Hmmmm. Very good, BTDT. A perspective I hadn't considered at all. Thanks for enlightening me.<p>Catnip =^^=

Wow, catnip, thanks for saying that. It means a lot to me--coming from you. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Looking back, it was another mistake for me to name OC after MM. If MM's name is not attached to OC, then the military asking for MM's name and address would not have been an issue whatsoever. I named OC after MM's last name out of fear of something happening to me. I never got MM's or his wife's permission, I just did it and it was allowed. It shouldn't be allowed. More thought should have gone into that decision. I regret it and OC knows this.<p>There is a lot of divorce in my family so different last names didn't phase me. ME, ME, ME... what about OC??? Didn't think of that, did I? It just makes me shake my head but it's done now and there is no going back. Men don't change their names when they get married, either! [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by BINthereDUNthat:
<strong>Men don't change their names when they get married, either! [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] </strong><hr></blockquote><p>Personally, I think it is stupid for a woman to change her name to her husbands name anyway because it makes it so hard for people to find her like old friends, the year book people from school, etc.<p>Don't feel so badly about the 'me' syndrome, BTDT, because we were all 'me' oriented when we were young and self-absorbed...I was horrible beyond belief. You did what you thought was best at the time, but more importantly, today you see it all-the big picture- and have evolved into the selfless and caring person you have become.<p>You've come a long way, Baby.<p>Catnip =^^=

I might not be what I was, thank the Lord, and I might not be where I need to be, but I'm on my way!!! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] With God's help we'll all get to where He wants us to be...<p>Wonder if obratti1 has abandoned her thread??? Hmmm... oh well. Hopefully everything is all right.<p>Incidentally, OC is disqualified from applying to any branch of the military due to health issues (asthma)... Just thought I would mention--another thing that makes me wonder if OC's good health was cursed because of my sin... Maybe so and maybe not, but it has to make one wonder... ("...the curse causeless shall not come." Proverbs 26:2)

Good Morning!! I'm still here...lurking. I've spent some time pondering the changes this new twist might bring. All I can really do is wait and see what develops. A few days have gone by and I've gotten to that stage where you wonder if maybe you imagined it or read something that wasn't there. I dunno. Still a bit confused over here. I've thought about what you said about "teaming" with the W. I understand what you're saying, I just don't know if it applies. I'm not really trying to be the W's best friend. I don't expect her to confide in me. I am and always will be the OW, regardless of how that came to be. I represent that weak moment in her marriage and, because of Jonas, will always be a reminder. For "us", I defined working as a team as me, xMM and W cooperating to do what is best overall. Coming in with a hidden agenda and being sneaky undermines the concept of "team building". When I say team, it is only in direct relation to Jonas and situations that may involve him. Aside from that, I have no part in their marriage. I would have to be a bit loony (well, okay, I'm already loony) to expect and/or desire more. We're not friends, but we are linked and should find a way to co-exist peacefully. We've been doing that and it has been pretty darn good. As long as we're all honest in our efforts, I think we'll continue to do okay.<p>OB1

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by ohbratti1:
<strong> For "us", I defined working as a team as me, xMM and W cooperating to do what is best overall. ...We're not friends, but we are linked and should find a way to co-exist peacefully...As long as we're all honest in our efforts, I think we'll continue to do okay.
</strong><hr></blockquote><p>I definitely agree with you on this. No one can knock your cooperative attitude regarding your son. I think you have everything to gain.<p>In time, the true motives of MM will surface, and when they do, I hope that you can stand up to him in whatever way you see fit--if necessary--to maintain that atmosphere of respect and cooperation.<p>Was listening to a sermon over the weekend and he said, "We tend not to respect someone that we can deceive." This made me think of WS's and how bad their attitudes can be toward BS's at times, and perhaps one reason why MM in your case may be disrespecting his wife so... (?) Just a guess, maybe???<p>I don't know if you believe in spiritual things, but prayer is one approach you can take. Maybe pray for MMs marriage and for MMs finances--that God would prosper him, and also for MMs decisions to be divinely directed of the Lord, esp. where this possible move is concerned. Who knows? Perhaps his move will be to that 2nd place after all!?!?!<p>Keep the faith! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Thanks! Encouragement and support sure goes a long way.