It seems OW called H yesterday and announced that she needed more "structure" in her life and is filing for support.<p>H took it very well and told her he actually welcomed it so that he could get DNA and some "structure" to the situation for himself as well. <p>He said something that really ticked her off. He told her that he expected it eventually and was lucky getting by with the amount we were paying her. She says to him, "that was a fuqued up thing to say." And he says.. what do you expect me to pay more not even knowing if it's mine or not? (three cheers for H)<p>Anyway, H's frat brother who specializes in family law will be representing him. (and he loves me!) So it won't cost us an arm and a leg in fees.<p>Soooo ladies... we are gearing up for the court battle. I guess we got over on $150/mth for a whole year... reality will set in now.<p>Anyway, I'm o.k. with it. I guess I'm numb to her bullshyt.<p>H is going to slip in the next convo that we will be suing for custody if she goes for c.s. And if that doesn't rattle her, I'm gonna have our attorney draw up a civil complaint for personal injury. <p>Let the games begin.<p>Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.<p>Z.

Hi zebrababy,
Well, if the blood test comes back and your H is not the father, maybe you can sue her to get all your money back! Would you? Just curious...<p>Another thing is, if I were you, I would not try to look good on paper when you start documenting your income. If you show a bunch of residual income and savings, then the court may assume that you have a bunch of extra money to give to OW. I don't know how it works in your state, but *I* suggest that you try to make it look like you are strapped...<p>Not saying you should lie, but the less funds you have available, the less they can demand of you...

Can you explain to me what a civil complaint for personal injury is? I am interested in hearing more about that.<p>I will be interested in how your case turns out. How fortunate you know someone who specializes in family law! Please keep me updated....<p>My topic dujour seems to be atty's and family law lately LOL!!!! I just want to be informed.<p>Hugs to you and I will be praying for you...
Twiisty<p>Hope to get to chat with you again real soon!
[img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Z,<p>Did you guys keep any receipts for the money you gave her. Was it cash or money order? A good things is that they have to go by H income only not yours. And BTDT is right get rid of any savings you guys have. Or put it in an account that's in your name only.<p>Having a lawyer is the best thing. I feel so much better knowing our lawyer wasn't going to take her crap. If I was you I would look up Paternity testing online or a local lab. Sometimes it's a lot cheaper than court ordered testing. That's what I did and I paid $400. If the court had done it they were going to charge us $680. Email me if you want me to direct you to the site we used, I have their 800# too.<p>Tee<p>P.S. Joint custody is the way to go you pay less CS and H has a say in OC life. If exOW wants to play the game let her deal with the consequences.

Z,<p>Wow, only $150.00 a month! Awesome. Well, a year is better than nothing! I hope that court goes well. Let us know...<p>Like Twiisty i am interested in hearing more about filing a civil suit for personal injury. <p>Unsure,
If h were to file for joint custody, would we have to see the child? That is probably a stupid question, but since you said that is the way to go - being that cs is lessened that way... but i don't want h to have anything to do with child, but i also don't want to pay so much in cs. Probably can't have both huh? <p>Julia

the reason we refuse to file for any kind of custody, joint or otherwise (even to save money) is that we didn't want the child to think that we filed for the rights to visit her and then we chose not to. <p>We didn't want the child to have a false sense of hope in anyway. She will have enough issues to wrestle with, without that added sting of seeing that we would have/could have had visitation and we chose not to.<p>I felt that it would be best to be honest about it from the beginning. Therefore the child (and the mother for that purpose )would have no false hope and build it up in their minds. H agrees. <p>That's just why we never filed for joint etc. H gave OW sole care and custody of the child. (Which surprised her greatly as she told me on the phone on D-Day and I quote, "I don't think H has the heart to sign away the child") Apparently she got over it quick....word is that she's engaged...and this is after busting her butt and my H's butt for two years trying to "force" him to be a part of OW/OC's lives...go figure!!!!<p>Hugs,
Twiisty<p>[ December 21, 2001: Message edited by: twiisty ]</p>

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>H is going to slip in the next convo that we will be suing for custody if she goes for c.s. And if that doesn't rattle her, I'm gonna have our attorney draw up a civil complaint for personal injury. <p>Let the games begin.<hr></blockquote><p>You go Zebrababy! You and H finally seem to have it all together.<p>Prayers all goes ok.<p>I tried a civil action but lawyer wouldn't hear of it in Ohio you can't do an alienation of affection thing any more.<p>love
Debi

Julia,<p>The only reason I told Z to file for joint custody is because she used to have contact with OC. And probably will again. If she going to have OC as a part of her life then she might as well take a stand with exOW. You definitely pay less CS. <p>I agree with Twiisty I wouldn't get joint custody and never see the child. I'm pretty sure that would cause OC more emotional damage than this messed up situation. My h will probably try visitation early spring. I told him I'm willing to try but if we do have visitation and it works, I want him to go after joint custody. If I'm going to eventually have this child staying nights at my house, and have to support and feed her while she is there. Then exOW is going to receive less CS. <p>Unsure