I saw a post where you mentioned that you're a kindergarten teacher. One of my children is a daughter who is in kindergarten. My h and I will be getting divorced and I wonder what advice you might be able to give me concerning my daughter. We are all still living together (and probably will until the divorce is final, about 5 months) so there has not been a drastic change in that way yet. My h and I are divorcing amiably (never understood before how that could happen) but things have been quite strained in our home for the past year. Maybe you can't help but I thought I would ask! Thanks!

Hello Callie,<p> I don't think I'm an expert or anything but I will tell you from my personal and educational experience. Children want their world to remain the same. That always doesn't happen. Having an amicable divorce seems to be the best for all involved though it can be difficult. The children I've seen struggle in school are the children that were being used as pawns by their parents. They are not bargaining chips and never should be. I know from my own exerience and I don't care if it goes against MB principles because I've been here almost 2 years and have done everything, but I think Plan B can be very damaging. My children felt very insecure during the whole 10 months I went that route and they acted out in various ways. My second grade daughter still will say to me, "You'll alwyas be there for me, right Mom?" I think she needs to hear that verbal reassurance. <p> It seems to me that if both parents keep involved in the children's lives and express to the children that they love them and make a real effort to get along it can be done well. I have a cousin who is divorced and she and her ex live on the same block and have shared custody. That is extreme but kind of the idea. I think children want reaasurance that both parents will always be there. They don't want to think it was ever their fault. They don't want to see the 2 people they love most at each other's throat. If those things can be prevented - more power to you. I don't know if this was any help but it sounds like you are already doing the right thing by being concerned about it's effects on your daughter. Good luck and feel free to ask me anything.
Kris