<small>[ January 20, 2003, 10:19 PM: Message edited by: whatif? ]</small>

What if,<p>I can only say how we have handled this in the past in regards to birthdays etc., but my d father has helped her pick out presents for his wife for special occasions and I am only speaking my mind here but why on earth would your h think you would want something picked out by the ow? Even in the case of an intact "normal" home it would be the father helping the child pick something out for the mom..
Good luck with the tubes, hopefully the ear infections will end now they did with my little one.

Just in terms of ettequit, any adult can buy the gift. Or assist the child in the buying of the gift.<p>I was raised by a single mother, and had a series of step-mothers over the years. It was differnt all of the time.<p>What I have come to understand is that in non-traditional families you sort of make up the rules as you go along. When the children are pretty young (or if this is the first time the child is getting you a gift), whoever helps the child will probably be the person who does it from here on out (unless other arrangements are made).

I just found out that WH (of 5 yrs.) has been having an A with OW for 2 months. He had A with OW 13 years ago. Last month OW told WH that one of her four children is WH - a 12 yr old. WH took a paternity test and the child is his. WH wants to be in the life of the child. WH says he wants to work on our marriage. WH doesn't know if he can successfully limit contact with OW. WH wants to pay CS. OW says she doesn't want anything from him (for her child). WH suggested including child on his life insurance. OW refused. WH asked about visitation. OW said "give it some time". WH told OW to see pyschiatrist since he was dealing with so much! OW isn't thinking of the child or what her needs might be, OW just wants WH. OW recently stated that she wanted her child to have a necklace that WH has worn for 20 years (since their first affair). It seems to me that OW is being manipulative and is using the OC.<p>In your situation, don't let your H use his child. It is perfectly fine for him to select a
gift for you (from the OC). It sounds to me as if your H is trying to interject OW back into your lives (even more than she may be now). Your'e right on this one!<p>If I may ask, how did you and H, make it past the affair and get to the point that you are able to deal with the OW and OC?

If I may ask, how did you and H, make it past the affair and get to the point that you are able to deal with the OW and OC?[/QB][/QUOTE]

<small>[ January 20, 2003, 10:21 PM: Message edited by: whatif? ]</small>