To all my dear old friends and new ones, I have not posted here for awhile, but have continued lurking. The last couple of months have brought much heart ache and pain to my family. I have put off posting about my present situation as I had been legally advised not to discuss it. However, I feel I could use any and all support, advise and prayers now. I have many ups and downs, things are very tough.<p> We fought for visitation for close to two years, we spent a couple of thousand to get it. We wanted the oc to know his father and siblings, things were great and we all were enjoying each other,but all that can change overnight. My dh was accused of striking the oc, the oc fell and the bruise that the fall caused, has now turned into child abuse. The pain, suffering, heart ache, and financial strain my family is now experiencing is unbearable. I used to think that contact would do all of us wonders and we would all benefit from it over time. My dh and I wanted to help the oc in ways we saw that the xow was not. Well, now we are in for another huge legal battle to clear my dh's name of the false charges against him.
I am dealing with this all as best I can. We have gone through so much and had finally thought the battle was coming to an end when we were awarded the visitation we deserved. The mother of the oc fought tooth and nail for over a year, she filled the oc's head with lies that we were having a hard time erasing, but we never thought she would have been able to convince the oc to go against his father as he did. The lies she told become so believable to the oc that he even began to believe that my dh was not his father and that his father was dead. Just when we thought things we good and the sun was shining on us, we are now in the biggest storm of our lives. <p>Once again more proof that the xow is only out for the pay check and she wants no contact and has no limits to her methods to get what she wants. Not only is this event going to ruin my dh and my lives but, she is so cold hearted that she does not see what it will do to my dear children.<p>Thanks for letting me vent, sorry this is so long.<p>Pray for my family so that we may get through this. Peace and love to you and yours. Gabi1116<p>[ November 30, 2001: Message edited by: gabi1116 ]<p>[ November 30, 2001: Message edited by: gabi1116 ]</p>

Oh gabi I'm so sorry. How can a person be so rotten. I feel so bad for you guys. Isnt the oc around 5yrs old didnt they ask him anything? There has to be some how some way that this thing that calls herself a female can be proven for what she is. I'll be praying for you guys with all my heart.
with love flowerseed

Flowerseed, the oc is over 5 years old, and yes they did interview him quite a few times. The final interview did produce what they wanted to hear so that is the one they went with. The brain washing that the mother has been doing has been going on for over a year so I can only assume that the oc is believing all the the lies. We do have high hopes with a couple of witnesses to the fall and some photos and a video. I am just trying to keep the good thoughts flowing. Thanks for the concern. Peace always, gabi1116

Gabi, <p>I was so sad for you when I read this post. You have been trying so hard to get where you were before this latest turn! I will definately pray that the Lord opens the eyes of those who need it! I will also pray for you and your family as they go through this trying time.<p>Love,<p>Tigger

Gabi,<p>I just wanted to say I'm sorry your going through this. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.<p>Unsure

Dear Gabbi,
I don't know what to say except I will pray for your family.
Your post made me remember our ow and her fight against me last summer.
I am happy we have let visitation issue go.
We can now move forward w/o constantly changing our 47 years old lives around a baby that is nothing to me.
I feel God directed my path. And my H's.<p>You've been through so much sweetie.<p>I pray the authorities see through this situation and bring closure to your suffering.<p>I wish you peace.<p>love
Debi

Gabi,
Praying for you too...Praying that the Lord will rise to your defense, and provides the means for you to keep on keeping on.<p>Sending hugs your way,<p>Twiisty

gabi,
I am so sorry that you climb one mountain to climb another. There has to be a reason for all of these tremendous struggles. You are an angel and there must be many angels holding you and your family up at this time.
I am praying for you and your situation but especially all the children involved. I am so overwhelmed with sadness I do not know what else to say. God is with you.

Oh, Dear Sweet Gabi<p>I am absolutely appalled at what is happening to you and your husband and family. Contact and visitation just isn't worth it most of the time...for anyone. That poor child cannot be himself with his mother's constant influence and her manipulating his little head and poisoning his thoughts, his spirit and his life. I am so sorry for OC, for you and your husband. What an evil and vindictive woman. I would hate to have her karma after what she has done to so many. And the courts let people like this get away with stuff like this! It is incredible to me. <p>One of my favorite commandments (next to Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery) is Thou Shalt Not Bear False Witness. What she is doing is a grave, grave sin and the outcome and the logical consequences for her "bearing false witness" against your husband will come back to smack her, if not here, then in the afterlife.<p>Gabi, stay strong...your husband too. Both of you pray, pray and pray for God's guidance and protection and His justice. These witch hunts usually happen to promote the agenda of the unjust in our system. Just know each and every one of us here will be praying for you and your husband and asking God for His mercy and justice for you.<p>Such a horrible, horrible burden to carry alone...I'm glad you let us in.<p>Love to you<p>Catnip =^^=<p>[ December 01, 2001: Message edited by: catnip ]</p>

Gabi,<p>As I expressed the other night, I'm praying for you. <p>I'm glad you "came out" to the board and will allow us to comfort you during this trying time.<p>Know that each and everyone of us is saying special prayers to see you and your family through this.<p>We love you Gabi,
Z.

Gosh, what an idiot. Doesn't even realize she is ruining her kid's life... You, your H, and your children will fare well, SHE's the loser... The sad thing is she can't even see it. But in the end, she will. What a dummy...<p>After the dust settles, will you continue contact with OC?<p>If I were you, I would try not to worry about your H's record. I'm sure the truth will come to the light. I mean, why would you guys fight for 2 years and pay thousands of dollars for the right to abuse the kid? Doesn't add up.<p>If I can see that as a complete outsider looking in, I don't see how a judge could miss it.<p>[ December 03, 2001: Message edited by: BINthereDUNthat ]</p>

Thank you all for your kind words and prayers. We have not heard much from our lawyer this week as to the status of the case. He has submitted a packet to the prosecutor in my dh defense and we are waiting for a response. With the help of the Lord I am sure it will have a good outcome. <p>I really do not know what else to say at this time but Thank you all. We are staying strong for our children and ourselves. I try to keep myself busy as to not bring me down. I promised myself years ago that the one night stand my dh had would not ruin my life. And this too will not ruin the life we have worked so hard for. We have two wonderful children and a great house that we are fixing up. The future holds only good things for those who deserve it and open their hearts to the Lord. So I pray and try to stay positive. Thanks again and Peace and Love to you all and your families. Gabi1116

Hi All, I just found this on another post and had to put it here. Binthere quoted the bible...Will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night?...He will see that they get justice, and quickly." (Luke 18:7,8)<p>I am going to pray that this will happen for us. <p>Binthere, thanks so much for the words of support I sure hope you are right. As for the issue of future contact... we have been advised by our lawyer to never have this child near our family again, and that was our criminal lawyer not our family law lawyer. Who knows what the xow will think of next, for all we know I will be the next one to get locked up. I feel that my dh should not give up all contact that is just want the xow wants and the oc needs to know his father. The oc is supposed to attend therapy, it was court ordered, and the xow has not taken him yet. I think and so does dh that maybe this will be the contact he has, attending therapy once a week, and that means there will be supervision so no one can make any false accusations. <p>Well, my family court lawyer says to fight one battle at a time so we need to get over this first hill, or should I say mountain , and then climb the others. Peace, Gabi1116

Yes Gem, Catnip did hit the nail right on the head, as she always does so well. I truely hope that the wrongs are made right and the xow sees and feels it now and not in the afterlife so as all involved can have true justice.<p>Thank you Catnip for you kind words of support and encourgment. What has keep my dh and I moving forward over the last few years was to make the wrongs that the xow were doing right, however this last twist in our road may have been the final straw and we may not be able to help the oc anymore. With the grace of the Lord we will get through this, and then maybe we can get the poor oc into some therapy, that will be our only hope. All our hard work has been for nothing, as it stands now the oc still does not even think my dh is father. We thought we had made such progress, but during an interview the oc stated that my h was not father and that father was dead and that h was just a man who came to take his place. <p>Now who could have put that idea in the oc's head??? We have a court order that clearly states that the xow should not undermine my h rights and should not direct the oc that my h is not the father. So once we clear the charges againist my h the xow will have some charges of her own to answer to, and I am sure the judge will not be happy with her. <p>Peace and love to all my dear friends, Gabi1116

Gabbi you are an "angel" and the very fact you're still worried about oc is proof.<p>Perhaps you will see justice soon.
I will pray for peace.
love
Debi

Gabii,
Still praying for you. Praying for justice. I admire you and know the Lord will honor your concern and commitment to your OC!<p>Hugs,
Twiisty

Gabi,<p>I just wanted to second Gem and Twiisty post. You are a strong caring woman to still consider OC feelings. I'm trying to do the same thing but I think exOW finally pushed H over the edge.<p>Good luck and keep praying. Unfortunately our justice system sucks and allows the guilty to falsely charge an innocent man with abuse. I know I lived it and had to pay for a lawyer to prove that I was innocent when exOW brought false charges against me. <p>
Unsure