This is for everyone who may now be going thru the awful truth of the most hurtful and painful experince as a trusting, and loving humanbeing can go thru. I will always remember the days filled with pain, tears, and not knowing what the furture held. I was 2 months pregnant when I, I guess you call it D/D. I have been thru so much, this is why I refuse to give up on my H that I am now married to. My first H, I had to through him out, and go thru my pregnancy alone. He refused to be honest and stop seeing the OW, even though, we were expecting our first child. He moved right in with her, when I through him out. That was 15 years ago. My son is in 10th grade and doing fine. Each day as I raised him we grew closer and closer, I truly believe he was my distration from an otherwise painful divorice, and news of OW getting pregnant. Out of jealousy, no doubt. I know now in my heart the Lord made it happen this way. Everyday was struggle, but my son gave me strength, to go on, at a time when, I just wanted to hide from the world and feel sorry for myself. We were alone. I would take him for walks everyday around early evening, and as we did I would notice in the other house's that families were together, and all sitting down together for dinner. Then after I returned home, and laid him in his crib, I would sit on the floor at the bottom of his crib, and cry, as the sun was going down, and darkness still only a gray light filled his room. His father my now xH, wasn't interested in him or me anylonger. Hadn't been since I last saw him when I through his stuff in our driveway. The only time we talked was through our lawyers. The OW was pregnant now, and Im sure she wouldn't be crying as I am. She knew he was married, but of course she didn't care. Did she really believe he would marry her and live happily ever after. You see now looking back (Hindsight) I realized that he wasn't running from me to her, he was running from responciably, and the worst thing she could have done was get pregnant, I even told her this, that by getting pregnant she diidn't seal their love, she doomed it. However she did not believe me. She thought that I was just being mean, of course she did not know him as I did, our relationship was not based on lie's and sneaking around, ours was based on reality, their's was his refuge from the mortgage payments, and the fact that now he had to grow up, ect... So when she called me to tell me that he had left her and their 2 month old daughter, to move in with yet another woman, I was not surprised. She did say that I was right. When I hung up the phone I sort of felt sorry for her, no I didn't say I told you so, I couldn't becacuse now she was me two an a half years ago. I had already met my present husband who I thought was the most loving, and caring man in the world, he was raised a Christian, and brought the Lord even closer to my heart. It is always darkest before the dawn, I guess if I had met him before all of this I would not have appreciated him. We dated for 6 years before we married, after all a Christian does not divorce, he had to be sure. So today I hold on, and wonder why in the last 2 years has all of this started. Today I have the Lord in my life, and I just keep praying and talking to God. I so do not want to have to give up the one thing I love the most, but if I have to then I know it is Gods will. I know that when the Lord closes one door, it's most likely because theres another waiting for me to open. Im not saying I will divorce my now H, but maybe I will have to let go of the man I use to know, and begin to love the man he is today. As hard as it may seem, there isn't anything harder then to do what I had done 15 years ago. I didn't die, and niether did my son, I may have fallen, but the good Lord was there to pick me up.If you read my previouse post you will understand, It's under Just found Out. My now H may be seeing another woman, or he maybe just wearing the clothes himself, I have had my makeup disappear also. What ever it is, he says he loves me, and that it's not another woman. Lord I don't know what it is, but Im sure when you want me to know you will show me. After all you showed me the truth about my xH.
I don't mean to get off the path of what I was saying, sorry. I just want you, who ever you are to know that you are not alone, even if you think you are, The Lord is with you, and he will carry you when you feel you can't go on. He will fill your heart once again with love and joy, all you have to do is just call his name, and open your heart. He will show you that there is life after the OW & OC. It may not be what you want, but you will be happy once again. If I can help anyone, please just ask. I am here, and will listen, and /or respond. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

TruthCar
I like your curriage, you are a wonderful person.
I would like to be brave as you were.
It is so right that you found your happiness.
I haven't read your whole story but I am sure you'll find the way how to solve problems once more.<p>Unfortunately, I am old, sad, disappointed, too educated woman, for the first time in my life left all alone with a lot of problems (see my other post on this site and mostly on D/D).
Above all this is what I am obsessed with: I love my ex desperately, I can't imagine living alone without him. My OD will stay with me quite short time, cause she'll soon have her own family and in few yrs YD also, so what is the life worth living.
Everything I loved , everything I ever wated was the family. And now there is no family.
He HAS a family, brand new but my destiny is to be alone and I can't bear that.
I tried suicide 1.5yrs ago , now I have no more curriage but I only want to sleep forever.
Every day is harder, the pain is stronger.
They were wrong, time does not heal wounds, just opposite.<p>If you maybe have e-mail I'd be glad to talk to you more.

Dear Bad,
I don't mean to hurt your feelings but, "shame on you" how could you do such a thing to your D's after what happened to you. Aren't you better then XH, If you commit sueside then your even worst then him. Life does go on, and happiness can once again be your's. However you have to move on, stop standing still. I know how you feel, I just finished writing a letter to my H asking for the truth, I need to know,This must end one way or another. Yes I fear the worst, but it's not geting any better this way. I will look upon it has a new adventure. I don't believe that this is the end for me. And I also don't believe it is for you eighter. also are you ready to face the consequence's of your action's, if you think your alone now just wait. Hell is being alone for eternity. Thats where you will end up, the Lord isn't to forgiving when it comes to sueside.
You have 2 D's, you are there role model. They learn by your action's not by your word's. You have so much to give to them, you should take this time, especially with your YD,and teach her that a woman worth isn't measured by a man, but by herself. That having a man isn't everything in life, being happy is. And being happy is the best revenge if thats what you want. Your XH won't reconize you, and the OW might start to worry, especialy when another baby comes along, and the honymoon peroid is over. Hopefully by then you will have forgotten about him, the OW however will knows what he did you, and believe me I'll bet theres not a day that goes by where she doesn't wonder if he'll do the same to her.
You don't have that worry hanging over your head.
Your young, smart, and most likely beautiful. Who cares how old she is. Age has no meaning after 30 anyway. There is so much life to be lived and life is short. The Lord helps those who help themselve's. Pray for guideance, and strength. The Lord will always carry you through, even if you think he isn't he is. All you need to do is call out his name, lean on him, he will never foresake you. I will pray for you, and if you need to talk my email is Roosterkrueg@msn.com
Have yourself one last cry, and do something for yourself tomorrow, anything that makes you feel good. Do one thing for yourself every day, and keep praying. Before you know it time will heal your wounds, time neds to move to heal you, so get moveing. Time is a wasting, after all when one door close's another one opens, that is so true, and don't you want to be ready when it does. Keep the faith, in God, and yourself.
You will see mircles start to happen, but they never will if you never give them a chance. And your D's deserve to see you happy also. Go for it! Then email me and tell me the one thing you did for yourself to make yourself feel good.
I am waiting to hear from you...