<p>[ February 14, 2002: Message edited by: mnca6713julia3 ]</p>

Julia,<p>Did exOW lose her job? If not how was she paying her rent all this time? What happened to medical insurance? If she doesn't have it tell her the clinic gives free or low cost care. Your H owes exOW nothing! He only owes CS if DNA test proves OC is his. I can understand why you are upset.<p>"scraggly whore" Good one! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] lol<p>
Did you ask H why he thinks he needs to pay her rent? Good luck and stand firm. <p>
Unsure<p>[ January 04, 2002: Message edited by: UNSure919400 ]</p>

FIND ANOTHER PASTOR!!! One who knows scripture (Sarah and Abraham) and believes in Retrouvaille and who's thinking is in align with Harley's principles.<p>Apparantly, this pastor is NOT putting your marriage first....he is one of those 'new age' kind of liberal thinking people who follows the herd.<p>Not one dime until DNA results are in, Julia...I'm 200% with you. <p>God takes care of the children...and if the XOW is stupid and selfish enough to keep a kid she can't afford or have the stability to offer the kid a decent home with advantages, then shame on here for keeping it and causing everyone so much undue heartache, damage and ruining everyone's lives. I know, I know, spouse did this...but he did not sign up for fatherhood and he has absolutely nothing to say about it.<p>One more thing...who paid her rent for all the months and years before she found a mealticket?<p>Catnip =^^=<p>[ January 04, 2002: Message edited by: catnip ]</p>

Julia, <p>I have thought of you often. I always tell myself that I wouldn't put up with this if we didn't already have kids. No way. I've never been there there, so I don't know that for sure.<p>I at least would've went out and spent the $600! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I agree...get a new pastor!

Well, when ow found out she was pregnant, she decided that it wasn't a good place to raise a baby in her old place with two female roomates so she decided to move and get a 2 bedroom apt alone!
She moved a couple months ago. <p>I try to tell h that- that is HER problem, not ours. he just doesn't understand. I cannot make him understand, you guys. It is sooo frustrtating. He said she guilted him into helping her pay for rent. i just hate this sooo much. <p>Why the hell is this happening??!!<p>I just want to tell you all that i am such a fool for staying with h this long. We don't have children, i do love my h, i love God more, and i mostly stay because it is painful to not be with h. I don't want to get a divorce, that was never an option for me - but i wonder if it is now. <p>I don't have a car right now or else i would have gone shopping and i would have doubled the amount that she got, hell - tripled it! I am still planning on renting a uhaul truck for Monday, the 7th and driving it home with the rest of my stuff.
I just don't want to ever have to look back here, ever. <p>I told h that when i do leave, don't bother to call me, if there is a problem he can email me, but only if it is an emergency or letting me know he will move to california before April (due date). I also told him that he can send me $400.00 - 500.00 every first of the month to make sure that my rent is paid!!!!! I am still his first responsibility and he needs to face the consequences. He got all mad at that! Tough [censored]!<p>Please pray for me, guys. This stupid life is just tearing me apart.<p>Have you guys heard the song, "its been awhile" by Staind?... I had it on REPEAT very loudly so that my h could hear it in the other room. It reminds me of Him and how he f----d up my life.<p>
Tonight he told me this in regards to moving...
"you are asking me to cut off my hands if my hands were my job" - they are what sustains me, our livelihood, I can't just cut them off" I said, "well, if your hands are your job, then i must be your head, which would you rather cut off? your hands or your head?" He said, i don't want to have to work at Taco Bell in Ca..." Blah blah blah, See he is just making excuses, the man has a degree in Sociology, Criminology emphasis, has been a cop for almost 6 years. What makes him think he is going to have to work at Taco Bell in Ca? He just loves his job, hope he enjoys MN, and i hope it can fill the place of a wife! oh i am mad, can anyone tell?<p>[ January 25, 2002: Message edited by: mnca6713julia3 ]</p>

Julia,<p>oh honey, I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. I can't begin to know how you are feeling right now but I'm here if you want to talk. I'll stay on for a bit to see if you respond...<p>Huge hugs
Jules

(((Julia)))<p>I know that this is so hurtful! I'm sorry that things are turning out this way for you.<p>I don't think that you are a fool. I think that you love your husband and wanted to try to work this out. If you do leave, it's with the knowledge that you tried your best to work on your relationship, to accept the fact that he did this AND has oc coming. <p>I feel that it's too much for him to ask you to allow him to pay her rent and all that crap. I imagine it's flattering to a man to have two women wanting him so much that maybe he doesn't know what to do! He probably wants to keep both of you in his good graces. I doubt that unless you two become a team regarding how you're going to handle ow/oc, that it will work...regardless of where you live.<p>Have you ever considered a Marriage Builder's Weekend or phone couseling with the Harley's?<p>Last night there was a commercial on for c.d.'s that featured all of these love songs. They were pretty much all wedding songs, but beautiful. I told my husband that if I had a gun, I woulda shot the t.v.!!!! LOL!!!! It's so sad thinking back and the promises made and what went wrong and it's hard to believe that we're in this place now.<p>Trust me, it's not easy staying and I'm sure that it's not easy leaving. I pray for the best for you with whatever you choose. <p>tinlizzy

Praying for you Julia....and wanted to let you know that my H hasn't forgotten to e-mail your H...maybe from my H's persepective and such maybe your H might see a little bit through your (Our) eyes.<p>I will get on my H tonight to send it off...He is home for four days this weekend so he can catch up.<p>I am thinking about you and might try to call ya again later...<p>Hugs and praying,
Twiisty

Julia,<p>Im so sorry, maybe we can move in together. Sart a MB community for real. All of us who are sick of the [censored] can go go go!!!!!1<p>Im venting!<p>Love ya
bw