I am at the edge,
I know we are divorced but I still had a hope in reconciliation in future - 1, 5 10 yrs, whenever.
Now the life is gone, they are probably going to marry (if the did not do that aerlier), he is going to be a proude father(maybe of a boy for a change), and I've lost the only person I ever loved forever.
I am still wondering how the OW is brave to do anything to keep him by herself.
When I was pregnant for the third time, 10 yrs ago he didn't want another child, and Iwas in a sort of psychic turmoil, and started bleeding and lost not only one, but twin babies. I have to admitt that they would not be borne even if there were no complications.
3 yrs ago when I again wanted one more baby he did not (we have grown daughters, we can start to enjoy life now....etc-and he really started to enjoy and have fun, obviously).
I am sad, I am mad, I am jellous, I want to scream, I want to call OW, I wamnt to do something, but mostly I cry and have no hope in future, see the lonely life in front of me , without him in it.
I still love him, I need him, my girls need him and I know that OW only wants and needs his money.<p>How to continue, what to do, is there any hope for us to be together again?<p>Can the pain go ?<p>Is there any happiness in the life?<p>How to live?<p>[ January 11, 2002: Message edited by: betrayed and desperate ]</p>

BAD,<p>I'm sorry you're going through this. I can feel your pain. I can't really give you any advice. I just wanted you to know someone was thinking about you. I think you should try and move forward with you life and not speculate as to why OW is pregnant. You have two kids to think about, OW true colors will come out eventually and their relationship will probably come to a end. If you still have feelings for your H maybe there's a chance for you guys to reconcile. If not he will eventually realize he lost the best thing he ever had YOU. Good luck I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I'm sorry I couldn't offer more advice.<p>
Unsure

Unsure thank you,
you seem more sure in what you say than your name shows.
Thank you for beeing here, I assume I only had to vent.
It's so hard to live in dark long tunnel with no signs of light ever more.
I still have so many feelings for my ex and he knows that, OW knows that, girls know that-and everyone is disapponted for that, they all see me like a crazy old woman.
I can't help myslf, I love him more than a life, maybe even more than girls.
I feel so hopeless,wish to die-

BAD,
I sense that you are very depressed. I was just wondering if you are getting help? I hope that you have someone to talk to.
I am praying for you.<p>Dawn

B&D, I saw this today and my heart goes out to you. Feelings are often stronger than we feel we can bear. I'm sorry for your situation. Is there anyone near you can call or stay with for a day or two?<p>I felt that way too on d-day evening. It was a horrible lonely pain that I couldn't make go away. I wondered why people were coming and going on their merry way. I imagined telling them about me to see their reaction. I guess I wanted the world to share my aching heart and tell me what to do.<p>You must seek out a counselor to share with. Perhaps a relative or friend can come over and listen. No matter what I can tell you God has a plan for you. Take a moment to ask him to take your pain. Although it isn't instantaneous, it will go away, at least the sharpness of it.<p>You are not an old woman! You did nothing to deserve this horrible turn of events. You must know that your D's love you and need you.<p>At the risk of sounding like a broken record, suicide is a long term soloution to a short term problem. Don't even think about it!<p>I will pray for you. Say one with me, won't you?<p>love
Debi

Dawn and Debi,
first of all thank you.
I have my parents alive but they are old (77) and a bit senile and sick, ruined with all this (they had 2 sons before me who died as babies so they loved my ex as their son, sometimes I think more than me) and I can't talk a lot with the.
I am also an atheist, so can't find help in God.
In fact I can't hold on anyone but me. I had a lot of friends but I became boring: you know, so many divorces and noone seems to panic that way and to hold on ex after 2.5 yrs and with OC on the way.
I , unfortunately, still think of him, want to reconcile and restore our family, even more when i am informed of so many things about OW that noone could like. Even my OD the moment before came to live with me found an e-mail, wrote by OW with "something"(she won't tell me what) that "would everyone except our dad make her kick out the same moment not caring about pregnancy".
But he made OD go and OW stay in his house.<p>Unfortunately my daughter and me are not in good relations just now. They say it's my fault. I am hysteric always sad and depressed and dad and OW are always happy and have fun.<p>It seems neither one cares about OC.
It seems neither one wants us to reconcile.
It seems neither one cares we are left. In fact they are not: YDspends every weekend with them and OD was/is always satisfied being left alone in her room or with her boyfriend of 2+yrs.<p>I don't know if there is some advice except those well known phrases: it will be better, you are not alone, you can go on, he's not the only one in the world........<p>Even after 2+ yrs I can't think that way, every day is harder and i don't see the light.