Maybe you read my last post saying that in the past few weeks I have wondered if my husband is working on another affair. He's done so well in the past few months, I have felt so secure. He's gone out of his way to make me feel good about us. He's even told me about his inner feelings about being scared to be alone, etc. He told me that so many times he does things on the spur without really thinking about the consequences and that he knows that being with me is not only good, but makes him better. I am so in love with this man, but sometimes I feel like his parent b/c I have to say no so much. He's getting better though. We have come a long long ways.<p>But now I have "that feeling". He of course is denying everything and last Saturday one of his co-workers confirmed to me that a girl has been calling him regularly at lunch and they talk for 10-15 minutes. I didn't tell him I called co-worker. I am so scared. <p>I think he knows that I talked to his co-worker b/c of something he said this morning. We were on the way to work and he said something about a pothole he saw yesterday. Well, he doesn't normally go anywhere during the day, so I said huh. And he says what you don't believe me, why don't you call and ask co-worker. I said why was he there? And husband said no, but you may as well call him to ask since you think he knows everything. Sounds like he was calling me on that for sure. Hmmm...So I may admit that I talked to co-worker, but... Where do I go from here? What happened to having just a normal happy relationship? Oh yeah, that was when I believed all the lies...nevermind...I guess we never had that. Well, how do you think I should act, think, whatever? I'm trying so hard. I know he loves me, I have no doubt, but he has been known to mess up even the things that he wants.<p>Many of you talk about praying with your husbands. any thoughts on how i can encourage my husband to do this? i really believe that if he was more into putting God first then things would be so much better for us. i bought "power of praying wife" and he knows i am reading it. his reaction is like a pat on the head, "okay honey i see that you're reading a book again, i don't think we have a problem, but whatever". i asked him to go through a christian financial workbook with me. we started it and quit. i asked him to read the Bible with me everyday. he will, but he is obviously doing it for me, and is happy when our five minutes are over. we don't do it anymore. i just don't know how to encourage him in the right way. Any thoughts?<p>----- An aside
Nicely our court stuff is online, cause the courts won't tell me anything. They say I am not a party to the case. And I haven't even been allowed to come into the judge's chambers when they had court previously. But since it is online I can find out a lot. And I found out yesterday that our custody case for the 2oc has gone to the office of the girl who makes court dates. So hopefully ours will be coming soon. (Well, that's a mixed wish. Cause as long as we have been waiting, there has been more peace. But I want this over too.) And since we don't know where ow (we call her the babysitter) is, we may get custody and not get kids.

Hi aimee2,
Well, all you can do is keep yourself encouraged through prayer and faith in God's word. He promises you a lot of great things if you continue to be faithful to Him. Your H will be drawn to the light inside of you so just keep letting YOUR light shine. People are not drawn to darkness so when we are exhibiting darkness, they are not drawn to the Light... [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>We can't force anyone to seek God. He doesn't have grandkids, either. We all have to come to God of our own volition. I think your best bet is to keep being the best wife you can be. I admire your faith and courage and strength.<p>Maybe just keep praying for your H in secret and keep watching out for God to reward you openly. I'll be praying with you and for you also. Keep the faith!

Hello aimee2,<p>It sounds like you are in a pretty tough situation. I dont know your story but about the only advice i can give you is that if your instincts truly lead you to believe your h is at it again be blunt and ask him. I dont know if you have ever heard the old saying "If it looks like a duck and walks like a duck, it MUST be a duck".<p>I know from my own experience that if your H does love you everytime you ask him it will be hard for him to deny it. Just try to do it in a nonconfrontational way.<p>Trying to get info from friends probably wont be that much help because they will try to cover out of loyalty to your H. You are going to have to do it yourself. Might want to check things like cell phone records and voicemail if possible, credit card statements, reciepts etc...
But above all keep praying no matter how tough it gets. God will convict your husband. Sooner or later God will drop a big enough rock on him to make him see the light. Thats what he did to me. Remember, the bible states that God never gives you a situation greater than what you are able to handle.<p>Again, I dont know your full story; is your H at all involved or willing to be involved in church? Julia and I are recieving counseling from a pastor at our church and it has really helped. I wasn't very open to the idea intially but was pleasantly surprised. One of the most useful things i was told was that I need to be completely honest with Julia. Often times this is very painful for me to admit, and i know it is very painful to W to hear details about A. <p>It is very hard at times but i have learned that when i have lied, or not told the complete truth, with the intent of sparing Julia hurt i infact cause more damage by her finding out the truth from someone other than me than what woulda been caused by being truthful from the start. Does that make sense? Its always easier hearing it from someone you love.<p>Something else we were told: the four laws of communication. Be honest, be current, be proactive, and attack the problem not the person.<p>The only catch is these only work if both sides follow them.<p>I hope this helped you. Sorry about the length [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]