I recently read the book, and thought it was excellent, but I can't for the life of me figure out what my H's "love language" is. I knew immediately what language he uses to show love - Acts of Service - but the book said that often what they do isn't their love language; they may just be showing love the way their parents did. I've narrowed it down, I think, to Acts of Service, Physical Touch, or Affirmation. I'm not even sure what mine is. I thought at first mine was Affirmation, but maybe that's just because it has been so lacking in our marriage. <P>I got the impression from the book that it wasn't supposed to be so hard to figure this out. Is it usually more obvious?

Nellie, I don't think it is supposed to be easy, necessarily. There exist somewhere worksheets for helping to nail it down. Don't forget that most of the people in Chapman's examples were still together and working on their marriages in some way.<P>I think when they are "insane" as they are when having an affair, it may be nearly impossible to figure out what love language they may use. Try to think back to the happier times - maybe even before children, before marriage, even - and try to remember what kinds of actions on your part elicited acts of service on his part...<P>I wish I could be more helpful, but I am struggling with the same kind of problem - my husband is seldom the same person I knew when we married and during the early years of our relationship ... that person IS still in there, but he doesn't show up very often these days.<P>terri

I loved this book. It has helped my husband and I figure out what is wrong with the way we are expressing love to each other. It was difficult for me to pin point mine, but my H was very easy to figure out.

Wonderful book. <P>My husband promised me a year ago last February to read the book. He hasn't yet. Now I am trying to get him to read just two chapters and he still won't do it.<P>I will keep hoping and praying.<P>My own languages were hard to figure out. I seemed to need all of them. Now I have it narrowed down to two. I still like the other languages too though. <P>------------------<BR>God bless you and all of us.<P>Samantha<BR>