I have a question for those who have great lawyers and are on the ball so to speak.<p>I am thinking of getting a new lawyer as I feel that the one that H and I had didn't take me into consideration at all. I want to get my homework done now, so that "if" and "when" (hopefully NEVER!) OW does anything else, I will be ready.<p>Could y'all tell me what to look for? How did it work for you? I admit, I am terrible at finding lawyers. I got screwed over in my divorce and then I got screwed by my H's atty too. OW didn't even have an atty!!!! <p>I wish I found you all when D-Day occured so I didn't make the mistakes that I did, but I am glad that it worked out for us anyway...I just want to be prepared for the future as much as I can. (And to me, that means a new atty. I have some time to save for a retaining fee again.) <p>I welcome any advice, experiences, cautions whatever in my search for ATTY 2002....<p>Thanks and Hugs,
Twiisty [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img]

Twiisty,<p>I did a lot of talking and explained a lot of the situation to H attorney myself. I think he sensed I was a major part of this. When he made a suggestion I didn't agree with I calmly explained why I didn't agree with him and we moved forward.<p>When H and I explained how exOW and her sister tried to attack me in court last time he said why don't you stay home? H and I will give you a blow by blow detail report of what happened in court. I told him my H and I going through this together was agreed upon when I decided to support contact and not divorce him. I also told him if exOW couldn't deal with the fact that H and I are still together and have moved forward with her life that's her problem she wasn't going to stop me from being there with my H. He agreed 100% with me and said I just figured it was make thing go smoothly and made a joke about him having to be my body guard and said I'll see you in court on Thursday. <p>I know that your are deaf. I have a slight hearing loss in both ears that causes me talk a little loud sometimes especially in noisy area's. I also picked up the habit of reading lips so I'm not always saying "huh what". (Which causes people to think they have something on their face or make guys think I'm flirting with them) [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] I only mentioned this because I wasn't sure if signing was your only way of communicating. I remember you saying your dumb lawyer must have thought deaf meant dumb. But if you and your can take a stand and let the lawyer know we are in this together than you will feel included and the lawyer will treat you that way. <p>Good luck you are such a sweet person. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.<p>Unnsure

Unsure,<p>I wear a hearing aid in my left ear (the good ear) and I have no hearing at all in my right ear. I read lips and was mainstreamed in school as a child. I have no trouble talking and do so quite well and I can hear on the phone with proper amplification. <p>As for speaking, I have over 13 years of speech therapy under my belt! I know very little sign language and I am kinda stuck between the deaf world and the hearing world. I don't belong in deaf culture because I don't sign and I can *talk* and I don't belong in the hearing world as I can't hear and it's difficult at times. So I belong to a world all myself!!! LOL!!!!<p>I often wonder if my being a HOH (Hard of hearing) has any bearing on why my H did what he did, but that's just my self-esteem taking a plunge at times. It had nothing to do with my being hearing impaired and I KNOW that.<p>I read lips too, up to a paragraph...it's funny how I get some things twisted...hence my nickname...lol!!!<p>Thanks for your kind words, I will be thinking of you and praying for you and your family this holiday. Hope to get to chat with you soon...<p>hugs,
Twiisty

Twiisty,<p>Thank you for replying. It's a sensitive subject. And I didn't want you to think I was being insentive. I think if you take a stronger stand with your new lawyer and tell him/her you want to be included in everything then they will have no problem with that. (heck your helping pay the bill) My H told our lawyer there was no secrets between us and he can give me messages to relay to him. So your H should take a stand also.<p>I know as I get older I will be required to wear an hearing aid. But I try not to be overly sensitive, as for getting things twisted while reading lips I've been there and done that. My friends and family are used to me now. I can laugh at some things too. <p>"I often wonder if my being a HOH (Hard of hearing) has any bearing on why my H did what he did, but that's just my self-esteem taking a plunge at times. It had nothing to do with my being hearing impaired and I KNOW that."<p>Your right look at the group of women around us. All of us look better and have more morals than exOW's. It's something that our H's have to deal with they have to figure out why they were so weak. <p>Good luck on your search for a better lawyer because you defintely need to get rid of the one you have now. Thanks for your well wishes I'll keep you and yours in my thoughts and prayers. Hopefully we'll chat soon. <p>
Tee<p>[ December 20, 2001: Message edited by: UNSure919400 ]</p>