Princess,
I knoe exactly where you are coming from, after 2 yrs I have FINALLY forgiven ws, it took me a longgggggg time, in the end I actually sat down with him, set up a tape recorder and vowed I would never mention the A or her name again and if I stray.....make me sit down and listen to the tape, strange as it may seemed the threat of that small plastic tape in his top drawer has stopped me from doing the 3rd degree, that was 6 months ago and whenever I have the urge to bring up the A, I remember the tape and the promises I made on it. About a week after I made a vow to forgive my H, I still was not settled because the OW lives in the same town and I often see her shopping, she is so afraid of what I may do that she avoids me at all costs, I am not violent or anything, but she has a real problem with us passing in the street.
Anyway, after I made the tape, the next day I rang her,(Never spoken to her before) I told her that I forgive them both, that H was in a low at the time, he was vunerable etc, I also thanked her for sticking to the NC stipulation and told her not to be concerned should we be in the same building, shop, etc. I will not harm her!
She thanked me, apologised for taking advantages that were unsavory etc and that was it, I hung up the phone in the bedroom, gave myself a hi-5 for getting this [censored] off my chest.
After 2 years I can now actually live my life, I forgave my H first, then I picked up the phone and forgave OW, then I was able to forgive myself for the crap that I have put my H through for 2 years.
The weight has been lifted and I can now live my life accordingly.
Good luck to you, I will be thinking of you and yours and praying for the best!
