Okay, folks. Leave it to me to state the obvious. Christmas is a time for coming together. Often times I&#8217;ve heard of this board referred to as a family. It appears that some of the &#8220;family&#8221; members have withdrawn at a time when they need support most or feel they have nothing big to say. There are far too many members that have not checked in. Please, let us know how things are going for you.<p>Heavenly, if you&#8217;re there, Merry Christmas!<p>Claudia

hello,
I find myself depressed. Just littel things remind me. H told me he was just seeing OW as a friend when I left to Arizona for Christmas. I wish I would of followed my instinctions and stayed home. I already purchased the tickets so ended up going. I just keep thinking what if. I finally got some answer as when it happened because my H actually wrote it down in his palm and forgot he did and he had a back up. OW due date was October 16 2001 and she had the baby right on the due date. My H had sex with her on Januray 24,26,27,and 31. It does not look good for him. He told me that he did not think she would get pregnant because on Decemeber 22 she told him that she had her period. I told him that could not be because her due date was October 16.<p>My H caught her at a bar with another man on Februray 8 and broke it off. The man is the same one who is living with her now. He was also at the bar everytime that OW and H went out and he also said hi to OW.<p>There was also a different man at the first ultra sound with OW. That man was seen with OW back in Decemeber. My H told me that OW told him that she slept with 16 men within three months but she was not seeing anyone at the time.<p>I do not understand why he would sleep with such a woman. He said he was not looking for anyone his friend introduce them. He no longer sees that friend any more.<p>We have our first session with a marriage counsleor on December 28.<p>OW has not yet contacted him. He tired calling her she hung up the phone. H left a message on her answer machine that he wanted to get a paternity test done and take responsibility for his action. No call yet.<p>I do not understand though if the guy that OW is with thinks that he might be the father why not get a paterinty test done to see? <p>
Dawn

Things are not progressing well after 8 months here. With 2 OC, and our grown children not even wanting to discuss the topic. Hopefully it won't be our last Christmas together as a family, and the thought really makes me sad and teary eyed.<p>Our visitation still has not resumed because of OW and H afraid to upset the 3year old. We had planned on this week having oc over to open presents, she was waffling back and forth whether she wanted to come or not, H called OC saturday and talked to her and she said she wanted to come, then this morning OW said OC was hesitant to come. I told H not to push it and ruin Christmas for little girl, and me for that matter. Ow told H that she didn't think OC cared if H even came to watch her open presents. We had sent OC a Xmas card inviting her over to our house, and OW told H that OC said she didn't want to see me. Real confidence builder there.<p>OW was in her low mood today, and H told me he actually asked her what was it that she expected would happen after having the OC, and she told him she had expected a lot more emotional support from him. You would have thought she would have figured it out after not getting her emotional support after having his first OC. <p>We are still in counselling with a wonderful therapist. She does not take any crap from H when he strays from the topic at hand. But like she told me I am still grieving the loss of my 26 yr. marriage, and with all this turmoil over visitation we are at constant odds with each other. H and OW are still letting OC call the shots, makes my blood boil. Funny when we don't discuss OCs we get along ok. <p>Tina

Oh goodness. I posted a long one and wasn't logged in!<p>Just wanted to say that I hope we all think of Christmas as Jesus's birthday. Celebrate His love.<p>Commercials have a way of making us feel we don't measure up. Truth be told a lot of people are sad and lonely during this time of year. Many have lost family members and miss them even more during the holidays.<p>Our men and women at war are lonesome and frightened.<p>The 911 victims are lost and sad.<p>I pray for God to allow each and evey one of us to know His peace and love during this stressful time of year.<p>Blessed holidays to all.<p>love
Debi

[QUOTE]Originally posted by gemini1:
[QB]Commercials have a way of making us feel we don't measure up. /QUOTE]<p>Im saying! Have you guys seem those stupid Lexus commercials!? Anyone who can surprise their H with a Lexus has wayyyyyyyyyy too much $ to play with. Maybe Im a little jealous, but come on! Heres your new Lexus honey? Never in my lifetime.<p>Anyways, I am here and hanging in here so far. A little emotional, but I blame it on hormones.<p>I love you all and pray you all have a wonderful Christmas with your families.<p>Love<p>bw

happy_girl here. just checking in to say hi to all and wish you all a merry christmas and happy new year. i don't get here much anymore, but always remember the wonderful people i met here and all the help i got. <p>things here are good. we are almost 5 years into recovery. marriage is wonderful and we are expecting our first baby in july of 2002. <p>that is scary, since it will mean a little less than 5 years between OC and our child. but we will deal with all that when we have to. we have no contact with OC and OW has stayed out of our lives, happily spending $650 a month in CS. <p>my prayers for all of us, especially those that are sad and depressed right now. <p>happy_girl