can get the message out to others who suffer this mind-boggling disease and to people in general, there is a chance that people suffering from this disease may get the help they need early on, get the medication they need to balance their brain chemistry and lead normal productive lives without irratic and irrational behavior, without devastating consequences.<p>Oh, if only we knew years ago....<p>Catnip =^^=

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by catnip:
<strong><p>Ahem, as I was saying....<p>1. Regardless whether or not anyone believes you are in the same boat with us or not...everyone here firmly and deeply believes in the Harley prinicples and Marriage Building. The comments that come from you have been the farthest things in the world, light years away, from anything remotely Marriage Building. In fact, your terrible comments and vicious attacks pretty much confirm to me that you are an OW and you are here to Marriage DESTROY.<p>2. The only person on this site that displays the kind of rage, anger, bitterness, blame and keeping wounds open and causing more hurt/harm has been, has always been and continues to be YOU..no one else<p>3. No one here just blames the OW...you just have selective listening and twist our words around and try to make trouble...you assume things and are completely innaccurate most of the time.<p>4. You're not part of this group...never have been. So don't be embarrassed.<p>5. Oh YOU, who are so without sin, keep on casting all those stones! Jesus Himself has forgiven our husbands...how can we do any less? In time, perhaps forgiveness for the OW may come...but it really doesn't matter to any of us that much...because we are basically indifferent of her and speaking for myself, she's insignificant and pointless in my life. My energies go to fixing my marriage and building a new life with purpose and meaning.<p>The kind of expectations you have of our husbands (and your obsessive focus on us to blame them) are akin to the divine! Our husbands are not Christ but imperfect men who have sinned, strayed, and to say that it wouldn't matter if they were chased by naked women is ridiculous because there was a time when that was true of my husband and true of many of the waywards here. Sometimes soimething happens in life and alters the balance for whatever reason...it doesn't mean they are lost casuses or should be shot like dogs. You continue to dismiss the history, the sublime, the magic, the good things the intensely meaningful things.<p>You don't belong here, BBB, because this IS Marriage Builders and you have done nothing except try to harm the marriages here with your disrespectful judgments and mean and hurtful comments.<p>Catnip =^^=<p>[ December 04, 2001: Message edited by: catnip ]</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Compassion. Forgiveness. Love. Understanding.

Catnip,
Thank you, a hundred times for standing up for, and trying to shed light on an illness that is misunderstood to say the least......part of the problem is that most people are in the shame and denial mode. Not necessarily speaking of the ones we love or work with ( in my case) but society in general. Even people who touch or are touched by them in their daily lives do not want to recognize the pain that this reality brings. It is simply too close to home. It is so much easier to play the "tough love " game and hold them personally responsible for things that others do not want to deal with. Compassion and empathy are a true gift.......

last reply was from ms. clyde........sorry.

catnip...you go girl [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Anyway we can get the message out to others who suffer this mind-boggling disease and to people in general, there is a chance that people suffering from this disease may get the help they need early on, get the medication they need to balance their brain chemistry and lead normal productive lives without irratic and irrational behavior, without devastating consequences.<p> <hr></blockquote><p>Ah! But we are trying and it is "trying" at times!!! My daughter is on adderrall, zoloft, tenax, clonidine and lithium at this present time.<p>Behavioral therapy is starting to take root and we are finally seeing some headway after two years of therapy. (My D's PDOC thinks she's a hoot!) I am so thankful that we caught her early. I truly hope and pray that she will go on to lead a productive life. She is in gifted talented theatre at her school. There are a few actors and actresses' with the disease. I can name two actresses with it, Patty Duke and Carrie Fisher (Go Princess Leia!!!!)<p>Thanks for sharing and giving hope. It's rough some days.<p>Hugs,
Twiisty