I know that I haven’t been here very long, but I want to say this to all the “oldies” that are here on this site. <p>I am saddened by the fact that there are so many of you leaving. I can understand if you feel that you have found yourself in a place that you feel you can move on with your recovery from the tragic events that brought you to this site, this board, in the first place. And I can understand if you are leaving because of a lack of support.<p>But to allow the crashers to “run you off” is downright scary. <p>How long have you been a member of this site? How much support have you received? How much have you given? Was there an “oldie” that helped you when you first came to the site? How long before they “moved on?”<p>I have to tell you I am terrified. I feel as though the “newbies”, myself included, are going to be floundering without someone that has been there and done that, helping to guide the way. <p>I know that each of us must deal with our situations and our Ow’s and Oc’s in the way that best suits our families… No one should feel they need to tell you what you should do or not do with your lives… Your lives are just that… YOUR LIVES…you and your spouse are the ones that make the decisions… not the “crasher”… <p>We all have our opinions… and we all have a right to them… but as it has been said so many times on this board, if there is a non-supportive or an attacking post… IGNORE IT.. Don’t respond.. if you respond it only grows… and causes more discontent. Ignore it… and it will die out… keep being supportive of one another… <p>WE are the ones to keep this going… and WE are the ones that can destroy it…<p>Don’t give the “Crashers” the feeling of power over you. We have all learned that we shouldn’t allow the OW to gain control over our lives… And the same applies to the “Crasher.” It is becoming more apparent that they may share many of the same traits… <p>This post is not meant to be an attack… only an observation… Please accept it as such..

Staci, I am not going anywhere. I have been a member for a year now, and I truely love this forum and have gained much support and comfort here. No one can push me away. I do not post new topics often, but I have tonight. Check out my new topic and you will see just how I feel on the subject. <p>We have tried to give oc a place in our life, and look what it got us. <p>I wish you all the best in your strugle to continue to be a part of your Lil bit's life and I truely feel that you are doing the right thing. Peace and love to you and your family, Gabi1116

Stacia,<p>I am not going anywhere either. I may slow down in another 3 months, due to Sailorman's return, and preparations for transfering, but I will still be here. There will also be a period of about a month when we won't have a computer, so I won't be around at all at that point, but will return as soon as I am able, but that is about 6 months away.<p>Ok, I started to ramble, so I am going to just say that I, too, pray that those who are leaving, aren't being "run off" by those who are being so judgmental to your specific situation.<p>Love,<p>Tigger

Please don't worry. People have seasons in life where they change and I'm sure God will provide whatever support you need to get you through this. Trust Him with all your heart. HE WILL PROVIDE. {{{{HUGS}}}}

stacia,
Don't you worry; there are, unfortunately, too many of us for this board to collapse entirely! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] We love sharing our collective wisdom and pain, for there aren't many we can tell it to, right?! This is one of life's "dirty little secrets," with nearly no where to turn for information and support. I honestly HOPE there comes a time for most of us to move on; if that means leaving the board, so be it! It is good to feel recovered after so much grief and pain... sadly, some situations don't lend themselves to as much resolution as others.<p>Okay, I'm rambling now. BtDt said it best: trust God and it will all be okay eventually. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>J
recovery 3+ years and happy [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

I'm not going anywhere either... y'all are stuck with me...LOL!!! [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Hugs to you,
Twiisty

Stacia_Lee,
I was worried for you guys when I first saw your topic. Whew thought you were having more
heartache about your lil bit.
The most recent sweetheart that we have encountered has nothing to do with me not being able to be here as much as before. I think when you get a reaction as the one this person gave tells me allot of what I had to say hit home. It doesn't bother me a bit to get attacked its what I feel or h feels or its what has happened. It may be rude and crude but what has happened in my situation and most everyone here is just that it isn't pretty. What bothers me is to see someone else getting the garbage slung at them.
The way I look at it is the ow that have such a hard time with the truth, should not come here and
ask questions if they cant handle the answer. I plan on being here for a very long time probably
about 15 1/2 more yr.. I just find I have been able to finally move on to other things and am very busy. But I will try to help or lend my support when I can. I'm all for what you and your h are doing its people like you that this world needs.<p> with love, flowerseed

flowerseed:<p>You were one of the first to welcome me and it looks like I'll quit this board one year after you...I have 16 more years to go...lol....we shall have a party then, eh?<p>I think of you often and love it when you post...have a great day!
Hugs,
Twiisty