I have been with my husband for 11 years, we have 4 children together. We were young when we got together, so it is fair to say we made our mistakes a long the way. I write this in order to show everyone first hand how manipulative an OW can be. So you can see the twist that “some” OW put on our H’s. In this case, my H OW came on here One to hurt me and rub it in my face that my H had called her without my knowledge, and second to gain your sympathy by claiming to be the victim of a psycho MM. I do not write this in order to defend myself, for I simply feel that I have no reason to defend myself to the OW. I write this simply because I am tried of the OW in my case gaining sympathy with her lies.<p>“I just wanted to post my version of being the OW w/OC. Started in 99’. This friend of my brother comes over, we get along real well, have seen him for the past year at my parents with my brother, ect. I knew he was separated and living alone for the past year. We started to fall for each other, and he moved in. Little did I know he was still seeing his wife.” Godschildtoo<p>She forgot to mention, that her brother was the best man in my brothers wedding, and that my brother also lived with her. It is true that me and H were separated, first for domestic abuse and then we got back together and again I had to ask him to leave because of his drug use with OW brother. This would be why OW saw him at her parents. I also went to her parents house once to see H. If OW did not know that H was still seeing me, I wonder how come she called the cops on me and had me thrown in jail the first night I caught them together. Doesn’t sound like a marriage that was over to me..?? Did I forget to add that I even went out to dinner with OW and her family with my H, at his insistence, that is how I met her. She asked me if me and H were together, and I said we were trying to work it out.<p>
“We would have his children over and I got along with the EX, ect. She had a boyfriend, mentioned getting a divorce and marrying the new guy. He started proceedings to get a divorce, ect.” Godschildtoo<p>It took me a while to agree to the fact that my children go to her house, because I knew her past. OW was an ex-stripper and a known drug user. And at the time I did not consider my husband as stable either. I did start “dating” a man after he moved in with her, because I thought it was over. I made a lot of mistakes during this time. I did not take his moving in with her very well and started drinking to kill any pain that I had, and believe me it worked, all to well, it also numbed me to a lot of my responsibilities. My H did file divorce on me but NOT until after he moved back in and threw me down the stairs while I was 2 mths pregnant. Which was almost 6 mths. After he moved back in with me and the children.<p>“In the meantime, she was founded for child abuse and neglect for their 3 children.” Godschildtoo <p>This is NOT true! I did have papers filed on me for neglect, but.they were overturned. This is what makes it personal. I didn’t abuse my kids! I don’t even spank them. I can admit that I did become selfish and make some serious mistakes, and not a day goes by that I don’t regret what I became at that time. I don’t need some trashy OW telling me anything of the sort! Godschild…what a joke! Could this be a warning what is to come if we go for visitation?? OW accused her husband of child molesting. but she still lets the child go to her fathers for weekend visits. <p>“He started to act funny after about 3 months, not coming home, and other things. I asked him if he still cared about his wife, and told him that if wanted to try to make his marriage work, then who am I to stand in the way of that.
He left finally and went back to her.” Godschildtoo<p>With the exception of the first mth they were together, my H called me at least 2 to 3 times a day and asked to come home. I think that seeing him with another women, made me realize that I could loose him for good. I did love him, always have and always will, but the way he treated me became so overbearing that I had to make him leave and all I could hope for was that he would change and see what he was giving up. He told me finally, that after living with her, that he had come to really appreciate me. It was also obvious that he and I were falling apart without each other. So yes he did leave her, and come back here. Where he belonged. Who was she to stand in the way? Yes, who was she? Two days after he left she claimed to have a miscarriage, should have been a tale-tale sign as to what was to come next, this is I assume what made him go back, that and she said he could have “it” anytime he wanted, and she wouldn’t tell me.<p>“BUT would not stop coming over to my house or calling me or emailing me. I still had feelings for him and he knew that and played on my emotions. I ended up pregnant. At the same exact time she got pregnant too. I finally changed my phone #, sent any emails he sent me to her, and would tell her if I seen him or if he called. I didn’t know how else to get rid of the guy! I just wanted to be left in peace, to go on with life, raise my children and get my degree. Without another cheating, lieing [censored] in my life. How my life got to this point, I don’t know, but I lived and learned. I do not resent having my child. I love him with all my heart.” Godschildtoo<p>This simply makes me sick. I was pregnant a good 2 mths before she was. When she found out I was pregnant, she sent an email telling me she hoped my insides feel out! And the sad things about that is, they almost did. I almost lost the baby from internal bleeding. I was told that I had an 80% chance of loosing the baby, all of this she knew because my H had told her. I was on my way up an ultra sound to check the condition of the baby, to make sure that everything was developing right. When I received and email from her telling me to come and pick up my husbands checkbook at her house. So I did. Wasn’t aware of the trap I was walking into. When I walked in, there were 4 ept test laying on the coffee table, all lined up in a perfect row. Ready and waiting for me. Along with the check book, she handed me a note from her doctor saying she was pregnant. She told me she f#$% my husband because I wouldn’t. Fact is I couldn’t. I was worried about the baby, and was told no sex by the doctor.
She did just the opposite of what was stated above…she did everything to keep my H not get rid of him. Called him non stop and emailed him repeatedly, not that he didn’t jump at the chance to be with her because did, whenever he could. He would get caught at her house by me or my sister, and would leave for the weekend and stay at her house, and come back Sunday night, like everything was normal. Wanted to be left in peace. What would she know about that, I was trying to keep my marriage together and all she did was tear it apart. I swallowed my pride and hide my shame so many times because I ment what I said for better or worse….To post on this site, where she knows I am, to humiliate me even further. Peace hu?<p>“But here’s the dilemma. After 3 years, this guy WILL NOT leave me alone. He doesn’t ever want to come see his son, he only wants to come visit me. He emails, instant messages, and calls at least every other month. Called me when I was on vacation even. I just don’t get it. If he’s happy in his marriage and went back to his wife and living the life he wanted to live, WHY doesn’t he leave me alone!? I’m real sick of it all. If he was only contacting me about his Son, that would be different. But that is not his intentions. And I have No Respect for a father that doesn’t care about his son. I do respect the fact that if he had contact with his Son it causes problems in his family. So I am ok with him Not Contacting us.
Any suggestions on getting rid of this guy? I didn’t fight when he tried to have the c.s. reduced to a bear minimum of 150 a month. I even offered to let him just buy our son 50 savings bonds a month and to forget the c.s. but his wife wouldn’t allow that, saying that that wasn’t fair to me? Which, I don’t care, as long as he stayed out of our lives!
I’m not desperate, I’m just trying to go on with my own life. I’ve been doing whatever I can to detour him and if needs be put her mind at ease if she contacts me.” Godschildtoo
I will give you one suggestion on getting rid of this guy. LEAVE HIM ALONE. Stop using the child against him to make him feel guilty. Don’t call him don’t email..nothing. It is not his OC that causes problems in this family. It is you. Plain and simple. I tired to come to visitations and bring the dinner and the kids and see the OC. But what ended up happening?? Take a guess. Yep, OW and H decided that it was more fun when it was just them, so they started in behind my back, after I went out of my way to accept the OC. I did try, with all my heart. I forgave H and OW and tried to move on and make the best from a bad situation, Even though, it broke my heart to look at the poor child. I would cry for hours after wards. But I tried. Just six mths ago they were back at the affair again. And OW has the b%^&s to get on here and say any of this sh%^!!! <p>I ask all of you to pray for me. I am angry, I am hurt. And I am sad..so sad..I am tried of hurting and in need of some hope, and advise as to what to do next.
