My name is Staci(33) and I have been married to H(35)for 8 yrs now. He has a son(17) from a previous marriage and we have no children together. We have had 2 m/c’s.
Over a year ago my dh had the A. And it has produced a beautiful little girl and she will be 6 months old in a couple of days.
After finding out about the A, I of course went into the “I hate you, I want a divorce” mode. He had asked me for a separation BEFORE I found out and I didn’t find out until after I moved out on my own. After finding out about A and the upcoming baby, I was very stressed and depressed. That is when I had my 2nd miscarriage, not even aware that I was pregnant.
Knowing that I needed to tell H about the m/c, I contacted him and he agreed to meet me and discuss the latest events in our lives. He came to my apartment and was amazed that I was doing so well. He, on the other hand, was not doing well. He looked awful. He began crying and telling me how badly he had messed up and what he wanted. He wanted to get through all the mess and then win me back. He told me how much he loved me, how I was his soul mate and how he wished he hadn’t made the mistake he had made. At this point I was pretty callous to what he was saying. It was then that I told him about the m/c. He was shocked and wanted to know why I didn’t tell him I was pregnant. I told him that I didn’t even know, so how could I tell him. He then began to cry harder, and if you have ever seen a grown man actually cry you know it is the worst thing to see. He reached out and hugged me. I was unprepared for the rush of sorrow and pain that coursed through me. I broke down and cried. I KNEW that I loved him. I could live without him, but I didn’t WANT to. This was the man that I had conceived 2 children with and had lost them both, one with him knowing it was happening and the other neither one of us knew. We talked long into the night and just held each other. It was then that we started talking about getting back together.<p>Now we are in the mist of the MelluvaHess called custody. And the reasons behind this are...
This is the OW’s 3rd child… she gave the first one up for adoption.. and the 2nd child was removed from her custody due to failure to protect him from her ex-boyfriend that beat him with a dog leash. [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img]
She originally didn’t want the baby… she told H that she couldn’t raise her and she was going to give her up for adoption because he was staying with me. Now, she has changed her tune and wants to keep the baby. But the only reason she wants her is so that she feels that she still has a shot at getting my H back… fat chance.
All she wants to do is cause my H and I pain. She has used this little angel as a pawn in a heartless game of “if you won’t be with me, than I will not allow you in the child’s life” and several other mind games.
H (with me beside him and maybe behind, pushing to do the right thing) was the one to go to court to legitimate the baby. He had asked OW for a DNA test and she had planned to get it done during her amniocentesis but when H told her he was not leaving me, for her, she cancelled her amnio altogether. When he filed to legitimate the baby, she called left a voicemail, telling him, “If you wanna be an a**hole about this, we will see who can be the biggest b!tch over this s***! OK, We will let the court decide!” The court ordered the test the day before she delivered. She began trying to induce herself. She would call and tell him that the baby was coming, and then a week or two later she would call again with the same claim. [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Needless to say, I am still dealing A, the custody fight and the aftermath of it all, but I love this little girl. And I don’t want to see anything happen to her. We are hoping that in the future we can get full custody of her and maybe someday I can adopt her and we can raise her as our own. I know that OW will fight tooth and nail hoping to keep me out of the picture, but as long as H and I are together she is just going to have to deal with it. <p>I am sorry for the long post, but I wanted to introduce myself and give some background. I hope I can learn something from those of you that have been through the process. I know I could use all the information and ideas I can get.<p>Thanks to Dawn71, Broken Wings and Twiisty for leading me to this board. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]
