XOW returned my phone call last night. I wanted to update her on the news that my husband's brother refuses to take the DNA test. I told her that I refuse to spend almost $600 on one without him doing it as well. She denies that he, or anyone else, but my husband, could be the father. He probably is, although he denies, vehemently, the date she has given for conception.<p>The call went ok. I got to ask her some questions that I had and she answered, then wondered why I was yelling at her. I told her that I wasn't yelling, if I were, she'd know it! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I told her that I felt angry that she tried to be my friend after that happened and that I offered for her son to come over to my house and play with my children. I told her that I felt stupid everytime I thought about it. She said that she really *did* want to be my friend. DUH! I told her that you can't do that!<p>I guess, to sum it all up, she isn't going to go after anything now, but won't make any promises. It depends upon what her son decides to do when he gets older. Apparently the 3yo "knows" who his daddy is. I asked her if she also told him "why" daddy isn't around? She didn't answer me.<p>So, we're not doing the DNA test because husband's brother won't do it. We're not paying cs because xow isn't sure how we'd treat her child as far as hugs and kisses go. She doesn't want us to have any sort of visitation. I couldn't and didn't want to, reassure her.<p>My husband and I were going to have a date last night, but I couldn't. I needed to think. I keep asking myself those questions that have no answers. I realize that God doesn't give a person more than they can handle and that is why I didn't find out right away. The information came to me when I was strong enough to handle it, at a time when I am mostly able to act out of love instead of fear.<p>I hate this not knowing!!!! I guess I should just figure that the boy is my husband's and go from there. He is showing me daily that he loves me. We are having fun together. We have fallen back in love. Maybe God is wanting this DNA thing be a difficult thing so that we'll be strong when the boy does come into our lives. I don't know. <p>I told xow that ws and i were getting along better than ever and that's what was up with us. She's like..oh, that's great..you're pissed at me, but you're ok with him??? <p>Someone stated on another thread that our ws is around almost 24/7 for us to ask them questions, to hollar, to love, to help us through this. I think that it would be possible with the xow as well if I could call her and talk to her like I do my husband. Well, that's never gonna happen!!! So, yes, that's partly why I'm still angry with her. I'm still angry with him too, but we are working thru it. <p>This is sooo long! Sorry!
Thanks for listening.
Did I do ok?

Tinlizzy,<p>I think you did O.K. Now that you have the answer to some questions that were bothering you, I would leave it alone. You're not paying CS and she's not insisting so I would drop it and move forward with my life. If you force the DNA test and find out OC is H child how will you feel? exOW will definitely go after CS once she's sure your H is OC father. And I'm sure you read the CS horror stories that were posted.<p>"She said that she really *did* want to be my friend. DUH! I told her that you can't do that!"<p>I can't believe that crap what was she thinking about?! I know that I screwed your H and then pretended OC wasn't his child but I really like you and want to be your friend! LOL I think I would have hung up on her. Good luck and keep praying.<p>
Unsure<p>[ December 03, 2001: Message edited by: UNSure919400 ]</p>

Thanks, Unsure.<p>At first I thought that I just *had* to know for sure about the OC being dh's or not. I have read all the horror stories here and don't want that either. So, I guess I will just assume that the child is his and try to let that go. I imagine that we will be dealing with this again in the future, but I suppose when the timing is right again.<p>I know, I did want to hang up on her! I do feel fortuneate that she even talks to me because I feel that it's helping me in my healing process. <p>Thanks for your support!<p>love and light,