Hi all,
I got married in 1999. In 2001 after a few bumps here and there in the marriage, my husband and I separated. He left me with our D who was 10 months at the time. We were intimate 3 times after the separation. Early in 2003 he moved in with the lady he was seeing. Thereafter I found out I was pregnant. During the pregnancy he denied the fact that the child was his. I lost my job, lost my car and took Dh to court for Financial Provision it was not too ugly but in the end my D and I were taken care of. About 2 or 3 months before the baby was born Dh started changing his actions towards me. We talked a bit more without arguing. I left town to go elsewhere to have the baby and during this time Dh and i started talking more. He moved out of the apartment where he was staying with his girlfriend and they ended the relationship. he visited Dh and I while we were waiting for the baby to come (it was an overseas, expensive trip, he only came once). After the baby was born and it was time to come home he came to get us and we travelled back together. Our Ds has his name.
Dh is living with his mom for now and comes over to my apartment at least 5 times a week and spends the night.
Before the separation we were building a house. he is currently building a house to be completed in the next 8 months or so.
We have talked about reconciliation and he feels that he cannot relive the bumps that occured before the separation (i was being accused of infidelity, which was not the case, but certain events would have one believe so).
I suffered extreme depression after the separation and went through a series of being an abandoned wife, and did violent things that I thought i would never do.
I am learning to have patience because i want my marriage to work and patience is what I was lacking before. I am also learning to let him be the man. But, my fear is that eventhough he sleeps over (we are intimate) and shows attention that we might not reconcile and live together as a family again.
I need some advice. At times I want to just not let him come over and tell him to make up his mind what he wants. But, at the same time I don't want to push him away.
Eventhough he says that we are still separated, i atend all family functions and we're scheduled to go on family vacation in July 04.
I just want it all to be concrete and not be wondering what will happen, when he get up and leave in the morning if he will come back that night or what I hate a life of not being sure.
Looking forward to your advice and replies.
