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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 3
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Kalalay Offline OP
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Why am I smiling. That was 13 years ago, I had to think about myself, and my unborn child. My H was an adult, he knew what he was doing. I couldn't let myself feel anything for him, not hatered, not anger, not even a feeling of loss, I couldn't feel sorry for myself, or for him. At first of course I was devestated, crying uncontrolably, praying for guidence. I was alone, I hadn't any family, and I knew his would not support me in this. When out of no where I had strength, the kind of strength I had never before known. No matter how much it hurt, and no matter what he said, and how much I wanted to believe him, I had to be true to myself. When he denieded it, and said he loved me. I had to turn the other cheek. This was not love, yes we are human, and we all make mistakes, but spending the entire night with another woman, and calling me at 9:00 am from his office trying to lie about taking out a client. Instead of being the man he protested to be, In love with me. To tell me he was sorry, and as soon as he realized what he was doing he got up and got out of there. Could I forgive him, would I forgive him" This is love, it may sting a bit every once and a while, but the sting heals, it goes away with true love and real promise from the heart. Not made up lies to cover your gulity tracks. This says Ok you think you caught me this time, but you are wrong , and I can't admit to it, because then I would have to promise that I will never do it again, and maybe even see a marriage counselor. Why? not when I want to see the OW again, or stay out drinking, or what ever it may have been that your H's may have done. I did it on my own. Today Im married to a Christian man, he is the sweetest most loving, caring, and sincere man that I have ever met. If I had let myself feel for my H then, today my daughter and I would be posting bail at least once a year, going to AA meetings and saying goodbye over and over again to him, as he would enter yet another drug rehabe. His life spirilled down hill after that night, and I refused to let him take me or our daughter with him. She is a happy, healthy, and christian child of the Lord. He closed the door on what he knew wasn't any good for us, only to open the door to what he knew would help us, and bring us closer to him. I am so inlove with my husband today, and we have been together for 11 years. He told me just the other day that I haven't a clue as to how inlove he is with me. At our dinner prayers we each have a turn saying something if we would like, and I always thank God for my husband and family, but I pray for us never to take each other for granted, this includes the chirldren also. Not taking our love for granted is one of the biggest factors that helps us love each other more. I could go on and on, but Im sure you get the idea now. If you take care of yourself, then the Lord will take care of you...

Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 293
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 293
Empowering! Good for you. I am glad that worked out for you, it is wonderful to hear a success story once in a while - especially from someone in this particular forum...

Just curious, did your h get ow pregnant?

God bless,
Julia


Joined: Jan 2002
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Kalalay Offline OP
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Joined: Jan 2002
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As a matter of fact she became pregnant right after my daughter was born,at first everyone thought it was on purpose, jealouse they said. About a year after her son was born, my mother-law insisted that child wasn't her son's. (my Husband) so DNA tests were done. Believe it or not my mother-law was correct. Her son wasn't his.
I guess he forgot to tell her that he had a week sperm count, we had to go to specialest's inorder to concive my daughter and take medication. Yet this wasn't my mother-laws reasoning, hers was, "he just doesn't look like one of us" what ever that meant she proved herself right. Needless to say he never married her, not because the child wasn't his, but because by then he was seeing someone else, and planning to move in with her... LOL this is his pattern. A year or two with one then onto the next. Never inlove with any of them, just wants someone to take care of him, and have a good time. I was the longest relationship he had ever had almost six years, and marriage. I refused to have my child anywhere near drinking and doing drugs on my coffee table daily. I guess these other woman didn't and still don't care.

Joined: May 2001
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Wow, your story is amazing.

Thank you for sharing!!!



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