I don’t post about OW often (I’m almost afraid to lately!). As I’ve said before OW and H had children before we were married and I found out about 7 months ago there was an OC as a result of an affair.
I’ve never cared for OW even before I knew she was the OW. I’ve kept my opinions of her to myself out of respect for the fact that H had children with her (that’s gone out the window now).
Fortunately for me she lives about 70 miles away. She used to live in the next town over but moved 3 years ago. Her family lives and works in the same town as me. I find this very uncomfortable. There are things that I would like to do but I don’t do because of the possibility they will be there. Nothing against them, I just feel uneasy knowing that they know.<p>At any rate, I am a teacher and OW’s sister has subbed in my wing several times. The first time was awful for me. I was gracious and didn’t act flustered by it. Each time I see her it's gets easier. I have gone out of way to say hello, and be as friendly as I can. She has been there several times. I just know when the assistant in my class is out she’ll be called. Today she was there subbing in the room next to me. I am about 99% sure she knows who I am. I know who she is, but neither of us has verbally acknowledged the fact that we have a connection. The topic of her family came up while I was working in the same room as her. I left the room to do something else because I didn’t want to be there to hear about OW. My friend said that she mentioned that she had a sister that she doesn’t see often, doesn’t get along with and has no respect for. She also said that she doesn’t think this sister should even have the children she has. (I’ve mentioned before on this board about them being removed from the home by social services.) I think part of the reason for her explanation was to somehow let me know how she feels about her sister and not to hold her sister’s action against her. I have to live with the fact that my H repeatedly had children with her. (a very difficult thing for me)<p>I don’t even know what the point of this whole post is, other than the fact that I have been assured that the feelings and thoughts I have for OW are also shared by her family.<p>Thanks for listening to my ramblings.<p>Take care,
Why

Why,<p>I had to think about this a little before I responded. First, let me say that I believe you have handled it wonderfully, thus far. I also feel that the xOW's S may have told the other co-worker that for the very reason you stated, that she(the sister) in no way supports what the xOW has done to you and your family. You do, however, have every right not to become buddy-buddy with her, due to the connections involved. It would be very uncomfortable for all involved.<p>I would say that if she seeks you out, be kind, and don't hold the xOW's actions against the S. Judge her as her own person, and treat her as such.<p>JMHO<p>Tigger

I think that you've handled it well too.<p>I always wonder what people think, since sooo many people knew about it before I even did. <p>They are not thinking that you are a bad person or stupid or anything like that. They are probably thinking, if anything, how badly they feel for you. What an awful situation that your husband put you in, etc. <p>I know that it's uncomfortable, but it seems that the two of you are getting along just fine. I think that it was nice of her to let it out that she believes that it was wrong of her sister. Maybe she wants you to feel comfortable?<p>I also would try not to become buddy-buddy with her because of the situation. <p>It's all going to be ok [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>tinlizzy

Thanks Tigger and Tinlizzy,<p>I hope I didn't make it sound like I was going to seek her or her friendship out. It is just so uncomfortable. There is another of OW's siblings who has a child in the grade I teach. I made sure he didn't end up in my class. This sister has a child coming to my grade next year and again, I'll have to do the same thing. <p>I guess I wonder what that family thinks of me knowing I married a man that would be drawn towards thier relative (and chooses to have so many children with her (4). Especailly since they were never married, never lived together...etc. Do they think the same of me? I have been dealing with that for a long time (even before the affair). I often wonder how he could be interested in two women who are such opposites.<p>My assistant will be out on Thursday. I hope she is not called to sub for her. <p>Just so many thoughts running around in my brain. Thanks for the listening ear!<p>Take care,
Why