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Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 22
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 22 |
I AM DEVESTATED!! I RECEIVED A LETTER(10/00) FROM THE OW(I DIDN'T KNOW THIS AT THE TIME) WHO STATED THAT HER AND MY H OF 8 YRS. HAD AN AFFAIR 4 YEARS AGO AND A C WAS THE RESULT.HE DENIED IT AND OF COURSE I BELIEVED HIM. ON 11/29/01 I FOUND A LETTER FOM MY H TO OW STATING THAT HE IS SORRY THAT HE HASN'T HELPED HER AND THAT HE HOPES TO GIVE HER FINANCIAL HELP IN THE NEAR FUTURE. I AM STILL IN SHOCK. HE STATES THAT HE WAS HER FRIEND FOR 6 MONTHS AND THE SEXUAL PART ONLY WENT ON FOR 1 MONTH. I CAN'T BELIEVE ANY THING HE SAYS AT THIS POINT. I'M STILL TRYING TO DEAL WITH THE AFFAIR. WE HAVEN'T STARTED TO DEAL WITH THE OC!! HELP!
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 312
Member
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Member
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 312 |
Jordy, Our stories are similar except for the denial part. Our exOW also put a letter to me on my car in Nov. of 2000. See my whole story under post titled "tryin4sainthood".<p>I am sorry you are joining us here. Is your H willing to go to counseling? He needs to stop all contact with OW right now. If he has not been financially supportive, that will come so be prepared. He needs to tell OW that he cannot speak with her while you are recovering and he must stick to it.<p>You are in the early, early stages of recovery. I hope your h will begin to be totally honest with you so you may begin the healing process. Hang in there and post often. I will be praying for you.
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 2,342
Member
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Member
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 2,342 |
jordyjordy I am glad you have found this site. I hope you will read as much as you can on the Harleys Principals.<p>You need a counselor quick. If your H won't go yet do it alone. <p>Your H must disconnect from ow regardless of oc now. If he wants you and is serious with the exception of a few set backs that sometimes happen when they are so guilt ridden they don't know what to do, he must stop all contact. <p>You two must focus on yourselves and take steps necessary to begin the healing process.<p>The fact that he lied for a year represents how frightened he was of destroying your marriage. Wrong to do,,,but understandable when you're scared.<p>I know all too well the devastation you are feeling. I promise you although not easy you will survive this. <p>I will pray for your peace today.<p>Come here often to vent and in the meanwhile read all you can from this wonderful life saving site.<p>love
Debi
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