Sorry I have been so bad about being on and letting yall know what is going on. I have still been going to school 13 hours a week and working 40. By the time I drive across town after work to get my little girl and get home and get her to bed I just collapse. I guess that is a good thing.<p>H is still gone. He is shacking up with Trailer Trash Barbie in a scumbag hotel. I found this out cause my little girl wanted to talk to him so I called his room and the hussy answered. How many out here know what it feels like to have to get through another female to talk to her H? Show of hands please. That is a horrible feeling.<p>He wants to be there for the new baby coming ...thru my pg and all...but I think he just wants to do it so he will feel better about leavimg me. He can justify what he is doing since he doesnt see that as total abandonment. I dont think I want him there. I seem to be much stronger when I dont see him or hear his voice. I think in such an intimate vulnerable moment as labor and birth his presence might not be wanted. I have an ultrasound scheduled for Monday ..hopefull to see what it is so I can quit callng it an it. He is supposed to go with me. I figure I will allow it just so maybe a bit of reality would set in. Probably not, but what can it hurt. Either way I think it is over for us even if he wanted to come home. How can he do this to me again?<p>I am for the most part starting to feel better about me. The future is still so unsure and shakey, but I am trusting in the Lord to pull me through. I have been looking at these townhomes that will be ready in March. If I can get assistance I might can live there. And soon. The sooner the better. For those that dont know I am living in a mobile home in a place that I hate and it belongs to h's mother. I want out so bad. Plus I am so sick of looking at H's stuff I could puke. He put a deposit down on his "place" last week and should be there on Friday. Ten bucks says the bimbo moves in with him. <p>That is my basic update. I hope everyone else is doing well. I dont have much time anymore, but I think about all of yall often and love yall very much. You all mean so much to me. Even those I dont know. We have a certain kinship not many can share........although sadly it is too many that do share it. May the Lord bless you all and keep you close.<p>Love<p>bw

Hey BW,<p>I was happy to see this post! I have been wondering how you've been holding up! By all means, rest when you get home! You, your D and the baby need that above all else! Let me know if there is anything I can do for you, even from way out here!<p>Love,<p>Tigger

Oh, Broken....<p>When I started out reading your post, I was just relieved to finally hear from you. But, as I continued to read, I felt my blood pressure creep up and by the end of your post, I saw red.<p>The horrible, horrible injustice of this and that this happening to you again is so upsetting to me. Your attitude is admirable and I am relieved you are focusing on yourself and what you need to do. Your spouse will end up paying a huge price and I am glad you are not going to make it easy for him and are tuned in to his motives.<p>Stay strong in Christ. You are in my prayers.<p>Catnip =^^=

Dear BW,<p>I am so glad to hear from you. You do sound like you are doing OK. Sometimes, especially in difficult times, busy is better than idle.<p>Hang in there. We are all pulling for you.<p>Love,
MJ

It's good to see your update...been praying and thinking of ya....IM or call me when you get a chance....<p>Hugs,
Twiisty

You are gonna make it, regardless... God will see to that.

bw,
My heart goes out to you, your daughter, and your baby-to-be. I so sorry things are crazy-making in your life, but I believe God can make good come from evil...<p>Holding you up to His light and love,
and wishing you lots of rest!!
Hugs,
J

BW,<p>Thinking about you and keeping you in prayer...<p>God WILL battle this out for you, trust him to do that. Keep praying that God does wonderful things. I know He can change the hardest of hearts. I know you love your h and hate to see him destroy himself, so keep praying for him...everyday, everyday. God hears you and your prayers do not come back void. We will be praying for him, too.<p>Julia

BW,<p>I just wanted you to know I was thinking about you. I am glad you are feeling better about you that's important. All else can wait. Good luck I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.<p>Unsure