My husband and I have been married for 17 years this year, together for 18. He was married before, briefly (He served his Ex divorce papers around their first anniversay) They has been together for about 6 years total. I had met him around the time of the filing. This past October, he looked her up on the internet, through Classmates, and she responded to his e-mail, they have been contacting each other since, a few emails and IM's. I've voiced my thoughts about this, it has brought me back to the young woman that I was all those many years ago, the rebound one. She keeps bringing up the past, would they still be married if friends hadn't interviened? She said she knew she was going to marry him the first time she saw him... That kind of crap, she alledgedly is happily married (third time)and has three children,one with the second husband and two with the third. But I feel very insecure, I am clingy now and fearful, I've shared this with him, and he shares the e-mails and IM's, but I can't seem to let this go. I've tried to let go, but all I seem to focus on lately is this. I worry about the e-mails and the contact. I know he loves me, and we are very close. I'm sharing my feelings, but I just don't understand the reasons to keep her on his buddy list, or to respond to e-mails. There were no children from their marriage, there was 17 years of seperation, why does he have this need to find out how she is? How am I supposed to feel, we have two teenagers, and are very happily married, I'm just insecure? We have had our ups and downs, but recently, about two years now, things have been wonderful. We have been in counselling for 7 1/2 years, we meet every other Monday, it's been the same counselor and now it is just a comfort zone. An evening out for us, a third party to listen. We've told her we'll still be visiting at the nursing home, she is more like a family member, as she knows us so very personally. She is discussing this with us too. I'm confused. Any suggestions? A mid-life crisis? Definately a lesson for me, but what? I read a quote the other day "Hate is not the opposite of Love, but indifference is" I would like him to feel indifferent not curious.
<small>[ February 07, 2004, 04:57 AM: Message edited by: dnctroia ]</small>
